Oddities Abound

5/27/2010: Vacation Day 2 (Part 2)

2010-06-15T11:09:00.000-07:00

5/27/2010: Vacation Day 2 (Portland, OR to Seattle, WA: Pine State Biscuits, Mount St. Helens, & Mt. Rainier)

From Mount St. Helens we went straight to Mount Rainier National Park, a.k.a. major mountain #2 of the day. Being the Type A personality that I am, I had the good sense to make sure all of the roads were going to be open before we left. And it's a good thing I did as only entrance road of the approximately five was open! So yay me for not making us drive around a big mountain for nothing.

We began the near waste of a trip at the Nisqually entrance. We were told at the entrance gate that the visibility at Paradise was negligible, but that we could kick around some snowballs if we wanted. Lovely. We expected that.

I must digress a bit here and talk about motion sickness. Although I am not as bad as a friend who literally gets motion sickness on elevators (no joke), I do tend to experience moderate to severe motion sickness on curvy roads. And I believe I may have had a touch of altitude sickness once, too. Dramamine only serves to make my very groggy, but does nothing for the dizzy/nausea feeling I experience. Although one or both of my parents think it's just a mental thing, I would like to point out to them that I remember distinctly being vomity sick at a very young age in the back of a van. A blue van. With my Computron. I decided that since there were three mountains on this trip and another road call the "Sea to Sky Highway" that sounded curvy, perhaps it was time to be proactive and try to prevent motion sickness from ruining entire chunks (no pun intended) of our vacation. So I got a prescription for Transderm Scōp. It's a little patch that sticks behind your ear for up to three days, delivering medicine through the skin. It helped a LOT! Instead of going each corner and experiencing increasingly more severe dizzy attacks, I went around each corner going, "Oh gosh...that makes me dizz....oh, it went away" each and every time. It was very nice. Until later. I'll get to that. Back to mountain #2.

On the drive up to Paradise, I saw an exit for Narada Falls and told Doug that I wanted to go there on the way back. Why not right then? Because we were running short on time for me to get my all-important cancellation stamp. Paradise was even colder than Mount St. Helens. It had to be around 30 degrees. Dummy #1 brought only a wind jacket and dummy #2 didn't bring a jacket at all. So we ran into the visitor center. At the gift center I bought a magnet and realized that there was a huge container full of snowshoes that people could rent. Weird/never thought about that one. I'm pretty sure that's an activity I should never partake in because I'm so clumsy. After we got out of the visitor center, it was clear that aside from the stamp, we felt like the drive was a bit of a waste of time because the fog was extremely thick and we couldn't see any portion of any mountain or even across the parking lot for that matter. So down the mountain we head.

About 2 blocks before the entrance to Narada Falls, we notice a car driving very slowly in front of us. In a National Park that usually means one thing- wildlife! Yes, indeed:

Notice all the snow in the background. This cutie Red Fox just stood there and stared at us. After a few moments and pictures, we drove off into the parking lot at Narada Falls. Cutie followed us into the parking lot and sat about 3 feet from the car, assuming what I can only imagine is the universal "give me food" face/stance:

I figured that she would move after a few minutes of not receiving any food, but nope. Cutie continued to sit there. I wanted to get out of the car to see the waterfall we were at, but Doug insisted that getting out the car while a Red Fox was 3 feet away from the car was probably not a bright idea. *sigh* Fine. So Cutie was cute and all, but she prevented me from seeing a pretty waterfall.

This fox wasn't an isolated incident. We saw two more foxes on the way back out. Here's one of them:

We were at the park in the very early evening and so it's possible these foxes were quite hungry and just starting their day. Good call again, Doug.

After we left Mount Rainier, we made our way to a fast casual chain Doug wanted to try called Five Guys Burgers and Fries in Renton. Doug had hoped that Five Guys would be very similar to In-N-Out. Sadly, it was not. Even more sad is the fact that they placed the calorie count right on the menu (it must be a law in Washington or something because we encountered that more than once). I would have rather been completely unaware of the fact that the just ok tasting burger and fries was worth about 1.5 days worth of calories.

Somewhere in the middle of my burger, I noticed that my mouth was extremely dry. A kind of dry that my root beer couldn't keep up with. And why was I so itchy? And why did I suddenly feel like I NEEDED to go run or just move. And why was the sound of Doug's voice suddenly so grating for no apparent reason? All he's doing is singing along with the iPod music and asking where to turn. AAAARRRRRRGGGHHH!!!! I wanted to suddenly crawl out of my skin. I then remembered I was on a new medication. I checked the pamphlet and sure enough, most people experience dry mouth. I was also experiencing extreme restlessness. After the meal, I decided to remove the motion sickness patch. Doug's voice was much sweeter in the morning. I will use these patches in the future because being extremely irritable and having a severely dry mouth is still better than being groggy and sick in the back seat of a car.

After Five (Thousand Calories,) Guys, we headed straight for our hotel, Coast Bellevue Hotel. Despite what other Trip Advisor users had to say, we were very pleased with the hotel. Especially pleasing was the fact that it was only $40/night on Priceline. Yay!

5/27/2010: Vacation Day 2 (Part 1)

2010-06-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

5/27/2010: Vacation Day 2 (Portland, OR to Seattle, WA: Pine State Biscuits, Mount St. Helens, & Mt. Rainier)

Left to my own structured (read: boring) devices on vacation, I would probably eat at whatever restaurant was next door to the hotel for most of my meals. In this case, that would have been IHOP. I suggest this to Doug so we can get an earlier, easier start to the day. His mouth said, "Let me see if I can find something else while you're in the shower." His body language said, "Come on, Rachel, we are not about to eat at IHOP on vacation. Have better taste than that!" He ended up proving, yet again, that he knows his food! Actually, he proved that he has great iPhone skills and that Guy Fieri knows his food because we ended up at a funky TINY place called Pine State Biscuits that was featured on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives (video of segment). Although the seating situation in the restaurant was a little daunting for newbies (room for MAYBE 16, some along a very thin bar against a wall), the taste and experience were great. I had The Reggie featured on their menu and Doug had just Biscuits & Gravy I think. Hands down, best biscuit I've ever had and I'm from the near-South!

After we had our morning fill of the native, dirty-looking...oh, sorry..."alternative/grunge" Portlanders, we headed out on I-5 to to our first of three mountains on this vacation: Mount St. Helens National Volcanic Monument. I just wanted to just stop off at the visitor center 5 miles off of I-5, get my corny refrigerator magnet, and quickly move on to the second mountain of the day. I mean, the Johnson Ridge Observatory camera setup at the visitor center clearly showed that we wouldn't even get a clear view of Mount St. Helens due to dense fog, so what's the point, right? I would have been happy with just this view of the volcano (click on all of these to see more detail. Once you get to Flickr you'll then have to click on "All sizes above the picture itself):

Plus, the drive would add 100 extra miles. Once again, Doug proves he's the one with better judgment. That 50 mile drive is ridiculously beautiful with tons of cute waterfalls along the way. One tree caught our eye on the drive, the Noble Fir. The branches are splayed out in such as way that when many trees are grow together and one is driving, they look out of focus. It's difficult for me to put in words what I mean. Nor can I find any pictures of this effect.

Once we drove past the sign that said "Entering Volcanic Hazard Area" (scary!), the contrast between living and decimated forest was eerie. The death of the forest, almost exactly 30 years, is still very palpable.

When we got to the Johnston Ridge Observatory and stepped out of the car, Doug said, "oh man, it's chilleeee up here." It was probably 40 degrees at the observatory compared with the 60 degrees we had experienced just an hour earlier. I looked over and notice he's wearing SHORTS and a short-sleeved shirt. Silly boy. "Did someone forget that it gets cold on mountains?" I just got the shifty, sad boy look back at that one. After Doug changed clothes, we headed into the visitor center. We spent about 10 minutes in there. Eh, whatever. We then took a small loop trail that lead up a little higher in elevation. Here are some of the views from the trail (including the picture above):

And finally me in front of the beautiful volcano:

Well, sometimes ya get what ya get.

5/26/2010: Vacation Day 1

2010-06-08T11:24:00.000-07:00

(Warning: This only people who might find this interesting is my mom and dad. It's mainly written so I can remember the details of our awesome vacation in a few years when the memories have begun to fade.)

5/26/2010: Vacation Day 1 (Fly from Tulsa to Portland, OR)

This day doesn't really count because we got into Portland, OR at 23:00 (which is 01:00 Oklahoma time) and we were tired! We stayed at Aloft near the airport where I quickly discovered that the either the Pacific Northwest is really into the earth or the Starwood Hotel brand wants to pretend they are eco-friendly. This was the first hotel I have stayed at with a recycling bin. The hotel also had the option to decline maid service in exchange for $5 that could be used at their restaurant/snack bar if you stayed more than one night. Neat. I wanted to throw my panties that ripped on the plane trip in the recycle bin, but thought better of it. Actually, Doug told me it would be gross and in poor taste. That husband, always keepin' me in line.

My Life Story for Facebook

2009-10-15T11:04:00.000-07:00

(Updated 10/15/2009)

Let's get you up to speed!

Background:
I was born in Fort Smith, Arkansas but moved to Glenpool, OK around the age of 2. I went to school at Glenpool all 13 years and graduated in 1999. It's scary that half of my friends on FB are people I only know from high school because I am definitely not the same person now as I was then. And no, the same cannot be said for everyone.

After high school, I spent my first 1.5 semesters at East Central University before becoming very ill in February 2000. I was eventually diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder. I ended up dropping half of my classes that semester and came crawling back home to Mommy and Daddy. I've been well ever since then, thank you. After moving back home, I split my time between working at the corporate office for a local independent rural telephone company and taking the college courses I needed wherever they were offered for the cheapest price. Thus, I have attended Tulsa Community College and Northeastern State University in Tahlequah, Muskogee, and Broken Arrow. I graduated summa cum laude in May 2003 with a major in Elementary Education and a minor in Psychology. It was not the experience I thought I was going to have both socially (mostly older people attend the night classes I took) and academically (the difficulty level was scarcely more than high school).

After college, I then moved to Houston, Texas, and taught third grade for a year in the Spring Branch ISD district. Aside from making some wonderful friends and getting my first dog, it was not a great year. And teaching was never my long term plan. So yet again, I came crawling back to my Tulsa roots. This time it wasn't with Mommy and Daddy. I took the same job I had while in college. I still work there doing mostly accounting/executive assistant things. And although it wasn't what I thought was planned at all, I really love my job.

As fate/God/the stars would have it, my brothers joined band in middle school. In May 2005, I went to their concert. Some guy I sorta kinda knew in high school was now the assistant director of the band. I ended up chatting with him for nearly 2 hours after the concert. One thing led to another and that guy is now my husband. Doug Reynolds and I were married Cinco de Mayo 2007. I'm quite lucky to have married a very sweet, supportive, loving, caring, smart, nice, and responsible husband who even came with a great set of parents! Who else out there can say they really love their in-laws?

In November 2008, we purchased out first house in Broken Arrow. It's an average house in an average neighborhood.

In April 2009, my mother suffered a relatively major health crisis. She suffered a minor stroke that was due to an 18mm congenital atrial septal defect. That's fancy talk for huge hole between upper chambers of her heart. The hole was repaired with a space-age device called an AMPLATZER Septal Occluder. Although the stroke left her with only 60% of her vision, you'd never know she had one. And because bad things come in threes, a large meningioma (benign brain tumor) was also discovered during this time. It is unclear right now if this will need to be removed with surgery.

I love babies, but we have no babies. We're not planning on having babies anytime soon. And just as much as I respect your decision to have however many children you want, I would appreciate your respect in our decision to remain childless at this time.

We have some big things coming down the pipes in a few years, but those will be revealed when the time is right.

Packing Light

2009-07-02T14:45:00.000-07:00

I can pack all I need for a 9-day trip in one carry-on, but it turns out that doesn't make for an interesting post or pictures. The lighting in our room is horrible right now, so the pictures turned out equally as awful. I also didn't have time today at work to fully explain my reasons for wanting to accomplish this crazy thing. The basics are that you roll everything up to avoid wrinkles and take only what you need. Not what you might need. We'll see how well this avoids wrinkles. Yes, I know I'm nowhere near the Rick Steves "three changes of clothes that you wash in the hotel sink level", but one day I might be. Set here.

The Whole Mommy Story, Part II

2009-05-05T07:11:00.000-07:00

5/02/2009: Mommy got to go home today and slept a lot of the weekend.

5/05/2009: Mommy was originally scheduled for her ASD surgery at 11:00 today, but I just received an email from my dad that says there is now an opening at 10:00 today. Off I go to the hospital. I will be sending tweets from the hospital. I wonder why there would be a last minute opening at the cath lab. Did someone just die?

The Whole Mommy Story, Part I

2009-04-30T14:30:00.000-07:00

Life's funny. This past Sunday my biggest concern in life was devising a plan to keep our house in a relative state of clean just in case company dropped by. Monday's biggest concern was if my mother was going to live.

04/27/2009: I get a call from my dad around 10 am telling me that mom stood up at work, felt pain behind her ear, and lost a significant amount of her peripheral vision. Dad left work and drove my mom to St. John. At the ER, my dad was told my mother either had a migraine or a stroke. BIG difference there. Mom has a CT scan that revealed not a stroke (that bleeds into the brain), but a benign brain tumor of substantial size behind her eyes. Later in the afternoon, an MRI was performed which showed that, in addition to the meningioma, my mother did indeed suffer a stroke. Luckily, it has only affected her peripheral vision. It is unknown if she will regain more of her vision.

04/28/2009: My mother undergoes a transesophageal echocardiogram to determine the cause of the stroke. I receive a sad call from a heartbroken Daddy telling me that they found a hole in my mom's heart. And although it's been there since birth and my mother has had heart symptoms for a while (e.g., tires easily, intolerance to exercise), it was never caught by a doctor.

04/29/2009: My mother undergoes an angiogram to determine if there is blockage in her heart which would preclude her from having a less invasive heart surgery. Thankfully, there is no significant blockage. Dad is excited because this is the first good news we've heard so far. Another test was performed later to find out if there were clots lurking elsewhere in her extremities just waiting to cause another stroke. Thankfully, there are not.

04/30/2009: Heart surgery is scheduled for next Tuesday. This also happens to be my anniversary. It's undetermined if Mom will be able to go home over the weekend. A neurosurgeon says that, because her meningioma is large and will continue to grow, it must be removed. But that surgery will take place at least four months from now. Right now, we all feel really good about the odds of my mother living a normal life after this really safe surgery.

Road Trip!

2009-04-12T14:50:00.000-07:00

What's Rachel and Doug been doing lately? Well, instead of finishing up trim painting and completing other much needed home decorating projects, we've been busy making reservations for our big road trip in July. We're beyond excited about spending the 4th of July in Washington DC! I know that once we get there we won't be as excited to due the patriotic crowds and intense heat. Here's our "crazy trip" so far.

We have something far more relaxing for next summer, but for now we've got to get Doug up to speed on the number of states he's traveled to.

All of this travel planning has me even more addicted to bidding for hotel rooms on Priceline. It's like a sad silly kind of game to me wherein I use travel message boards and create my own map to figure out the nicest place to stay for dirt cheap. It's not that we can't afford to pay full price, but why would you when you can pay $55 for a room that costs $179 for the regular crowd?

Chippy

2009-01-29T19:06:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure how I let it happen, but I noticed that my movie list has been a draft in Blogger since last MAY! But here's what I've watched recently:

Planet Earth: Complete Series: Disc 2 (2006).

My Best Friend's Girl (2008) = 2/10. I seriously hated the ending. And most of the rest of the movie.

I am privileged to have the opportunity to talk to the wonderful and gracious president of the company where I work on a daily basis. Somehow during my 7 years of employment we have managed to form a food bond in the form of recipe exchanging. This woman KNOWS good food! However, she is very used to shopping at super fancy fine food markets and using upper-class ingredients than she sometimes forgets what we peons have to eat. And the foods we love.

Last week during one of our conversations she gave me a recipe. She said it was fabulous. But...

J: Here are the precise ingredients for this Mexican Lasagna. Now, the very first thing is calls for is a 15-17 oz. bag of, and I'll repeat it exactly as it was written, cheese-flavored corn chips.

Me: Uh huh. [pausing for a moment] You mean...like...Doritos?

J: Well now, Rachel, that is the ONLY thing I found in the entire store that really met that description.

It was hard to keep from laughing. But it is hard for me to imagine a world where the love Doritos is completely lost.

Never in my Wildest...

2009-01-07T18:50:00.000-08:00

The two biggest things that happened to me in 2008:

*A person I saw quite often will be spending some time in jail this year.

*An ex-boyfriend that I dated nearly 1.5 years back in 1999-2000 was murdered. MURDERED! Do you know anyone personally who's been murdered? Granted, I hadn't spoke to Adam since we broke up, but still. It's all still extremely surreal. To top it all off, I found out on my birthday.

Predictions/wishes for 2009:

*Rachel and Doug venture out of the USA Proper.

*In December we will still be painting some portion of our new house, probably trim.

*A smaller everything. I recently bought a treadmill that I love and am excited about. OK, mostly I'm just excited that I no longer have to worry about farting while running.

*Participation in the Tulsa Run this year. (Anyone want to join me?)

*One of my brothers finally scores higher on the ACT than me.

*We acquire a new dog. Doug wants one.

*Doug doesn't follow the oral surgeon's advice and gets dry socket when he gets his wisdom teeth taken out.

Drama dog

2008-12-06T10:19:00.000-08:00

By now most of you have probably seen the startling video of my dog:

Good news. There's a 97% change that it's "just" a petit mal epileptic seizure! It won't shorten her lifespan and the treatment is free. Dim the lights for her and let her wait it out on her own unless she wants comfort.

We now have negative net worth

2008-11-14T17:24:00.000-08:00

May I present...

our first home!

I'm excited to announce that our new house came with its very own garden gnome:

Those crazy Germans, huh? No seriously, the seller was born in Kiel!

I'm also very happy that I can put myself on exhibition while taking a shower:

See the rest here.

Can I Has More Shoes?

2008-11-03T19:51:00.000-08:00

It's a very good thing that we're moving in less than two weeks because, as you can see, my shoes have nowhere else to go!

The Road to Homelessness

2008-11-01T10:11:00.000-07:00

With our quickly approaching November 14 close date, we gave our thirty day notice to vacate notice to our current moderately craptacular apartments. If things go perfectly, and they won't, we will have a whole week to paint and another whole week to move into our house. And the timing is nice because every time I move it seems like I have a tiny 48 hour window to do it in. But in my world, things never go as planned. My fear is that something will go wrong between now and closing and we will be homeless for a little while. And homelessness at this point probably means moving in with my dear in-laws. I love them dearly, but they definitely don't share the same love for sleeping in until noon on Saturdays or lounging around in just a T-shirt and undies for the better part of all time spent at home. Relearning how to wear clothes all day long would be difficult.

In other news, the work spectacle continues and might continue for another two years. But it hasn't been too bad because I work with such great people.

I went trick-or-treating with my nieces and nephews last night. And I carried new baby Anna in a sling the entire time. I like that experience a little too much.

I need a new back bumper. I had my very first actual collision Wednesday. I was backing out of the parking space at work and into a non-moving vehicle just sitting there. In my defense, he wasn't in a parking space, he had just pulled up behind my car. What's horrible is that I wasn't on the phone, I wasn't messing with my iPod, I LOOKED, but I just completely didn't see it! And that can only mean that all of this recent stress is making me reverse hallucinate things.

Neil Diamond

2008-10-21T10:19:00.000-07:00

Since childhood, my father and I have had the pleasurable habit of changing the lyrics of our favorite songs. This was usually done while driving and, as I remember, typically with my mother shaking her head disapprovingly in our general direction.

Not much has changed. Over the years, I have attempted my craft with numerous people, most of them hostage in my passenger seat. However, it seems as though only Doug and my father share this hobby with the same intensity as me. Doug has been changing lyrics since childhood, too. And what better way to spend an afternoon than taking a drive with your husband while singing our special rendition of Tom Petty's lullaby Freeballin'?

Some of my song renditions have been replayed in my head so often that I occasionally forget the real lyrics. I fear that this will not serve me well tonight. I am going to the Neil Diamond concert with my mother-in-law who is quite a bit more prim and proper than I. It's going to take every ounce of strength to remember that the lyrics are really "Sweet Caroline" and not "Sweet Milky Thighs."

The Not a Short Sell Transaction Homebuying Saga, Part II

2008-10-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

It looks like we're actually inching closer to home ownership. On Thursday, all manner of inspections were performed and there were only tiny minor things that need to be repaired.

I went across town for a pedicure yesterday and figured that since the house was only 2 1/2 miles away, I would just drive by it to see if there was a sold sign up yet. There is.

The Not a Short Sell Transaction Homebuying Saga, Part I

2008-10-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

This was only our second Sunday to look at houses with a competent Realtor instead of trying to get a feel for neighborhoods and houses on our own. And hark! we found another house yesterday (Sunday), put in an offer today at 6:30 and got a counteroffer at 8:15. So, we're nearly in contract again.

And technically, we have two contracts now. We can't get the Realtor on the short sell house to call us back. It's been two weeks. Ridiculous! It's possible we might have to eat $500 of earnest money we weren't even supposed to pay on a short sell we didn't know what a short sell until after we signed the contract, but whatever. This house has far less work that needs to be done to it and there is no chance a car could run off of the turnpike and hit us now.

Keep your fingers crossed this time!

The Homebuying Saga, Part VI (The End?)

2008-10-04T19:58:00.000-07:00

You know when you're bidding on a super awesome item on eBay and some twerp outbids you in the last 20 seconds? That's basically what just happened with the house we had a contract on. Another party with another Realtor submitted a contract "slightly higher" than ours. So, unless Countrywide quickly develops a sense of morals and lets us purchase the house because we've had a contract for the longest amount of, we do not have a house. Sad, but it's just a house.

The sucky part is that we cannot get out of the contract until Countrywide OFFICIALLY declines our bid/offer. And who knows how long that could be since we've already been waiting since July 16.

We go house hunting with another Realtor tomorrow. This one actually has experience and has been in the business for nearly 20 years.

Meet my newest niece

2008-09-06T15:01:00.000-07:00

~~There's STILL no name, but~~ Here's the newest baby girl member of the Reynolds clan, Anna Grace. Born September 6 at around 5:45 am. 9 pounds, 1 ounce. And a super cute yawner.

He Gets Around

2008-09-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

So I'm at a restaurant with my newish friend Melody tonight and I start in with some of my favorite tales of "silly men dated/horrible dates endured." Because that's what we girls DO when you boys aren't around. Or at least that's what I do because I have a few outlandish tales.

I'm nearing the end of the one that starts "I met him in a college class for teachers. At the time, he wanted to be a middle school Social Studies teacher" and ends with "and he said "there IS no state called West Virginia.'" I go on to tell her that he didn't become a teacher because he failed to pass all of the certification exams and that, last I heard, he was in a Master's degree program doing some psychology program.

And that's when I saw the familiar knowing eye. Melody furrows her brows and says, "Wait, is he like way tall and did he lose a bunch of weight at some point?"

Oy!

For those keeping track, this is the second girl I have befriended in the last 18 months that went on a date with this guy. This town isn't THAT small. But spilling Dr. Pepper on my jeans on a first date remains funny, so I will continue to tell the tale.

Honestly, no

2008-09-02T20:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes research companies ask disturbing questions in their surveys:

Can a picture give me vertigo?

2008-09-01T20:06:00.001-07:00

Originally uploaded by sundae1888

It's certainly not anywhere near 100% official, but Dad's in the works to fulfill a lifelong dream to hike Grand Canyon National Park. We had reservations in the summer of 2001, but at that time I was still weak from an illness the year before so we canceled it. I've listened to him fantasize about this trek since about the age of 11.

I'm currently reading up on the matter because I haven't the faintest idea how to hike. Like at all. Just reading the description of the rest-step confuses the heck outta me.

Funny enough, I have faith that I can walk 15 miles in two days. Walking/running is my favorite form of cardio. However, carrying 35 pounds on my back at 4300 ft. in June in the desert just doesn't seem possible at this point.

As I look at this picture of the South Kaibab Trail all I can possibly think is that I'm going to die.

The Homebuying Saga, Part V

2008-09-01T18:00:00.000-07:00

(Oops, I thought I posted this MUCH earlier than now.)

Friday, August 8, 16:40:

Me [answering my cell from a deep sleep, completely stoned out of my mind on Vicodin from an ear infection] : Heeellllo, Sheila.

Sheila [co-worker]: Hey, you got a fax from someone. I think it might be your Realtor lady and I thought you might want to know even though you're home sick.

Me: Thank you for calling and telling me.
~~~~~
Moments later:

Me: So like, we got a fax from the Realtor and I think you should call her because I don't think I'm quite in the house frame of mind right now.

Doug: Ok, I'll call. [Even though he's at work and has 50,000 things to do. Such a sweet husband.]

5 minutes later:

Doug: So, how are you feeling?

Me: Not good [5 more minutes of conversation], but wait, just tell me what happened with the Realtor.

Doug: OH that. Well, she said that an appraiser from Countrywide came to the house and said that our offer is a fair offer. So, things are moving forward right now. We just might have to close a few days after our original close date.

And now, not quite in limbo. It's not exactly clear to me how the 2^nd mortgage holder will fair in this deal. But I'm done with all of the details. As of now we're potentially going to be living in a real live house September 30. And I'll rest on that for now.

The Annoyance Factor

Two things have really annoyed me about explaining this whole ordeal to people:

1. There have been many people to whom I have explained what a short sell is to and then 5 minutes later I'll hear them talking to someone else and they'll say something like, "Yeah, but it's a short sell, so that means the mortgage company trying to rush through things in a short amount of time."

No. And it's been like 6 people.

2. Many people don't understand the fact that the mortgage company's rules supersede the contract made between us and the seller. "But they HAVE to sell you the house because you have a contract with the seller."

Not exactly.

Airing Eggy Grievances

2008-08-14T17:08:00.000-07:00

I feel I am finally coming out of my lack of blogging funk. I swear this apartment has changed my outlook on life. The appliances and fixtures are so drab, the space too tiny for two. And we can hear every footstep of the person above us thanks to the innovation of wooden support beams. I will be so joyful in a place of our own! In saying so, I find myself upon blog inspiration almost daily. Apartment funk nearly over!

Do you remember moments as a child when you discovered that that way your family does something isn't the ONLY way to do something? Or something you take for granted in your daily routine is completely different for someone else? For example, as a child I remember showering at sleepovers and being completely appalled by the lack of water pressure in every friend's shower. (My dad has one of those showerheads that mixes air with the water, giving the impression of a torpedo ripping the skin off of your body.) When I asked my friends if leaving soap in their hair when they rinsed off bothered them, I was informed that this wasn't an issue. That there was nothing wrong with their water. And to them, the water was completely normal. I was astonished that they could live every day of their life with something so crappy and not even realize how crappy is was.

During this first year of marriage, I am amazed at all of the everyday things Doug and I do so different. He hates that I barricade the shower corners so that there isn't a breeze:

I've tried really hard to remember to move it, but I just cannot shower with a cold breeze flowing on me.

And what absolutely gets under my skin?

Eggs.

The way his family did it:

1. Open egg carton.
2. Crack egg you wish to cook.
3. Put empty eggshell back in egg carton, allowing potential pathogens to grow.
4. When all eggs are used, throw container away.

WRONG!!!!!

How it SHOULD be:

1. Open egg carton.
2. Crack egg you wish to cook.
3. Immediately throw away eggshell because it's nasty.
4. When all eggs are used, throw away empty container.

Thankfully, he was willing to curb this habit.

But I am very curious if any of your families left the shells in the carton or not.

The Homebuying Saga, Part IV

2008-08-11T12:20:00.000-07:00

Thursday, July 24:

I get a fax at work from the Realtor telling me to give her a call. She says that GMAC is the 2^nd mortgage holder and that Countrywide won't be losing any money on the contract price. She tells me that Countrywide will get a final answer back to us within 30 days. I suppose GMAC and Countrywide are going to battle it out over the next month to decide who loses the money and if they'll both accept the terms of the short sell. Whatever. Still in limbo.

The Homebuying Saga, Part III

2008-08-11T10:16:00.000-07:00

Thursday, July 17:

Our lender calls us to tell us that we've been pre-approved on their end of things. She's just waiting to hear final word back from the PMI company. (And we're so close to not needing to pay that, too. Oh well.) Everything is happyhappyhappy and then, later in the morning, this happens when my phone rings:

Me: Hi there. How are you?

Realtor: Well, not so great. Do you have a minute?

Me: Uh-oh. Yeah. What's going on?

Realtor: Well, the seller's lender did not accept the short sell for the contract amount of "$400,000." And we didn't know [before you signed the contract] what they would or wouldn't accept because we have to have a signed contract into them before they will tell us what they will accept. But we do know that they would accept the short sell at "$410,000."

Me: And the contract price of "$410,000" would STILL a short sell?

Realtor: Yes. Your options at this point are to walk away or raise your contract $10,000 so that Countrywide will accept the short sell contract.

Me: I'll talk to Doug and I'll give you a call back. He should be out of class around noon.

Around noon:

Doug: [LOUD sigh] I'd say that at $10,000 more we definitely have to walk away.

Me: I know. I agree. This really sucks.

Around 1:00:

Me: I talked to Doug and unfortunately we're going to have to walk away at this point.

Realtor: I thought so. I don't blame you. I would do the same thing on this house. Well, let's make arrangements for me to give you back your earnest money.

Around 3:00:

Realtor: Rachel, I have some news. I called Countrywide back and talked to another person who plugged the contract amount in her computer and it spit back a no answer to the short sell. But I told her, look, this contract amount IS a good deal comparing it with recent sells in the neighborhood. She is going to re-review the case and get back to us by the end of next week.

Me: Oh, that's good. I mean, it's great that you were able to speak to someone who's not a drone just staring at the computer answer and saying no.

By the end of the day, we're in limbo. Waiting on a giant monster mega company to essentially give us a free $10,000-25,000.

The Homebuying Saga, Part II

2008-07-22T17:03:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, July 15: I make my way to the credit union to fill out and sign additional paperwork for the mortgage application we already submitted two weeks ago. After a relatively clean blood-letting process, I go back to work. I call the Realtor who tells me she is drafting the contract and will fax it my way when she's finished. She tells me that she needs to have the contract signed within 48 hours so that she can fax said contract to the seller's lender. I question her on this point in a future conversation later in the day. It just sounded out of the ordinary to me. She assures me that "in this circumstance it is a common procedure." I ponder exactly what she might mean and brush it off. Whatever. We're going to sign a contract, right? Our parents and the company's retired lawyer also review the contract and put in their expertise.

Wednesday, July 16: After some changes are made to the contract, I make arrangements for Doug (still at school 100 miles away remember) to fax his signed copy of the contract to me and later to meet with the Realtor to sign the contract with her.

And this is the exact our American Dream begins to droop.

The Realtor tells me, "Now, I know you were questioning me as to why I needed to have the contract within a certain period of time. When you asked, I wasn't sure what I could legally disclose to you, but now I know for sure after speaking to the seller's lender. I just need you to know that this contract will be a short sell negotiation." My heart immediately sank. And then plunged when I found out that the first mortgage on the house is with Countrywide. I have listened to enough Clark Howard and Dave Ramsey to immediately know what we are up against. For those of you not interested in reading past the muckity muck on Wikipedia, here's our situation with completely fantasized numbers.

The seller owes $500,000 on her house, a first and second mortgage. Let's assume that in tip top shape, the house is also worth $500,000. (In all actuality, the house needs an estimated $5000 worth of paint, carpet, baseboards, and an outside plank). She is behind on her payments a few months. Behind enough that her lender, Countrywide, is threatening foreclosure. So, the seller (or the Realtor) asks Countrywide if they would let her out of the mortgage if she finds a buyer for the home (us!) in lieu of foreclosing on her and messing up her credit for many years. The problem is that no one will buy her house for the $500,000 that she owes on it. She's tried selling it for nearly a year on and off. There are people who will buy it for $450,000, though (us!). So, the seller is asking Countrywide if they take a $50,000 loss and pretty please not foreclose on her. Why would the bank agree to lose $50,000? Well, it costs an AVERAGE of $70,000 per house to take it through the foreclosure process. So, if the lender goes through foreclosure they will lose $70,000 and have a house on their hands that they aren't really able to take care of. Plus, the house usually just sits there, losing value, waiting for a buyer. If they accept our contract of $450,000, they will still lose $50,000. But it's out of their hands and a relatively clean transaction. In our case with our numbers, we know that they'll lose at least $10,000, but probably not more than $20,000.

Now, back to the saga.

Still Wednesday, July 16:

I meet the Realtor at 5:30 at her office and sign the contract. The seller hasn't signed the contract yet and I want a copy of it, so the seller is called into the office and signs. So, in an odd turn of events, I meet the seller before closing. Apparently, that doesn't happen a lot. And I figure that's because it could be a very awkward situation if we bickered on and on during contract negotiations. She's a very nice woman who wants to move back east. Maybe back to the Bronx or start anew in the Carolinas. She's very thankful and appreciative that we're getting her out of a mess. I could definitely see past the gentle smiles on this woman's face. She's extremely stressed and desperate. Thankfully, it wasn't awkward at all.

Contract signed, copies handed out. All is well...for tonight.

The Homebuying Saga, Part I

2008-07-20T14:10:00.000-07:00

It has been an extremely emotional and hectic week. I am bound to forget all of the minute details of what has occurred within the next month, so this is mainly for my benefit.

Doug and I had few intentions of purchasing our first home until around November or so of this year. We have, however, done tons of research into the areas we want to buy. Thank God for the Internet! In addition to web-based research, I am quite certain we have driven around every damn neighborhood in south Tulsa, Broken Arrow, Jenks, Bixby, Glenpool, Kiefer, and even some parts of Sapulpa. We started hitting random open houses and requesting showings about two weeks ago. And initially, it was just to get an idea of what we want/don't want. Until this past Sunday. Let me back up a bit.

Sometime around the beginning of June:

We're driving around a really nice, newer, clean neighborhood that looks to be just out of our price range. We call about one of the smaller homes up for sale in the neighborhood. The Realtor told us that she was selling the house for $15,000 more than our price ceiling, but that she is a motivated seller. After we hung up the phone, Doug and I looked at each other and one of us said, "Motivated, huh? Is she like, I dunno, $40,000 motivated?" We laughed and didn't give it much thought. Until...

Sunday, July 13:

We had a 13:00 appointment to see a home in Broken Arrow and hit an open house at 14:00. We spend the next three hours driving around Broken Arrow, visiting one more open house. We come back to our apartment. Depressed and despondent, Doug logs onto our favorite real estate search site and finds that the $15,000 above our price range house is from the beginning of June is now AT our price ceiling. It is now 18:00 and Doug had already packed up to go back to Oklahoma City (he's finishing his Master's Degree at OU). We call the Realtor. At 18:45 we are IN the house looking around. We love it! It needs some work: new carpet, new baseboards, paint, a few exterior planks and eventually some cabinet/counter/back splash/vanity work. But it is in a great location for us and the neighborhood has extremely low crime and looks great.

Monday, July 14: Doug has returned to Oklahoma City and the parents are called in for backup. We feel very fortunate to have parents who know a great deal about houses. At 18:00, my parents arrive and check things out. At 18:30, Doug's brother and father arrive to look things over. Doug's brother does AC work for a living and so he's able to really check things out. It's unanimous! All of them agree that the house is just a little bit ugly on the inside and a tiny bit on the outside but that a bit of sweat equity will turn it into our palace should we choose to proceed. Two hours later I'm on the phone with Doug telling him that his father looked me straight in the eyes and said, "If I were you I would have already put in an offer on this house." We decide that 8:30 p.m. is a perfectly reasonable time to make an offer on a house. So, Doug calls the Realtor and makes an offer. Minutes later he calls me and tells me that we have a deal, for $5000 less than she was asking. Plus a washer and dryer.

Begin vomiting in 3...2..1...

2008-07-14T18:47:00.000-07:00

It's been way too long. We've been busy. And I'm not really sure just how this happened so quickly. What I do know is that within the last 24 hours we went from driving around neighborhoods in south Tulsa to making an offer on a home. Excessive nervousness!

Allergy meds, bottled water, and, hmmm...could I be pregnant?

2008-05-23T20:59:00.000-07:00

The O.C.: Season 3: Disc 5 (2005).

Clerks II (2006) = 8/10. I loved this! I think I might have liked it more than the first one. However, we watched this with my brothers and Geoff's girlfriend, Jennifer. At least now I won't have to explain to them what a donkey show is when they are a tad older.

As a rule/semi-pact to myself, I try to never buy items in the checkout lane at stores. These little items are strategically placed to tempt (candy, yum!), guilt (I already read half of the magazine, now I have to buy it), or convenience (oh! I forgot I do need a Tide pen) us into buying junk we don't need. Yet, I always make sure I browse through the items in the lane.

Hands down, Walgreens beats every other store with their hearty selection of impulse items. Every time I make a trip to Walgreens, there is one impulse item that continually confuses me: a pregnancy test. Just WHO exactly goes in there to pick up her photos and stands in line looking at the generic pregnancy test thinking, "Ya know, I guess I am a little late. Perhaps I should buy one"????

No no! Everyone I know who suspected she was expecting immediately rushes to the nearest pee stick vendor, and, in addition to purchasing two pregnancy tests (just in case the first one is broken, ya know) also buys 1-2 additional items to make it look like the prospect of a baby is just as casual as purchasing Peanut Butter M&M'S. The reason for the trip is always for the pregnancy test, and I thought never simply a passive purchase or afterthought. But obviously I'm wrong since it's in the impulse lane.

Dead Bodies & Dirrty Rooms, or The Anniversary Weekend

2008-05-17T20:40:00.000-07:00

The Hottie and the Nottie (2008) = 0.5/10. Just don't. I'm sorry I did, but honestly knew it was going to be that bad.

27 Dresses (2008) = 7/10. See, this is just the type of romantic comedy that appeals to me. Good girl fun. I have never been a bridesmaid.

The O.C.: Season 3: Disc 4 (2005).

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) = 8/10. A classic that I had never seen before. I laughed a lot.

The O.C.: Season 3: Disc 3 (2005).

Juno (2007) = 7.5/10. Yes it was really funny, but I think everyone talked this up to me so much that I was a little letdown.

This past weekend Doug surprised me by taking me to the Arcadian Inn Bed & Breakfast in Edmond. And by surprised, I mean I told him "plan SOMETHING" and he did. I like planning things, but Doug doesn't like surprises.

While relaxing at the B&B, we went to the Omniplex where we saw many dead bodies at Our Body: The Universe Within. It was THE coolest thing ever! When I told a friend what we were going to see for our anniversary, she gave me a blank stare and said, "Dead bodies- completely creepy and totally NOT a romantic anniversary." But we had fun and really enjoyed it. That's all that matters.

This was our first technical stay at a Bed & Breakfast. And let me just say, IF you ever stay at a B&B, AVOID reading any portion of the guest book left in your room. When we arrived, I nearly immediately cooped myself in the closet, er, bathroom...hmm...water closet and began reading the guest log. I mean, what else is there to do in such close quarters? And what I read disgusted me.

Let me back up a bit.

Ok, say you're staying in an average hotel. Let's say the Marriott. Of all the guest staying at the Marriott, I would guess 40% would be business travelers, 40% vacationers, 18% miscellaneous (like in town for a quick family visit or a funeral or wedding or something), and 2% people having affairs. So, my guess is that in any given hotel room there is an average amount of sex going occurring. Probably not any more or less than, say, the apartments adjacent to me. Or maybe slightly higher than average because people are away from their homes and might pay attention to each other more. To sum that up, my belief is that there is a slightly above average amount of sex going on in the average hotel room.

But what about a B&B?

I never gave much thought to any of it until I started reading this guest book. There must have been 100 entries in this book dating back only to two years ago. Of those 100 or so entries, I read only ONE that was a mother/daughter seeing a concert or ballet or something for the weekend. The REST of the entries were either people celebrating their wedding night/honeymoon, anniversary, or couples getting away before the imminent arrival of a baby.

Some of my favorite entries said things like:

"...the whole room was just a perfect setting for romance..."

"...much needed relaxation..."

"...we were able to reconnect again for the first time in a long time..."

Translation to all of these:

"We had really good sex right here in this room. Thanks!"

But the absolute creepiest TWO:

"...we hope to return and show you the child we hopefully created during this weekend..."

and

"...third visit...our first child was made here..."

I finished up in the bathroom and emerged from the closet with a disgusted look on my face. When Doug asked me what was wrong, I told him not to read the guest book and that I would avoid sitting on the couch or touching the walls.

We slept quite soundly both nights, but I wouldn't dare want to shine a black light in there.

I think I might want to stick to average sex rooms from now on. They're cheaper anyway.

Mii (amore) on Wii

2008-05-07T21:05:00.000-07:00

Because Doug was the second customer at the new Glenpool Wal-Mart (the band played for the opening), he was able to score a much coveted Wii. Ahh, the joys of being debt-free and having the ability to make planned impulse purchases. Anyway, I think his Mii is an extremely accurate representation of him. Let's compare:

We laughed for quite a bit. My Mii isn't nearly as accurate.

Another Year, Another Star Wars Day...

2008-05-04T20:34:00.000-07:00

Ratatouille (2007) = 7/10. It was good, but I think I built it up too much in my mind. I wonder how many kids watched this and then tried to make friends with a rat.

The O.C.: Season 3: Disc 2 (2005).

North and South: Book 3 (1994) = 3.5/10. I mean, they kill everyone off and it wasn't even good acting. But I am surprised they said "the N word" on TV as recently as 1994.

The O.C.: Season 3: Disc 1 (2005).

Enchanted (2007) = 8.5/10. This was such a cute Disney mash up. It was fun to have my head in the clouds for a few hours. And the references to a lot of the other Disney movies was fun to notice.

Babel (2006) = 6.75/10. Maybe I just didn't get it. I dunno, I like intertwining stories but it was mostly just not that interesting.

The happenings:

* Because we were merely five minutes early to the Rush concert in OKC last Saturday due to a slight parking garage issue, I wasn't able to fully appreciate the true gift handed to me. Brother Geoff must be have been one of ten total teens in the crowd. My guess is that Geoff fell in love with Rush after he watched this drum lesson video. Regardless, I was privileged to sit amongst average middle-aged people who looked like this...

and the other variety of Rush fan, those with long, uncombed hair, multiple tattoos, rotting teeth (maybe that's just because it's Oklahoma), acne-pocked face, and a girlfriend/wife wearing too much blue eyeshadow. The reward came when lights and lasers panned the audience. These guys would randomly stand up from their chairs and do a little Beavis and Butthead metal dance. Fine when you're 16, weird when you're 56. It made it worth going to a concert of a group I didn't know.

*I work for a telephone company and yet Doug and me officially do not have land line telephone service. We're finally up to speed with many others. This makes me a hypocrite, I suppose.

*Last night I learned that I cannot make baklava. The layers wouldn't stick together so everything was one big burnt nut mess when it came out of the oven. And then when I was making the syrup, I looked away for a few seconds and the syrup boiled over. Which wouldn't be a big deal except it was one jar of honey + sugar + water. And judging by the honey river flowing underneath the stove top, honey was all that boiled over the top. I was going to make this sweet treat for a book club meeting, but now that I know I can't make it, I might just have to settle for something with fig or dates. Or...perhaps just BUY some baklava. Giselle will never know the difference. :)

*Happy Star Wars Day again - May the 4^th be with you.

*And oh yeah! Tomorrow I will have been a married woman for a year. It's gone by so fast.

Soak me ice now before I develop full-blown baby fever!

2008-04-20T19:52:00.000-07:00

Mike Birbiglia: What I Should Have Said Was Nothing: Tales From My Secret Public Journal (2007) = 6.5/10. He has his moments, but overall he seems new and a little awkward. But I love his last name.

The O.C.: Season 2: Disc 7 (2004).

King Corn (2007) = 7/10. A marvelous first documentary. I was a little confused at some points. Like I wasn't really clear exactly WHY they wanted to plant corn in the first place or how they supported themselves, but the story-telling process was great. Especially the end. I don't understand why the public library has this DVD before netflix and Blockbuster. But I do know that after Fast Food Nation (the book) and a few other things that are in my life, it's getting harder and harder for me to eat anything without being disgusted.

The O.C.: Season 2: Disc 6 (2004).

Copying Beethoven (2006) = 6/10. A Doug movie. It was alright, but not quite my cup of tea.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007) = 9/10. SUPER good! I actually didn't know the plotline of this so I was completely shocked at multiple points.

No Reservations (2007) = 4/10. This should have been much funnier than it actually was. Abigail Breslin is really growing on me, though.

Sydney White (2007) = 6.5/10. Too cute! I didn't actually get that it was a parody of Snow White until I watched the special features. Further proof that I am a living specimen of one of the 7 dorks.

I Am Legend (2007) = 7/10. I was FORCED to watch this at a high school band party. It wasn't bad, though. I mean, I could watch Will Smith run on a treadmill and do chin ups all day long.

The Heartbreak Kid (2007) = 6/10. I hadn't seen the original. But this reminds me of a few friends/acquaintances who married some douche quickly and then wondered why their marriage sucks.

Bugsy (1991) = 6/10. This was obviously a Doug's choice movie. I was pretty bored. Action/mob movies usually do bore me, though.

Stranger than Fiction (2006) = 7.5/10. I really liked it!

The O.C.: Season 2: Disc 5 (2004).

Caddyshack (1980) = 5/10. Can you believe I had never seen this? I didn't enjoy it much but I can't put it at less than 5 because that would put it in the "do not like" range. And you just can't do that with a "classic."

I went with my sister-in-law Wednesday morning for her 19 week pregnancy checkup and wow, what an exhilarating experience!

It's possible I may have seen my brothers during an ultrasound visit (I certainly remember my mother having to drink 40 ounces of water before the appointment), but to me, that doesn't really count. I was 10. Or 11.

I sat there with Gretchen's baby the third on my lap and I was completely mesmerized by the images of the tiny growing life inside. The doctor was able to confirm it was a girl, just what they need for a sex-balanced family. It will make the bedroom situation easier. Two girls, two boys. I didn't cry, but I did tear up a bit.

After the appointment, Gretchen told me, "See I just think the more you come to these, the less anxious you'll be when it's your turn."

How little she knows me sometimes!

And "my turn?" Like having a baby is akin to a ride on a swing or something.

This appointment came one day after my friends Amy and Belinda sent me new pictures of their adorable tots.

Doug and I are definitely not ready.

But I'm completely shocked that those "I want a baby NOW" feelings are beginning to appear so early in my marriage. I frighten myself.

Oh, I would really appreciate a Grand Central invite from someone. Anyone.

But what I really want to do is SING!

2008-04-10T12:36:00.000-07:00

Dan in Real Life (2007) = 6/10. Thanks, Geoff. You told me this movie sucked, but it didn't. But I couldn't stop thinking about how you said it sucked so it actually DID suck for me. And of course you didn't like it, you're 17!

The O.C.: Season 2: Disc 4 (2004). No more lesbian action. Boo...

The O.C.: Season 2: Disc 3 (2004). Now that there's lesbian action involved, Doug has no problem with me watching these on the big TV.

No Country for Old Men (2007) = 8.75/10. Doug and I spent a good while trying to figure this one out. And we're still really unsure about many aspects. I'm sure there's a masterpiece in there somewhere, but I'm not smart enough to figure it out. Scouring the imdb.com message boards didn't help. Any movie that generates that much conversation between two people gets high marks from me.

King of the Hill: Season 1: Disc 1 (1997).

I'm not dead. I'm not. I'm just really busy with life and work and am apparently only doing well with one of my goals for the year. Watching movies. Not doing so well with the whole blogging more frequently one.

Doug and I decided that New Orleans was too big of a city to conquer for the time we had during spring break. Which was three weeks ago, I know. Instead, we ventured to Dallas for 4 nights. We shopped at the Galleria, saw my aunt, uncle, and cousins who live north of Fort Worth, walked Dealey Plaza and The Sixth Flo or Museum, chuckled at Medieval Times, went to the Dallas Zoo, and had the best (and most expensive) steak ever (the first time I didn't have to use A1 Sauce!) at The Butcher Shop. And we got to stay at a pretty ok hotel for $40/night. Still addicted to Priceline. Especially knowing how to work the system.

A few days after we got back:

Rachel: So what was your high from our mini-vacation? Like what did you enjoy the most?

Doug: [thinks for a moment] I really liked the trip down there and back.

Rachel: [puzzled] You mean...the...driving down there and back up here? Are you serious? You hate driving!

Doug: Sure, but we got to listen to tunes on your iPod and sing together. Just us. I like doing that.

Rachel: Well, now I feel kinda bad that my favorite thing about the trip was eating a gigantic steak and not a particular moment with you, but....singing....driving? I totally could have saved us like $600 if that's all you really wanted to do.

2008-03-11T12:53:00.000-07:00

American Experience: New Orleans (2007) = 6/10. Ahhh, Public television. I've now watched two documentaries about New Orleans and they've convinced me that there's just too much to do there for our time allotted, so we're going somewhere else.

The O.C.: Season 2: Disc 2 (2004).

Crank (2006) = 6.5/10. Very much a guy movie, but I liked it.

The O.C.: Season 2: Disc 1 (2004).

So, by now I'm sure you've all heard or read about State Representatives Sally Kern making anti-gay remarks. If not, take three minutes and sicken yourself here.

I'm not even going to spend time discussing her opinion of gays.

Here's what really confuses me. She goes into how government schools are "going after children as young as two years of age...to try to teach them that the homosexual lifestyle is an acceptable lifestyle."

Now, keep in mind that woman herself taught for nearly twenty years. Did she honestly believe that the teachers next door sat around with some mastermind "evil plan" to teach "the homosexual lifestyle" for all or even some of those twenty years?

I can tell you from experience, once being a teacher myself, being the daughter of two teachers, and now the wife of a teacher, even if that was their plan, there's just not enough time.

I'm just trying to picture my father up at the white board:

"Yes kids, that's an improper fraction...oh and don't forget, the only way IS gay."

Or my husband teaching a band class:

"This week we're only playing pieces by [insert name of a classical musical artist who is/was gay (I can't actually name any)] because gay musicians are the only good musicians. So you should be gay, too."

And really, if you thought your fellow teachers were doing this gay indoctrination thing, how on earth could you MORALLY continue to work in an environment that contradicts your beliefs so strongly?

All I can do is laugh.

My Lingerie Walk of Shame (Just Another Statistic)

2008-02-29T21:25:00.000-08:00

The Simpsons Movie (2007) = 7/10. Ha-ha. Ha-ha. Ha-ha. I laughed at the "doodle" bit the most.

The Jane Austen Book Club (2007) = 7.5/10. Great chick flick. I haven't read a lick of Austen, though. I need to remedy that...in my 30s.

Globe Trekker: New Orleans (2004) = 7.5/10. It's definitely turned me on for a spring break trip. I just need to convince the family to make reservations now...

El Laberinto del fauno (Pan's Labyrinth) (2006) = 8/10. I am a very literal person so this one did not set well with me. And I feel like such an idiot because the whole movie I was thinking "ok, where's this Pan person?" I suppose I should be better educated on the Greek gods. And the graphic violence...holy cow! I nearly have PTSD from watching Capitain turn into a fish mouth. Just replaying it in my mind over and over.... Way cool cinematography.

The O.C.: Season 1: Disc 7 (2003).

"Always wear clean underwear..."

So there I was in the minor emergency center yesterday evening, walking down the hall for a chest X-ray to rule out pneumonia. My minor nagging 3-day fever had developed into a high fever that bordered on needing serious medical attention. The ibuprofen wasn't working. I was told to put my bra and shirt in this CLEAR plastic draw bag they gave me and carry it with me to the X-ray room. I tried to hide my disgusting bra between my shirt, but that worked for all of three seconds. This particular offensive bra has little balls of lint permanently intertwined in the white lining. And because it's so old and white, it looks horribly filthy.

Thank God only the X-ray technician saw my super gross bra.

Even though I hate shopping for clothes, I must make a commitment to buy myself some new bras. Pronto!

Results: After an X-ray, having a 4-inch (no joke) flexible cotton swab stuck up my nose, crying at work because my fever was so high and I was nearly hallucinating, and then being driven to the minor emergency by a gracious co-worker, I just have flu. I am but another statistic.

I even got a flu shot this year.

Doug has flu, too.

As he says, "sharing is caring."

A Sister's Pride

2008-02-22T15:05:00.000-08:00

The O.C.: Season 1: Disc 6 (2003).

The O.C.: Season 1: Disc 5 (2003).

The brothers have made me a proud sister the past week.

Geoffrey, still just a sophomore, managed to raise his overall ACT score by 5 points. Which is super awesome...well, as long as it stays lower than what mine was.

Last weekend, Joshua played in an honor band. I didn't really get how hard this particular honor band, All-District NBDA was to make for schools Glenpool that don't have specialized band classes. ALL of the schools in the northeast region of Oklahoma had the opportunity to try out. That includes the Jenks snobs and the Union brats. And apparently the Bartlesville band is really well-funded. And what did Josh get? 1^st Chair Flute. That's what. Josh was also the only Glenpool student in this particular band.

Can you spot his red hair?:

Sexy Words On V-day

2008-02-19T13:02:00.000-08:00

The O.C.: Season 1: Disc 4 (2003).

The O.C.: Season 1: Disc 3 (2003).

Good Luck Chuck (2007) = 5.5/10. It wasn't nearly as bad as Best Week Ever made it out to be. In fact, we both liked it a little. Plus, lots of boobs.

In the Land of Women (2007) = 6.5/10. I can't imagine what it would be like to romantically kiss two generations of a family. A little slow but I like these kind of stories.

The O.C.: Season 1: Disc 2 (2003).

Johnson Family Vacation (2004) = 1/10. Just don't.

Arctic Tale (2007) = 7/10. Really interesting footage of arctic animals. Really horrible script read by Queen Latifah.

The Red Violin (1998) = 7/10. I like interweaving tales or tales of the history of things.

Apocalypto (2006) = 9.5/10. An amazing action movie. And I don't like action movies. It was really cool to watch this one on a Blu-Ray player. Being able to freeze fight scenes and see blood spatter usually doesn't appeal to me, but it did on this movie.

The Ex (2007) = 5.5/10. I liked it, but just barely. I do love Jason Bateman, though.

License to Wed (2007) = 3.5/10. The idea was so good. The execution...not so much.

Jim Gaffigan: Beyond the Pale (2006) = 8/10. His high-pitched voice just annoys me at times, but I love that he spent nearly an hour making jokes about food.

Evening (2007) = 6.5/10. A little slow but overall a really good love story.

Ahhh...that movie list looks much better.

We celebrated V-day the night before V-day because Doug thought he had to drive to Norman for a class meeting with his professor. He ended up meeting with the professor online, so V-day was now free. And what did we do? We ended up at Wild Oats/Whole Foods. Me wearing my gifted leather jacket. I'm sure that pissed off some of the hippies that work and shop there.

Doug has this habit of purchasing a couple of specific items on impulse at any grocery store in search of something much better than he's currently eating. Meaning...we generally spend oodles of time in front of the bottles of tea and cheese so he can find BETTER tea and cheese than the tasty tea and cheese he already has. He pensively reads and rereads each label. 5-10 minutes later he finally picks something. Nearly immediately after we get in the car, he tastes what he thinks will be his newfound loved food item. He almost always gags 2 seconds later. I am amused by these cheap experiments.

V-day's grocery experiment was beef jerky. At an organic store.

His review of the jerky went like this:

OH [flapping arms].... my god!...It tastes like I licked a hobo.

In other amusing news, my parents took us to Zio's for a "banquet" hosted in our honor at the end of last month. Dad said we were celebrating 9 months of marriage. More specifically, 9 months of pregnancy-free marriage.

"Now I know for sure that you got married because you wanted to, not because you had to."

Any excuse for a free meal works for us.

I'm ready for spring.

It's been a while, but I have little to say

2008-01-20T15:47:00.000-08:00

Closing Escrow (2007) = 2.5/10. SOOO boring. Poor Doug. Every time I chose a movie for us to watch together, it ends up being a dud. Pretty soon I might not choose any of the movies we see together.

Hairspray (2007) = 7/10. I like musicals.

3:10 to Yuma (2007) = 7/10. Not too shabby for a boy movie.

September Dawn (2006) = 8/10. I've been to the Mountain Meadows Massacre site. Twice, I think. Visiting the site and hearing of what transpired there many years ago is my first memory of distrust with an organized religion.

The Brothers Solomon (2007) = 1/10. REALLY stupid. Not in a good way.

The O.C.: Season 1: Disc 1 (2003). Ahh, the beginning of another series I want to see but cannot possibly watch after the age of 30.

Shrek the Third (2007) = 7.5/10. Nearly as good as the first two.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007) = 3/10. Just not that funny, but Jessica Biel in a bikini is almost worth it.

Sicko (2007) = 8/10. The movie was great, but have to admit that I'm most upset about the fact that pretty much all other countries except the one I actually live in get tons more vacation time. And it's mostly mandatory. One thing I didn't like was the fact that he never mentioned anything about potential waiting times for a procedure/surgery after a diagnosis has been made.

Updates:

*Chicago was super fun, mostly business, but...I definitely do not fit in with professional musicians. I didn't get the jokes during the clinics. Not really interesting pics are here.

*We're already scheming for a spring break trip, probably to New Orleans.

*I'm going to be an aunt again! No, not my brothers. I love babies!

*My cousin is also going to be a mommy again. With twins! It seems like a lot of people I know are having twins.

*The new apartment is way more spartan than the old Memorial Creek. Not a dump, just more basic. But it's $125 cheaper a month. So, anytime something crappy happens, namely being able to hear EVERY footstep of the tenants above due to wooden floors, I just think "1500 extra dollars going toward a house, $125 extra a month." We're going to start looking at houses this spring just to get an idea.

*My resolutions this year:

Watch more movies. I just didn't have time last year.
Fix all the ID3 tags on my iPod. (This one probably won't happen because I have like 4000 to go through.)
Rip all of my CDs to computer. Get rid of CDs. Such a liberated feeling with the ones I have already ripped. This will be done before fixing all of the tags of songs already on my iPod.
Work up to eating more than 2 servings of fruit per day. Mommy would probably fall over if she knew I was already eating even 1-2 per day now. I was HIGHLY resistant to eating fruits as a child. It had to be a texture thing.
Blog more. I just don't seem to have the time anymore with a husband that enjoys communicating and spending time with me, more work at work, and going to the gym 5 times a week.

*I'm very anti-video games. But Rock Band is so much fun! Not the guitar part.

*As part of diagnosing me, my doctor has put me on Ambien for the next two weeks. I've tried it for the last three nights and not only do I NOT sleep through the night, I also did not try to drive, cook, call someone, or have sex during my sleep like some people do on the medication. Boring.

*I got a flat iron for Christmas and I love it!

*It is very hard to get your jog on at a gym whilst in between two dudes training for a marathon.

*Shelby turned 4 yesterday. I can't believe I had her for that long.

Moving always sucks, but man...

2007-12-17T06:40:00.000-08:00

It was almost like God was playing a joke. He was like, "what would be the WORST possible conditions for Rachel & Doug to move in? Freezing cold weather? Oh, sure. But let's add rain and ice, too! Oh, and it would also be funny if they didn't have electricity for 2.5 days AND have a broken phone line (which means there's no Internet) for a few weeks AND, for good measure, I'll make sure their dishwasher is backed up so they can't clean anything too easily." And then He made it happen.

So yeah, that was fun. Phone won't be fixed for a while and dishwasher won't either.

But now we get have some real fun (and nearly free) in Chicago for the next week. Doug is going to a band clinic thingy and I get to tag along. Oprah isn't filming, Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me doesn't have the guests I really want to see on. So...normal fun Chicago stuff.

Pit Bandits

2007-12-03T22:43:00.000-08:00

Unborn in the USA: Inside the War on Abortion (2007) = 7/10. Very interesting and scary look at the pro-life movement. And I know I'm pretty literal and have a hard time interpreting things, but it wasn't at all clear to me if the filmmakers made this to show how crazy pro-lifers can be or if they are with the pro-life movement themselves. Huh...how interesting. It would be interesting if someone did a follow-up film with these same pro-lifers and find out what other kind of welfare work they do with those that are already born. I'm curious if any of them are foster or adoptive parents. Unfortunately, I think I might already know the answer.

Christmas in the Clouds (2001) = 6.5/10. Pretty good romance and mistaken identity movie. A little on the slow side at times.

The Office: Season 3: Disc 4 (2006). Yay. Doug got addicted and now we own season 1 & 2.

The Office: Season 3: Disc 3 (2006).

I felt so rejected this Thanksgiving. My same-sex relative didn't feel my boobs this year. I guess that's what happens when you get married. So sad.

It's funny how sometimes people (myself included) leap to ridiculous conclusions rather than own up to the fact that they don't remember something or are flat out wrong. While getting ready for work one day last week:

Doug: Hey, did you use my deodorant?

Rachel: [reminded of the unpleasantness of every man's deodorant container- product caked onto the side of the container, easily two days' worth, and those one or two hairs on the product itself. I shutter. ] Uhh....noooo....

Doug: Are you sure?

Rachel: Yeah, I'm very sure. See, you put your deodorant in your drawer and I put mine in the medicine cabinet.

Doug: Did you maybe use it for a workout or something? Because I know I wasn't down to the end of it the last time I used it.

Rachel: I am sure I didn't use it. I would have had to reach for another place AND it smells totally different than mine. Didn't use it at all.

Doug: Really?

Rachel: Yes, really. Promise.

Doug: Then...then someone came in here and used my deodorant.

Rachel: What?

Doug: Someone had to come in here and use it because it wasn't like this last time.

Rachel: Wait, wait [slight chuckle under my breath], you honestly think someone walked into the apartment, didn't steal all of the stuff they could sell on eBay, and went straight for your deodorant, not mine, put some on and left?

Doug: [realizing how silly the idea sounds] Yeeeessssss.

Rachel: Man, that is some kind of kink, huh?

The "weekend of doom" is upon us. We move this weekend.

It's also great for your skin?

2007-11-21T09:40:00.000-08:00

The Office: Season 3: Disc 1 (2006).

I Think I Love My Wife (2007) = 2/10. I can't get over sleazy men who nearly cheat on their wives.

The Office: Season 3: Disc 1 (2006).

Jonestown: The Life and Death of Peoples Temple (2006) = 7.5/10. Quite informative. It's weird for me to think that this all went down just two years before I was born.

Blood Diamond (2006) = 8/10. I wonder if mine are blood diamonds.

The Final Cut (2004) = 3.5/10. Nifty concept but pretty boring.

Yay! I'm finally watching more movies.

In lieu of using regular facial moisturizer, she uses pure castor oil on her face. Yes, the same castor oil used to induce bowel movements. At first I thought I was the one missing out on some secret beauty trick. But Google left me dry. Weird.

Movin' Right Along

2007-11-02T11:54:00.000-07:00

Night at the Museum (2006) = 6.5/10. I thought it was pretty awesome for a kiddo movie. And they might actually be more interested in learning about history or going to a museum.

Georgia Rule (2007) = 4.5/10. Not at all what I thought it was about. But turned out to be pretty ok.

In case you were wondering, I actually do have the ability to make a major decision in 6 days. It helps that Doug is much more of a spontaneous person that me. Case in point- a new place to live.

Last Friday I came home and there was a letter on my apartment door stating that my new lease terms needed to be figured out by Halloween and oh, by the way, we're raising your rent $50. Last year when my rent was raised $25, I seriously considered relocating before realizing the cost of a security deposit and pet deposit would be more than the increase in rent. This year, it's a different story. Doug hates this complex. We had LIVE MAGGOTS falling out of the bathroom vent last summer and dead ones the summer before that (though I didn't know what they were at the time). During the evenings in the crushing heat of summer, the apartment doesn't get below 78-80 degrees because of the west facing windows. And ya know, that whole incident two years ago where there was a sex offender living right across from me.

It's all just not worth it. Especially when, for the price they're asking, we could be living in a super nice apartment.

Although I really hate the moving process, I've decided to embrace the positive aspects of this semi-forced ordeal:

*It's in a totally new part of town for me. As such, I intend to explore. Mainly food.
*I get to streamline my belongings. I tried to do this before Doug moved in, but found myself keeping many things I shouldn't.
*In addition to a 13% decrease in rent, we'll also save money due to the fact that Doug will no longer be driving to work via the turnpike. $1.20/day adds up to one more dinner out over a month.
*It's 1.7 miles closer for me to drive to work.
*It's really going to be the last move before a house. I swear!

Completely unrelated:

I sat at my work computer yesterday thinking about how my mother would completely freak out if she knew I'm regularly eating 3-5 fruit servings per day during the work week.

Cali twice in a year

2007-10-25T14:42:00.000-07:00

Evan Almighty (2007) = 7/10. I love Steve Carell! A good message plus awesome visual effects and makeup, too.

Knocked Up (2007) = 3.5/10. The minuscule amount of humor in this movie was completely squelched by the view of her vagina crowning.

Music and Lyrics (2007) = 4.5/10. I was a little bored.

The sad California sojourn has been over for a week now. Doug's 94-year-old granny passed away October 11 and the four of us grandkids (that's me now!) flew out together on a claustrophobia-enducing ExpressJet flight to say our collective final goodbye. One thing I never took into consideration when I got married was hugging. Let me explain: I met all these new people and they all seemed to automatically go for a full-body hug when they found out I was now part of the family. Thankfully, I'm ok with most hugging. Otherwise, I might have been a bit freaked out.

I could go into details of the trip, but instead I'm mainly going to talk about the lady sitting across the 6-inch wide aisle on the flight out there. And a little bit of the trip.

ExpressJet doesn't leave you hungry. There was a short stopover midway through the flight and between both flights, we had a total of 6 mini-meals. When we first got on the plane, the near-elderly woman had a breakfast sandwich from Quizzno's in her hand. She proceeded to eat this sandwich not like a normal person, eating from the would-be heel of the bread down, but from the SIDE of the sandwich. It left her with a pencil-thin sandwich by the end of it all. We both found it quite odd.

An hour later, sidewayssandwicheating woman was given a bagel and cream cheese. She smeared cream cheese over the bagel and instead of picking it up to eat. she cut a tiny part off first. Why not save yourself the cutting step, lady? I'll bet she also eats a hot dog with a knife, too.

The rest:

*Doug has now set foot into a Sephora. And he bought something. It's all part of my master plan. Mwa ha ha!

*I have been in a Trader Joe's now. I love chocolate. I love edamame. But CHOCOLATE-COVERED edamame just sounds icky.

*Why does it look like my pants are pulled up to my bra here?:

*I finally understand what "really good, bland, but flavorful Mexican food" means.

*Anyone want to tell us what the extra shower sprayer thingy is for here?:

A closer view:

Was I supposed to clean my boobs with it or something? You could BARELY move the knobs around to make it spray in another direction.

*I missed Amanda's wedding. I was completely bummed as I had been looking forward to it for nearly a year.

*If you're the kind of person who thinks yelling is a way to earn respect, you lose ALL of mine.

The Salt Comedians

2007-10-02T15:53:00.000-07:00

Home Room (2002) = 3/10. Slloooowwww.

The Nanny Diaries (2007) = 5.5/10. I mean, I sorta liked it, but it was told in a weird way and the book was WAY better and you got a better sense of how screwed up the Grover was.

Since my last post:

*I saw my first Smart Car in Oklahoma:

The tag appropriately displays "SMARTY."

*Brother Geoff got inducted to National Honor Society (like his brilliant sister before him):

That's his butt receiving the certificate.

*In the grocery store, Doug discovered that apparently Jewish salt miners have a sense of humor:

*Because I blogged about getting a passport, circumstances have changed of course. No getting a passport this month because I will not have any leave time at the end of the year to take the working (for Doug) vacation to Chicago.

*I'm officially no longer a Priceline virgin. Doug graciously let me bid on a hotel room for the 1-night stay in St. Louis for the road trip to Chicago. I'd say $48 is a great price for this Hyatt Regency. Especially considering that the Motel 6 (the hotel we ALWAYS used growing up) in the area is $41. I think I'm now addicted to traveling this way!

Pops-to-go

2007-09-14T12:22:00.000-07:00

High School Musical (2006) = 5/10. I had to see what the hullabaloo was all about. I'm torn on this one, though. On one hand, this movie has made musicals cool to a younger generation, a majority of whom have probably never seen a real musical or anything on a real stage. And I'm sure many kids/teens are educating themselves on musicals and the like as a result now. But on the OTHER hand, ALL of the teachers were portrayed as idiot caricatures. That really bothers me. Shame on you for that, Disney. I've only had one teacher who was just as idiotic as the teachers in this movie and I was IN COLLEGE at the time.

This past weekend Doug and I drove to the OU campus to pick up a trumpet he is trying to sell and exchange for huge fancy TV. On the drive back, I suggested we stop by Pops. Why not? It wasn't really out of our way and I was excited about the prospect of trying Ski for the first time since I was eight. Had I read the web page a little closer, I would have discovered it was basically a convenience store with a cool building way more refrigerators for sodas. And no Ski. I could have looked up that fact they didn't carry Ski, too. We estimated about 40% of the sodas there were available to purchase elsewhere, namely Jones Soda Company and Stewart's. It's not that I wasn't impressed, I just wasn't expecting the place to have gas pumps. AND I didn't get to take my picture with the ginormous soda bottle out front because Doug didn't want to take my picture. *sigh*

And in my "YAY! BOO!" news for the week:

YAY!:

I finally saw my mentee last night after a quiet 5 months. It wasn't my fault. We (case manager and myself) honestly had no clue where she was.

BOO!:

I got an email from the mentoring program telling me that they have lost their federal grants. Upon further conversation, the program will be gone within a month or so unless some Jesus-like action happens stat. This program was started under one of Bush's "Faith-Based Initiative" thingies three years ago. And although I am against using tax money to fund religious organizations, I am completely FOR helping kids who were dealt a horrible card in life. And by horrible card, I mean mommy or daddy is or was in jail. But if you think about it, closing the program is really just brilliant! We're totally teaching resilience, right? I mean, right about the time the kid starts to think that not all adults up and leave him or her--YANK! Way to go, Bush!

I'm being slightly over dramatic because at this point I don't know if the program is over or not. If it does go away, I have the option of joining the mega big mentor organization. Or we could just see each other on our own terms and hope I never need liability insurance.

And a positive- unless something goes wrong with the timing, we're applying for passports next month.

Cable is Cool

2007-09-03T18:56:00.000-07:00

Before I start, I know I'm perpetually 3-5 years behind everyone else.

So we got cable last month: the works, like, $93/month cable. And it comes with a bunch of On Demand stuff that I'll rarely watch. Doug and I were watching something and I mention to him that there were some potentially interesting things on the Oxygen On Demand. I not only wanted to impress him with the knowledge I've been rooting around on the TV some, but had also been scouting out things he shouldn't know about. I mean, what self-respecting man would have any recall of what was on the Oxygen Network? My husband, apparently, as he said, "Oh yeah, I know. Is it that sex lady Sue Johanson?"

My mission to impress: DENIED!

But then he had to rub it in. "Ooohhh, there IS this one thing on there you might really like. It's like short promotional stuff for the DVD version of those Scene It? games."

Trivia? Game? Sounds like a perfect way to pass the time between dinner and gym!

So, we played three versions: Music, Disney, and Friends. He annihilated me on ALL THREE. Something is very, very wrong about that.

Anyway, one of the few times he didn't just kill me on a question was this one:

You were supposed to guess the name of the artist. It started off with that cover only it was shaded and it got clearer as time passed. 1/2 way through it, when it was OBVIOUS who it WASN'T, Doug said "oh, that's Britney Spears."

I gently said, "no, that's Beyonce."

"Well, they look a lot alike."

"Babe, Beyonce is black."

"Oh. Well, whatever."

Funny.

The Beginning, the Lobster, and the End of the Big Bank (for me, anyway)

2007-09-02T10:49:00.000-07:00

The Last Kiss (2006) = 2.5/10. I hated this so much because it has multiple people who just need to GROW UP and deal with the CHOICES they've made in life. And that annoyed me because my real life is not lacking in the same type of people. It's true, I secretly want to yell "STFU, grow up, deal with your issue(s), get over it, then have a happy happy life!" to many people. But see how that all works out? Instead, I have to listen to you moan about the same issue(s) for years and not do a darn thing about it. I'm still supportive and positive, but inside my thoughts are that above. Shhh...don't tell.

The Holiday (2006) = 8/10. Yeah, I know I gave it a super high rating, but this is a completely perfect chick flick movie. It has ALL the essential elements PLUS some new ones. Loved it!

Little Miss Sunshine (2006) = 8/10. The person who recommended I watch this was totally right. I guffawed all the way through. I don't think I could ever deal with a dead body in the same vehicle with me. That's something that tends to happen a lot in the movies I watch.

Deliver Us From Evil (2006) = 8.5/10. I lose respect for churches on nearly a daily basis with all of this crap happening. And other reasons, of course. If you are or ever were a Catholic, you should watch this.

Confetti (2006) = 3/10. There is a lot of nudity in this. It's just probably not the kind you'd want to see. Creative storyline, though.

National Lampoon's Animal House (1978) = 7/10. Can you believe I've never seen this? Not bad, not bad.

The run-down:

* I went to Red Lobster (because it was close to free!) last week with my hubby and we decided to split an Ultimate Feast. It had lobster on it. I've never had lobster. I tried it. With butter. And it tasted a whole lot like...crayon. But see, I was mature about trying something new and all. And blech, it's a bottom-feeder! (Or at least I think it is.)

*The role of supportive sister/wife/daughter continues nearly every Friday from now until close to Christmas:

Clicky-pop for brother identification.

* I've been spoiled by ING Direct. Except for a home mortgage, I don't see much reason to use a brick and mortar bank or credit union (sorry to the one who earns a living via a traditional bank). Anyway, I highly recommend putting your stagnant 1% savings account (the emergency fund in our case) into a much higher interest-earning account. I know I could have got higher interest, but the whole thing was voodoo a few months ago to me and they'd been around the longest.

2007-08-17T19:15:00.000-07:00

Fast Food Nation (2006) = 3/10. Skip the movie, but do read the book.

Clue (1985) = 6/10. Not only had I never seen this before, I've also never played the game.

The Da Vinci Code (2006) = 10/10. It's really too bad that I got bored 1/2 way through the book and stopped reading it. Movies was excellent, even with all of the "controversy."

The OH in Ohio (2006) = 3.5/10. Even though I love Parker Posey and seeing gigantic dildos and other exotic sex toys on a film, the ending left me so sorely disappointed that all I can muster up is a 3.5.

The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999) = 7.5/10. Creepy, but good. I can't say that I've never wondered if I've ever met an impostors in my life.

Casino Royale (2006) = 7/10. I have nothing to say here because I watched this so long ago.

This Film Is Not Yet Rated (2006) = 8/10. It's too bad that I don't care much about ratings because I watch mostly independent movies anyway and am almost anti-movie theater (too expensive & I can't pause it). Otherwise, this documentary was fantastic. Censorship sucks! Especially when it's not even standardized.

Still here. Yes, things are good. Even the "getting to to know each other's bad habits (a.k.a. pick up your clothes off the floor!)" stage of marriage is more overwhelmingly positive than I had ever anticipated.

But, unfortunately for the ten people who read this, my life is just...well...not oddity-worthy of late.

In fact, the most exciting things to happen to me since getting married and having a nice honeymoon has been:

* The arrival of a much needed new, super comfy couch. And curtains. Although not obvious, it takes up about 1/3 of the front-to-back floorspace of the living room.

* Last month a woman in her 40s walked out of Quizno's directly in front of me. Her Z4 BMW just happened to be parked next to mine. She made eye contact with me, and then accidentally bumped her car door on mine. She then proceeded to get in the car, look at the damage she caused, say "oh my god," and speed away. No dent, just chipped paint. Her tag is Z4ANGEL. If you see her, feel free to run her off the road for me as this seems the most appropriate thing to do to a woman of this age behaving in this manner. I knew this was going to happen right after we paid off my car.

* My 401(k) hit the first significant milestone of one year's salary.

* BK, an ex (really, the only normal one) that I dated for a brief period of time a few months before Doug, got engaged last month. I totally knew about it for MONTHS before, though. What makes this engagement significant for me is that, for the first time in my entire life, hearing of the pending engagement made me happy. Previous announcements made me either jealous or depressed with my lack or or current relationship. Or both. But not now! A stable relationship does a Rachel good.

* The America's Test Kitchen recipes are, hands down, the best ever. Doug and I almost always moan after the first bite of a new recipe.

* I really want to take a super cheap/short cruise during the slow season just to see what's the deal. And a short cruise because I want to make sure I don't get seasick, a definitely possibility given my inability to handle curvy roads (exhibit A & B). The problem is that my husband, family, and most of my friends are busy during the slow season. So, I have no one to go with.

A Honeymoon Memory

2007-07-17T23:15:00.000-07:00

This is one of those things that if I don't write down, I might lose the memory forever:

Before we left on the honeymoon, Doug told me "I don't mind walking quite a bit in San Francisco."

If one tells me these things, I plan accordingly.

May 28^th:

We spent the day at Alcatraz, then Fisherman's Wharf, and we were now at Ghirardelli Square, sharing the world's best hot fudge sundae-$6.95, worth it. We were exhausted even though the time was only 18:00. I looked at the map and said to Doug, "ya know, Lombard Street is only 4 blocks away...Wanna go?"

"Just 4 blocks? Are you sure?"

"Yup."

What I failed to tell him was that those 4 blocks were at a 200 million degree incline like this:

Moments after I took this picture, Doug breathlessly told me, "When I said...I would walk around San Francisco...I didn't know it had all these hills."

A Riddle

2007-07-09T22:02:00.001-07:00

Question:

What do you call an apartment that had maggots falling out of the bathroom exhaust for a period of a week and now has 20 or so flies (for the second year running) emerging from the same exhaust on a daily basis, despite complaining to the apartment manager and then having to practically lure them into "spraying" for maggots when they also promised to vacuum out whatever died in the exhaust but did not do so?

Answer:

Uninhabitable.

When the lease is up, we move out.

Err....probably. If we can find something. And no, we will not be buying a house.

Freedom!

2007-07-04T23:15:00.000-07:00

Boynton Beach Club (2005) = 6/10. At the end of the day (man, I hate that phrase), I'm still a little weirded out by people over the age of 70 dating and (gasp!) having sex. But it did have fine moments.

Reno 911!: Miami (2007) = 6.5/10. All immature potty humor, but I laughed quite a bit. Doug loved it.

Lady in the Water (2006) = 4/10. I mean, it was ok, but I can't seem to ever really get into fairytale-like stories. I did not know, however, that M. Night Shyamalan was so hot! I might need to watch more thriller/horror movies now.

Jesus Camp (2006) = 9/10. I really don't even know where to begin with this one. So, I won't. Much has already been written on this movie. I can add my own anecdotal feeling, though. There was one summer in my life when I was around a genuine pervert. I was about 11 and my family was staying for the summer at my grandparents' motel. The man was named Mike. He was the motel handyman for the summer. My dad later told that Mike was sent to jail for raping boys or some such. As I remember him, Mike was super nice and was fun to be around. But whenever adults weren't around (which was practically never and only for less than 5 minutes at a time), he would look around suspiciously, touch/rub the side of my face and then say things like "you are so beautiful." I always brushed his hand away and told him to stop...that it felt weird. The weird feeling was an actual physical feeling somewhere in my gut. It felt like a cross between needing to puke and having nervous butterflies in your tummy. I have now renamed this odd physical feeling my "child molester button." And it's worked on several other occasions. Child molester button goes on, I run away from person and then later find out person was a very bad person. Anywho, Mike never did anything to me. That same exact child molester button was turned on the entire time I watched this movie. I felt sick. Perhaps I should rename it to "children being exploited button."

Today, I celebrate our freedom. As of July 2, The new Reynolds Family is completely, utterly, totally debt free. I paid off my car.

Fine, if you want to be all technical about it, Doug's money paid off my car. In my defense, it was only $1700. Sigh...

No one ever let me buy a new car again. They're horrible investments!

The car does drive a little different now, though. Maybe that's just because all of the garage sale stuff in the trunk that I took to my mom's today.

Eda-yummy!

2007-06-25T18:26:00.000-07:00

Mommy, I have a serious, life-changing announcement to make: my new favorite food is both a vegetable and green:

Honestly, did you ever think this day was possible when you and dad were holding me down, forcing green peas into my gullet? And now here I am, craving something green and healthy. And I know it has to be good for me because Shelby won't eat it.

Thank you Jessica & Giselle for introducing me!

And now the honeymoon is officially over

2007-06-12T20:38:00.000-07:00

Because I Said So (2007) = 6.5/10. It was super cute in some parts, super scary in others. The fact that the sisters commonly discuss the details of their partner's bits with their MOTHER disturbed me. Is that common? Do you girls out there talk about your hubby's/boyfriend's/one-night stand's penis with your mommy?

Maxed Out (2006) = 8/10. A good look at the human side of the credit card industry. I'm done with them. Err...WE, that is.

The Office: Season 1 (2005). WAY better than the British version. Especially since I understand the references in this one.

Hollywood Homicide (2003) = 2.5/10. Super boring. Even Doug could barely make it through the first hour.

Yes, we're back. Yes, I had a fantastic time. Yes, I am currently in the process of posting all of the pictures. They will be posted here and I'm done when the total picture count is close to 270. You know me, I have to tag and geotag what I can. And no, I'm not knocked up, but thanks for asking. That is the subject for the next post.

Worst honeymoon memory:

Me (to Doug): You know, come to think of it, I don't think I have ever been pooped on by a bird. How lucky am I?!

And the very next day while walking down the gigantic hill at Alcatraz, which also happens to be a nesting ground for birds, I ate my words. It wasn't even one nicely formed birdie dump lump but rather a splatter all on my black jacket and hair.

I shipped off the husband June 2^nd to summer school in Norman. I get to see him only on the weekends until the very last of July. I had no idea how lonely the apartment would be after barely a month of marriage. Nor did I plan for the boredom that follows after the wedding dust settled. The last half-year of my life has been spent planning a wedding. And now I have no big deadline or project in the works. Well, unless you count renaming the ID3 tags on my 3200+ songs for the iPod. Idle hands naturally led me start the dreaded summer cleaning. I'm doing it right this time- actually going through ALL of my stuff, pricing unwanted items for a late summer yard sale, throwing away things, organizing the things we have accumulated in life. And in a big plastic box in my closet I found pictures from a few years back (2001-2003). All I could think each and every time I flipped to the next page was, "holy moly, I look super fat in this pic. And even fatter in this one."

Not that I'm skinny now, but I had no idea how different I looked just a few short years ago. It makes me wonder about those last 15 vanity pounds...

Despite warnings from a all of my married friends (who are mostly childless), this has really not been the most difficult month of my life. Far from it. In fact, medical issues not included, it's been the best! Then again, I'm not 18 like some of them were during their first month of marriage.

Honeymoon is over before it began

2007-05-24T11:55:00.000-07:00

I know marriage, especially the first year, isn't supposed to be easy. Around the age twenty, I left behind the "happily ever after, end of story" illusion that some (if not most) females harbor.

But my goodness, I believe we have already gone through more trying times than most three-week-old marriages due to things out of our control. Indeed, we are strong. But...

I have some moderately serious semi-mystery ailment and Doug darn near totaled his car this past weekend.

And yet, it always seems that when life is going less than perfect (though I certainly would not consider life "tough" by any means yet), the powers that be always seem to sprinkle something very happy in the midst of the downtime. This instance, it was from my past life as a teacher. I received this email:

Rachel -

I'm not sure if you'll remember me but I taught with you at Westwood Elementary. I taught (and still teach) 5th grade. Red hair....come on, you know! Shawn Exxxxxx.....

One of your former students is in my class this year, Juan Xxxx. He was a total pill when you had him, and has made such spectacular progress that he is actually speaking at tonight's graduation. His time with you really made an impact on him, and his insight as to how he treated you and how unfair it was has been really something that has changed who he is.

He wrote you a letter and I want to send it to you - I let him type it so I'll just attach it.

If you want to reply back to me I will print your response (sans email address!) and show it to him.

Anyhow, I hope this is you and I hope this really makes your day.

God bless,

shawn
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Ms. Harden

How are you doing, you may not remember me, or you may have from some bad memories in 3rd grade BUT I want to tell you how I have changed from my past being in your class, my name is Juan Xxxx I am in 5th grade.

During my summer break after 3rd grade, I thought about how I had treated you. I thought to my self how can I treat a very nice teacher that did not deserve what I gave her in 3rd grade. Being in 3rd grade with you changed me. From that day on I never been mean to a teacher again and I have made it to where I am now in 5th grade about to graduate and I have been asked to make a speech about how I have changed.

Sincerely,

Juan Xxxx

It did indeed make my day.

Honemoon starts tomorrow! No cell phone (well not one turned ON anyway), no iPod, no laptop, no email. Just me, Doug, and the Pacific Coast Highway.

I'll be back on the 31^st. And then we can deal with antibiotics and a nearly totaled car.

Followup: turns out, all I need to do was blog about the missing marriage license for it to magically appear in our mailbox the same day. Some goof at the courthouse signed/processed the license but forgot to enter the information into the computer system. I had to call and have her manually enter the information into the system. It's slightly scary to think about what might have happened had I not checked it online. The record they would have would gone something like "they applied for a marriage license and never got married." I'm sure that would look fantastic to the descendants who want to look up geneology stuff in the future.

Lost

2007-05-18T00:55:00.000-07:00

Doug, sometime during the mini-(honey) moon (a.k.a wedding night): "Things have gone a little too smoothly. I'm not sure what exactly but something will happen in the next few days that will be not so good."

I told him to stop jinxing us and we went about our evening.

I always try to be proactive, expect the unexpected, and roll with what is thrown my way, but I surely did not but expect our marriage license would get lost in the mail somewhere on its way from the preacher's hands to the court clerk. Can't a girl catch a break? Geez!

There aren't huge consequences to not having our marriage license just yet. It's just more annying than anything.

Things I can't do:

*Update my name with Social Security
*Update my name with the DMV
*Open up joint accounts with my new name on it
*Change name with my bank
*Change name with credit cards
*Change name with all other utility accounts
*Put Doug on my lease (and because of this)-
*Doug cannot update his address with the DMV
*Open up an online savings account

I was told that we can go get another print out of the license and walk it through through the system. Which is super convenient seeing as how Doug will be gone ALL summer long in Norman for summer school at OU, Giselle (maid-of-honor/witness) has a work schedule that doesn't lend itself to being available when Doug is available to go to the courthouse and sign, I prefer to use my vacation time in other ways, and the preacher's business hours are M-F 10-4.

Thus, I might be Rachel Harden for a while longer than expected.

2007-05-05T07:02:00.000-07:00

I don' t know why everyone told me I wouldn't sleep the night before my wedding. I so totally slept for 4 hours quite well!

The Hellish Shoes

2007-05-03T13:52:00.000-07:00

The Devil Wears Prada (2006) = 8/10. Definitely not as good as the book, but what movie ever is?

4.5" heels! What was I thinking? Oh, that's right. I was thinking it was better to buy tall heels rather than to spend $90 on a hem that nearly chops off the embroidery on my dress. That grey sandpaper thing on the bottom of my shoe might just be the best $4 I've ever spent if it keeps me from slipping during the wedding.

Not going to fall...not going to fall...not going to fall.

Boo hoo!

2007-04-27T13:34:00.000-07:00

Am I allowed to be saddened by the fact that there is a 60% chance of rain on the big day?

Super Nerd!

2007-04-24T22:01:00.000-07:00

The symptoms were all in place:

*It was a book signing
*I brought my own book from home that I have owned since 2002
*I rearranged my busy bridal schedule just to see the author
*I showed up 20 minutes early (they were still setting up!)
*I sat on the front row
*I was the youngest person at the book signing
*I braved the rain

Put it all together, I am a super nerd! But I got to see Clark Howard. And have a book signed. I've wanted to see him since about 2000.

Disturbing Conversations

2007-04-23T19:02:00.000-07:00

Now that we're in the final stretch, I can finally share some of the more interesting and awkward conversations I've had over the course of the last four months.

Married Woman A: So how many times over the last two years have you written Rachel Eliabeth Reynolds just for practice?

Me: [looking up to the ceiling with my trademark cutting eyes and eyebrow upturned] Uhh...exactly once. It was on Friday when I filled out the little box on the marriage license that says "name to be known as."

Married Woman A: What? Didn't you daydream about getting married to him? What is wrong with you?
~~~~~~
Me: So, yeah, it's get married, write thank you notes and get the apartmet in order for 19 days, honeymoon, and then boom! Doug is gone for most of the summer [continuing work on his Master's Degree at OU in Norman].

Married Woman B: Gone? For the entire summer?

Me: Well, I'll see him most weekends.

Married Woman B: Oh, I just don't think I could never do that. Aren't you afraid Doug is going to find another woman and cheat on you?

Me: I...[abrupt stop when the full weight of what she just said hits me] trust Doug and he has gone away for the past two years during the summers. Do you not tru...well, nevermind. No, it just won't be a problem.
~~~~~~
Married Woman C: I'm aware of the fact that you like to wear T-shirts and things that look like Cuddl Duds to sleep. But for your wedding night and honeymoon you probably want to get something different. Now honey, all men like lace...

(I'm really sad that I apparently come off as incredibly stupid to everyone.)
~~~~~~
Married Woman D: So after you get married, he's still going to go to school?

Me: Of course, he's nearly done with his degree now.

Married Woman D: Oh, I just figured you'd make him stop school to be with you.

(She obviously doesn't know me at all!)
~~~~~~
* This one left me utterly speechless:

Married Woman E (who is under the age of 50): Now, I didn't have anyone around me to tell me certain things about getting married, so I feel like I should share something very important with you.

Me: [a hesitated] O..k... [oh grrrreat]

Married woman E: Now, there's this stuff called birth control pills that keep you from having a baby until you want to...

2007-04-20T11:18:00.001-07:00

Ta da!

Today is

2007-04-20T06:10:00.000-07:00

Today is Friday. A day like any other. Except...I get a marriage license today!

ACT Rivalry

2007-04-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, brother Geoffrey briefly decided to apply to a math & science summer college program. He has since decided he had no chance of getting in due to the fact that he is a white middle-class male. Before he decided not to apply, though, he asked my help with the application process. One of the questions asked was "Why do you want to attend our program?" Written down on his scratch paper, he said "to get my ACT composite score to a 32."

And then...

Me: Well, don't freak out if you can't get quite that high because that's totally (friend from high school) Maggie-genius level. And it's REALLY hard for a lot of people to do that well.

Geoff: I know, but it's my goal.

Me: Ok, cool. So, what is the lowest score you could make and still be happy with?

Geoff: [pauses for a moment] What did you make on it?

Let the sibling rivalry begin. And begin today. Geoff is, as I'm typing, taking the ACT for the first time. He's a freshman. Good luck!

In other news:

*My office gave me a surprise shower yesterday. And it was a complete surprise! Here's my surprise look:

Somehow, they managed to get food from On the Border, a cake, and a present all set up in the kitchen without my knowledge.

*We now have wedding bands:

I went in Tuesday totally thinking I was going to get just a plain band. That's what I had already picked out. Instead, Doug forced me to get more bling. :) I love it!

*I have my third and final shower today at church for church people, school people, and Doug's family. It's a co-ed shower. This should be fun!

A Breakdown Moment

2007-04-13T06:54:00.000-07:00

Dawson's Creek: Season 6: Disc 4 (2002). I'm finally done with this series!!! It only took 1.5 years. Overall, I give the series a 4/10.

Running with Scissors (2006) = 3.5/10. Read the book. Skip the movie.

TMNT (2007) = 0/10. I went with my mentee and her two siblings plus another mentor and our case manager to see this a few weeks ago. At least it was free. I was SO bored!

My friend Meghan, whom I've known since second grade, came over last night to give me the veil she made. That included putting a satin edging on it as well as Swarovski crystals. It's super pretty! We tried on my whole wedding ensemble minus the shoes I will wear and makeup. And then we cried. I basically turned into one of those brides that I loathe-the ones I saw at wedding shopes. She stands on the pedestal with a dress and veil on and then usually a couple of friends and her mother and they all in unison say, "you're (clear nose, tears welling up in the eyes) getting married." And then they all sob together. That was us last night.

I've made the decision that no matter what goes wrong during the day, I can't care too much because I look awesome.

Ripping hair- check!

2007-04-04T23:06:00.000-07:00

One more thing can now be marked off of my "things to do before I die" list- bikini wax. I actually killed two birds this evening as the bikini wax is most definitely the thing I was the most nervous about in regards to wedding planning. That's right. I was more nervous about getting waxed than tripping on my dress walking down the aisle or some other such Rachelism.

Honestly, it was only about a quarter of the pain I had envisioned. There wasn't any awkwardness. Over in 15 minutes and that includes witch hazel & lotion application). $35. I could definitely do it again.

As the receptionist was explaining to me the intricate details of how to change into my spa clothes (towel wrap, robe, and flip flops), she asked if it was my first time. I said "yes, and I'm very nervous." She offered a glass of wine. She then told me that many people will sip "a couple" glasses of wine before they go in and get waxed. I respectfully declined-I don't drink, but the thought of some woman in her mid-30s sitting in the lobby downing what I suspect is boxed wine while worrying about revealing her delicate flower to a stranger amuses me far too much. Plus, it's not THAT nervewracking.

Exactly one more month left.

Rain or shine, pictures will be taken

2007-03-22T22:38:00.000-07:00

Yippie! Doug and I received our very first wedding gift today:

Well, technically the check is made out to me, but I suppose I'll hubby-to-be can claim it, too. Doug and I have decided that all cash and checks go directly to the house account in case you're wondering. And why wouldn't you?

We're having our free engagement photography session tomorrow from 3-6. I really hope it doesn't rain! But rain or shine, we're going to make the most of the day. Besides wouldn't we just look adorable underneath an umbrella like this?

And....Happy birthday brother Geoffrey! He turned sweet 16 yesterday.

An Invitation to Sleep?

2007-03-13T23:42:00.000-07:00

It is done:

Finally! I don't want to see any type of ribbon for at least six months and wax seals for a few years.

I am really sorry if I misspelled your name. By the time I was on a particular guest named Ziegler, I barely cared how these went together. Oddly enough, my hand didn't cramp at all. I'm also very sorry if you happened to get one of the RSVP envelopes without a stamp on it. I think my two part-time envelope stuffers, Doug and Giselle, might have accidentally stuck those in somewhere. I'm learning more toward Doug on that one. I had only intended those to go to the people who lived in my apartment complex and co-workers. Oops!

Wax Seals

2007-03-13T00:04:00.000-07:00

I have been in invitation hell since Friday. I'm STILL not finished with all of them. I have learned valuable lessons, though:

-Weigh the invitation and enclosures before ordering stamps just in case it requires more postage. In my case, it did.

-There isn't an invitation fairy who will come to put the wrap and ribbon on the invitation. Plan accordingly.

- Wax seals are pretty. Pretty time consuming. Check out how I made it slightly easier here.

-I thoroughly enjoyed watching Doug's attempts at putting together the invitation while I addressed envelopes. "No, honey, it's invitation, protection paper, reception, RSVP tucked under RSVP envelop facing backwards, THEN on invitation UNDER the wrap. Tie bow on." Most amusing to watch was the bow tying. My MOH, Giselle, wasn't nearly as amusing because she intuitively understood the invitation order and didn't seem to fuss as much about the bows as she knew it was going to be crammed into an envelope anyway. Good MOHs are like that!

This picture is the most rewarding thing I've seen in a while:

Almost done. That's approximately 100 invitations. 20 more to go...

A BMI called normal

2007-02-22T07:07:00.000-08:00

Deliver Us from Eva (2003) = 4/10. Ya know, Gabrielle Union is hot. It wasn't an awful movie, but it's one that's been on my list forever and needed to go away.

I weigh myself every Monday morning- same scale, same time, same clothes (none). Occasionally I will weigh myself mid-week just because. About a week ago I woke up and stumbled groggily into the bathroom to begin the pre-work morning routine. After I took care of teeth and tinkle, I figured I could step on the scale just to see. I was putting off geting in the shower. With one eye open, I hop on. The number I see confuses me. [hmmm...maybe I just stepped on the wrong place and the scale is reading it wrong] Two more tries, same result. The number still confuses me. I've kept diligent track of my weight (on a spreadsheet, no less. Shut up.) since Novmeber 2004 and I have never seen this number. The last time I remember seeing anything remotely close to this number was in 2000 or 2001.

I step on the scale a 4^th and final time. I realize that, for the first time in a long time, I am now a normal weight according to the archaic BMI.

I smile slightly and then turn around to face myself in the mirror. I'm immediately faced with the realization that I cannot see anything that looks that's different than it did two months ago. ARGH!

Two days later, I was told "those pants you're wearing look ridiculously big on you. Go shopping already." So, apparently something does look different.

After work that day, I went to the jewelry store where my ring was being re-re-sized. They got it wrong the first time. I asked the clerk how much it usually was to get a ring resized and why might people get them sized more than once?

"Well, it's usually $25 and some people have accidents with their ring or gain or lose a lot of weight. So, keep that in mind if you ever decide to lose weight."

Thanks for ruining my normal BMI day.

Even holy garments stick when wet

2007-02-11T20:27:00.000-08:00

America: Freedom to Fascism (2006) = 6/10. The problem with watching a documentary on a subject on which I know nothing is that I have no idea how slanted (or in this case, potentially tin hat wearing the filmmaker is) the facts are presented. The content is definitely worth exploring, though.

The Perfect Score (2004) = 4/10. I have to admit, though, the Netflix Instant Viewing thing is pretty cool. I gladly wasted 1.5 hours on this to try it out. I wouldn't have been so pleased had I actually spend $1.75 (or so) for this movie in the mail.

Dawson's Creek: Season 6: Disc 3 (2002). I just don't like Eddie.

For Maggie:

Doesn't the look in my eyes say something close to "Am I Greek now?"

Either you'll get it or you won't. Still a great movie.

My five seconds of fame

2007-02-05T17:04:00.000-08:00

All you people coming over from the People video article, Perez Hilton's video link, or the original You Tube link, welcome! I'll use my five seconds of fame to tell you to donate $ to the "Give Rachel (that's ME!) & Douglas an AWESOME Honeymoon Fund" by sending reharden@yahoo.com money on Paypal.

Just kidding!

A proper response will follow, but for now I'm going to go work out. Working out will be followed by making 150 bird seed sacks from tulle circles.

Purple hands

2007-02-03T13:10:00.000-08:00

Employee of the Month (2006) = 5.5/10. I mean, it had it's moments. This is exactly what working at Sonic and Blockbuster was like as far as the petty attitudes are concerned.

Note to self:

If the directions clearly state gloves should be worn, perhaps there's a reason for that. Now when John Mayer pulls you on stage (even though I'm sitting on the 20^th row) at his concert tonight, you'll look like a freak. Or like someone who has one of those big red birthmarks.

Note to Aunt Becky:

Dyed tulle circles look fabulous!

Tonight will technically the first concert I have attended since adulthood. I went to New Kids on the Block in 3^rd grade and Blue Man Group in November. But Blue Man Group just didn't feel like a rock concert but more like performance art.

Amazingly, I won't be buying anything from you!

2007-01-30T21:42:00.000-08:00

Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season 4: Disc 2 (2005). I'm still really loving this show! Hating Jeff's wife, though. I just want to slap her.

Eight Below (2006) = 7/10. What could possibly be cuter than humanizing animals?

In what was probably the 7^th most exhausting thing I've ever done in my entire, two wedding registries were started this weekend. It's all coming so quickly! I told Doug last Tuesday he had his choice of doing 1 of 3 wedding-related thing on Thursday- a) beginning the registration process, b) looking at rings for him (and maybe a band for me), c) listening to my decoration ideas for everything. He said, "Let's do it all." And he wasn't joking. Someone grossly underestimated the time it takes to pick out wants with a scanner. I have a feeling that the entire registry process is likely to upwards of a full day.

Friday evening when I got to my apartment, a letter was tacked to my front door. It probably ended up in someone else's mailbox. Click on the picture to read my name.

Here's a hint to all you marketing people: calling me "The Amazing Rachel" sounds completely hokey and won't ease me in to buy your product/service. In fact, the name sounds a whole lot like a magician. Does this actually work for some people? Do some people actually open the mail, find that someone addressed it to a stupid name, and then buy the product? I guess it serves the purpose of getting my attention.

De Dress, De Dress

2007-01-20T00:02:00.000-08:00

The Ant Bully (2006) = 3/10. Snooze....

Sketches of Frank Gehry (2005) = 6/10. I'm not an artsy person, but I really enjoy learning about architecture. And I love this guy's work! The overall documentary itself was a little boring, though.

Where's Rachel?

Peek-a-boo! Here I am!

A few devoted readers asked where the heck I've been. I'm here, but my life currently provides little usable entertaining blog material. 90% of the current life I'm living revolves around four things: A) sleep, B) work, C) working out D) wedding planning.

A & C provide little entertainment value. B provides much fodder but isn't appropriate for blogging. And D...who really cares about that besides me and a few close friends?

In the other 10% of my life, these non-interesting things have occured:

I have no earthly idea how I survived without my iPod.

A friend was playing around on my iPod a few days ago and saw my podcast list. She said, "Man, this list is so typical Rachel. It's a little bit of goofy fun (VH1's Best Week Ever Video podcast, NPR: Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me!), a little more culture (Travel Channel Features, NPR: This American life, Discovery Channel Features), and a lot of enrichment (The Clark Howard Show, Penn Radio Show, NPR: This I Believe, Motivation to Move, 60 Minutes) just like you, Rachel." Ahh, how sweet. Nerdy, but sweet. She continues, "I have to say, though, you must be the ONLY twenty-six year old that podcasts three things from NPR." I know, I know. But that's just me.

I am partly finished with my new shoe organization system in preparation for the Great Doug Move-In:

Although it looks stupid, it saves a lot of much needed (after May) closet space. I totally stole the idea off of some MTV Cribs episode or something. I feel super dumb picking up pictures of shoes, though.

Yes, the weight drops, but it's really rude to ask me about it constantly.

But it doesn't really "need" to drop too much because I had to order my dress 2.5 sizes too big anyway. Why? No matter how small or fat I am, the waist on my dress will have to be let out because I have an abnormally short torso that causes all dresses to come up nearly to my neck. Ok, not really that horrible, but it is quite bad. Then, they'll have to "create" a waistline and boobs in the dress. Ugh. Why can't I just be average?

Oops, I just quasi-talked about wedding stuff.

Eh, what the heck. I picked up my dress today. There she hangs in a garment bag (emphasized because some of you thought that this was a wedding dress; it's a slip and bra):

Chocolate Research

2007-01-06T21:00:00.000-08:00

Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season 4: Disc 1 (2005). Unlike Dawson's Creek, I still very much enjoy this show! It's sad that no one seems to know about it.

Dawson's Creek: Season 6: Disc 2 (2002). Nothing to see here.

I'm busy, busy, busy, busy!

I have decided that all this wedding planning can be fun. And head-spinning. Here I am today performing hard-core research:

Seefood?

Ultimately, I think that although the concept of a chocolate fountain is cool, it lacks a LOT to be desired in the final product execution. It was super messy and only nominally delicious. I did, however, have a strong desire to stick my tongue under the running chocolate stream. Meghan's (my unofficial wedding planning) bribe of $5 was not sufficient good enough. This time.

I (Daddy) bought a dress tonight. They make you ring a stupid bell and the salesperson (who's paid partly on commission) yells "wooooo woooo" and then everyone around claps. The experience that leaves many brides crying with elation just made me want to hide behind the veil. I'm seriously just not that kind of bride. It's a dress. A DRESS! Nothing to "woooo woooo" over. Sticking my tongue under a stream of chocolate in public, however, would definitely deserve all manner of pomp.

2007 Rated Movies

2006-12-31T22:00:00.000-08:00

10/25/2007 - Evan Almighty (2007)
10/25/2007 - Knocked Up (2007)
10/25/2007 - Music and Lyrics (2007)
10/02/2007 - Home Room (2002)
10/02/2007 - The Nanny Diaries (2007)
09/14/2007 - High School Musical (2006)
09/02/2007 - The Last Kiss (2006)
06/02/2007 - The Holiday (2006)
09/02/2007 - Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
09/02/2007 - Deliver Us From Evil (2006)
09/02/2007 - Confetti (2006)
09/02/2007 - National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
08/17/2007 - Fast Food Nation (2006)
08/17/2007 - Club (1985)
08/17/2007 - The Da Vinci Code (2006)
08/17/2007 - The OH in Ohio (2006)
08/17/2007 - The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
08/17/2007 - Casino Royale (2006)
8/17/2007 - This Film Is Not Yet Rated (2006)
07/04/2007 - Boynton Beach Club (2005)
07/04/2007 - Reno 911!: Miami (2007)
07/04/2007 - Lady in the Water (2006)
07/04/2007 - Jesus Camp (2006)
06/12/2007 - Because I Said So (2007)
06/12/2007 - Maxed Out (2006)
06/12/2007 - The Office: Season 1 (2005)
06/12/2007 - Hollywood Homicide (2003)
05/03/2007 - The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
04/13/2007 - Dawson's Creek: Season 6: Disc 4 (2002)
04/13/2007 - Running With Scissors (2006)
04/13/2007 - TMNT (2007)
02/22/2007 - Deliver Us From Eva (2003)
02/11/2007 - America: Freedom to Fascism (2006)
02/11/2007 - The Perfect Score (2003)
02/11/2007 - Dawson's Creek: Season 6: Disc 3 (2002)
02/05/2007 - Employee of the Month
01/30/2007 - Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season 4: Disc 2 (2002)
01/30/2007 - Eight Below*
01/20/2007 - The Ant Bully*
01/20/2007 - Sketches of Frank Gehry (2005)*
01/06/2007 - Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season 4: Disc 1 (2005)
01/06/2007 - Dawson's Creek: Season 6: Disc 2 (2002)

I hate shopping!

2006-12-29T19:50:00.000-08:00

I keep telling people that I am not the average woman when it comes to many things. Among those, shopping. I HATE shopping. The item doesn't matter. Meghan and I went wedding dress shopping tonight at the Wal-Mart of bridal dresses. She assured me that I would have a blast, would cry, and would want to stay there forever. Oh, there were tears shed. By Meghan. Although I lasted longer than my usual 45 minute limit, I was an extremely uncomfortable, moderately unhappy, and worn out camper 2 hours later:

No, that's not a wedding dress. That's the hideous slip and bra they stick you in. I took off the slip and bra nearly 2 hours ago and my diaphragm still hurts from the inward pressing on my chest. Perhaps I would have shed a tear or two had I been able to feel my midsection.

Setting the date

2006-12-28T05:02:00.000-08:00

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) = 2/10. It's one of those Will Ferrell movies.

15:00 today: meeting with the preacher. Hopefully today's end result will be a set date on the calendar instead of my fumbled replies to inquiries that go something like "ummm...err...well...May is the only time we really can because master's degree classes and band camp, so umm...probably May."

Although this has literally been the best Christmas ever, I'm glad the holiday season is coming to a close. I have lots of oddities going on, but little time to actually sit down and write about them at present. Heck, I don't ever have that much time for my much loved movies. Check out my list for proof. I have a feeling it will be like this for the next few months, too.

Feliz....what?

2006-12-25T04:56:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows and loves that holiday song by Jose Feliciano, right? Not everyone.

Two years ago, I was in charge of buying mood-setting music for a Christmas party. Since the party was fiesta-themed (e.g., piñata, catered by On the Border, cacti centerpieces), music was to be appropriate for the occasion.

Before I purchased the music CD, however, one important person told me a very specific guideline for the music:

"Hey, whatever CD you get, make sure it has that Feliz La-Dee-Dah song on it."

After the CD arrived, we popped it in. Jose's beloved Christmas song lyrics remained the same for said person.

So, Feliz La-Dee-Dah, y'all!

I'll never be able to litsen to that song in quite the same way ever again.

Just one word

2006-12-20T13:12:00.000-08:00

I changed one tiny word in my profile. Let's see if anyone notices.

iPod city!

2006-12-18T21:28:00.000-08:00

Who Killed the Electric Car? (2006) = 4/10. Another boring documentary. This one made me have less respect for the car industry, though.

Material Girls (2006) = 2/10. Mind-numbing, dumb plot, moderately horrible acting...just the ticket for this stressful holiday month.

My company Christmas party ended in the best way possible:

Remember back in August how I made a total "city girl" of myself for not knowing what a gelding was? (Read post here.) Well, the party started (after a fantastic catered lunch, of course) with a "special gift" for yours truly. I was presented with this:

My gelding mishap was then told to all the company employees in case they hadn't already heard. Good thing I can laugh at myself.

Dirty Santa was a bust for me, I ended up with a red Ty Birthday Beanie Baby. I promptly gave that to an employee with a small grandchild.

The three door prizes, a Canon digital camera + SD card (better quality than mine), an 8 GB iPod Nano, and a portable DVD player were still up for grabs. I had the president, VP, and past-comptroller each draw for these prizes. I was the first name drawn. I won the Canon digital camera! The guy that won the iPod has no computer at home. He does, however, have two daughters who wanted an iPod (and live in another house). In the end, he traded with me because he figured his girls might fight over the iPod. So, I won the iPod!

On the way back to the office with my boss and another co-worker, I sent my dad a text message that told him of my lucky fortune. He called me after school and said, "Well, I'm not unhappy you won the iPod, but let's just say I'm crushed." I said, "huh?" He replied, "Don't ask silly questions, it's Christmas."

Doh!

Further down the road, my boss asked opinions on what to buy his wife for Christmas. Long conversation short, I sold my $250 iPod for $200. He won; I won.

I had already decided that if I received any of the $50 gift cards (and we all had about a 26% chance of getting a gift card) I would take Doug +/- family to dinner somewhere. Since I got 4 times amount the money, I just gave $50 to each brother. Merry early Christmas!

Doug and I open our Christmas present for each other tomorrow. I'm super excited. We're both thoughtful gift givers. Check out the ridiculous display of bow/tea I made him:

Party Wishes

2006-12-13T21:01:00.000-08:00

An Inconvenient Truth (2006) = 3/10. *long sigh* Where to begin? My unchanged view first- I agree the planet is warming and that it's probably not a good thing. I believe emissions aren't a good thing. The certainty that humans are all to blame is unclear. My views weren't changed with this movie at all. It did educate me quite a bit, though. Let's begin:

1) It was really boring, 2) It's hard to listen to a politician give this speech because we're most of us don't trust them anyway; interlace him with a group of the world's leading scientists on the issue and I'll start listening (or just take out the politician altogether), 3) When graphs/statistics are thrown in my direction, please cite sources for the data. Nerds like me (for whom statistics was our favorite class in college-no kidding!) really get a thrill when we can derive the same results you got, 4) Zero to little attention was paid to the actual data/evidence that humans are the cause. If someone could convince me of that, I'd be an easy sell to...well, I'm getting there, 5) Remember when you look at all those fancy graphs that CORRELATION DOES NOT EQUAL CAUSATION. But that was certainly implied over and over again. 6) Yes, I get that we're all supposed to go to the website to learn how to change our behaviors, but the movie mainly described the problems of global warming and left out how to fix the problem in realistic terms. 7) There was a lot of fluff pieces thrown in with his college lecture. And while I found it interesting Al Gore's daddy grew tobacco, the sidebar life stories distracted me. 8) Positive- there was a lot of really good information overall. I really enjoyed the explanations of why the climate change isn't good. I guess that about sums it up.

Over the Hedge (2006) = 5.5/10. I think must be getting a too old to appreciate the animated children's movie or something. But who doesn't love Wanda Sykes playing a skunk?

Tomorrow's our annual company Christmas party. I'm the official game planner for the third year in a row. Which basically means I have to stand in front of all the employees and try not to do/say something stupid. Last year went pretty well. Our giveaways are awesome this year. Here's hoping I end up with the iPod Nano and not the bottle opener.

Rachel is not a candidate for Best Week Ever this week

2006-12-04T21:26:00.000-08:00

Scoop (2006) = 8/10. Judging by the lower rating on IMDB and comments from my Netflix friends, apparently I am the only one who loved this movie. Biting sarcasm and quick quips are nearly always a big hit with me; Woody Allen's movies seem to lack neither.

Dawson's Creek: Season 6: Disc 1 (2002). I cannot even imagine how humiliated I would be if I accidentally sent a very personal email to an entire college campus.

Sommersturm (Summer Storm) (2004) = 7/10. Nothing can describe the weird feeling I experienced during the scene where one of the homophobic straight boys had to go over to the gay kids' camp (aptly named the Queerschlag) for a cooking utensil or spice (or something). The music playing in the background while the boy cautiously walked to the camp was Mahna Mahna. My third favorite muppet song now has a much more mature memory attached to it, replacing the memory of this song which included me sitting in front of the TV as a young girl eating hard-boiled eggs and sausage patties.

~~~~~~
3 stories
~~~~~~
I am so so sad. I had what I was going to buy Doug for Christmas all planned out, including a cutesy/corny little goose chase, only to find out that his mother has already purchased the same thing.

*sigh*

NOW I have to find something he wants but it just won't be as good. He's extremely hard to buy gifts for! Since he has a fair amount of disposable income, anything he wants under like $200 can be an impulse purchase. This leaves little for the girlfriend, on a definite budget, to buy. I have a few ideas, but plan B is just that.
~~~~~~
I thought I lost a company credit card today at Target. I was at the checkout and the woman was 75% finished scanning the $300 worth of office/Christmas supplies when I discovered the card missing from my purse. And pockets. And coat. Fortunately, it was in an impossible crack between the center console and the front seat. Unfortunately, I had already made the call to my boss to tell him I lost his card. I had to have the cashier "suspend" my stuff while I went on a wild goose chase searching for the card. I didn't find the card until I was ready to leave (I ended up paying with my personal credit card and the company will reimburse me.) I called my boss and told him I found it. I finally took a breath. Crying in the parking lot ensued. Big redneck parked across from me saw. And stared. Jerk.
~~~~~~
I got discovered at Starbucks Saturday. Remember last year how I told you about how everytime I go to a food place where they ask for a name, I tell them something ridiculous? (See here for reference.) My usual Starbucks name is Matilda. I used that Saturday while ordering my very first gingerbread latte. But it didn't go as planned:

Barrista: Oh cool your name's Matilda? That's such a great name.

Me: Umm...well, my name is Matilda when I am at Starbucks.

Barrista: [raised eyebrow] What? So, it's not your name?

Me: No, I make up a silly name when I'm asked at places like Starbucks and Fuddruckers.

Barrista: Well, that's....interesting. [I handed the barrista my credit card.]

Me: I'm a boring gal and this is one of my only forms of entertainment. Sometimes I try to make up a really stupid name just to see if I can get a "what-in-the-world-kinda-name?" look from the order-taker.

Barrista: But why? Well, what IS your real name? [looks down at my credit card] OH...well I can understand why you'd want to change your name.

Help, I need a plastic sack now!

2006-11-25T20:29:00.000-08:00

The Bridge of San Luis Rey (2005) = 2/10. It was SO boring, but the preview I saw made it look full of suspense. Plus, it's one of those movies where the people wear corsets that shove the boobies up really high. And usually that means I'll like the movie.

You, Me and Dupree (2006) = 7/10. This is just my type of movie. I've lost a lot of respect for Kate Hudson the last few months, but she still remains one of my favorite actresses.

My Thanksgiving was normal this year. I had Thanksgiving breakfast at Doug's parent's and then we went to my grandparents' for lunch. We were so stuffed from breakfast that neither of us ate too much at lunch. Thus, this became the first Thanksgiving I ate zero turkey.

I did manage to find an oddity for y'all, though.

In case of a plastic bag emergency...

my grandmother's got it covered.

I just can't imagine a scenario where I would actually need 500 plastic bags.

The Christmas/Birthday List

2006-11-23T21:34:00.000-08:00

The parents actually need one. But...

The boyfriend claims to be clueless even though I am constantly saying things like "yeah, that would make a nice Christmas/birthday present." Items marked with * are things I KNOW I've hinted at before, Doug.

(Anything new I add will be in red. This list is in NO particular order.)

- A cheap food processor/chopper. Like this one. Or this. I dunno. What I do know is that I feel quite barbaric using a platic bag and hammer to chop pecans for this recipe.

-Any shade of Stila eyeshadow. See here and here. Shades vary slightly on each site.*

-Ear bags or ear warmers similar to these. Or these. A dark color so that they don't look dirty. What I don't want is something like this. My ear is either too long or too fat and so there's always a part that sticks out and gets cold. Furthermore, they don't provide that much warmth and I usually feel the wind blowing through them. I saw some Earbags at Academy.

-A jewelery box. One that I can hang stuff on and has a place for earrings.*

-A new projection clock. Not THAT one, mind you. They can be found at Target for like $15. The LCD lights on my mine have slowly been dying over the past few years. So now, when it's 3:16 am and I open my eyes and try to see what time it is, I have no clue. Is that 2? 5? Too tired...meh.. [roll over and back to sleep I go]*

- Perfume/spray-on smell good stuff that you think will smell good on me. That doesn't come from Bath & Body Works.*

- Old Navy Yoga pants. Size Medium.

-Two small or medium palettes.

-Some microwavable foot warmer thingies like these.

-A really soft throw blanket. Solid color. Or more specifically, one that lacks a stupid design.*

-A deep tissue massage performed by a registered massage therapist. Preferably a male. Yes, a male. What? They have bigger and stronger hands.*****

-A camera bag for my digital camera. I have a Canon PowerShot A80.*

-A National Geographic Genographic Project Kit. World's biggest nerd, I know.

I can always use:

-Netflix gift subscription
-Blockbuster online gift subscription
-Blockbuster gift cards (although if you're going to go this route, the online subscriptions are a better deal)
~~~~~~
For my information (so I don't forget)- With my Christmas bonus money this year, I'm getting:

-An 80GB iPod, mainly for storage so that when my computer crashes next time I won't freak out. And because I figure it's time for me to get one since the trend has been around for a few years. I'm always the last to get stuff.

-Flannel sheets. Because I'm curious.

-A new comforter/duvet/quilt/something to cover the top because mine is slightly falling apart even though I actually didn't buy a cheap one.

One Less Bowl to Clean

2006-11-20T20:48:00.000-08:00

Monster House (2006) = 6/10. I'm pretty sure this would have scared me as a kid. How can you not like a movie that features an old man yelling at kids to get off the lawn? I hate that they made the annoying kid chubby, though. Although as a child I did know some really annoying fat kids.

Rory O'Shea Was Here (Inside I'm Dancing) (2004) = 8/10. Ireland + muscular dystrophy + independence + snarky Rory. That's quite a combination. This was so realistic to what disabled people might experience, it was quite painful to watch. In fact, it was so realistic I looked up to see if the two main actors had muscular dystrophy or not.

I broke another piece of dinnerware over the weekend. This time, it was nearly justified. I had a couple of clean soup bowls on the counter drying (because I think an actual dish rack is a waste of space). I picked up one of the bowls to put in the cupboard and gave it a quick peer in to make sure there were no particles inside. Indeed, there was something inside- a small spider. I am not generally scared of spiders. I am, however, terrified of some surprises. One short "eeeaaaaaahhh" and unclenching of the fist later and I have one less bowl.

And this is why we buy the cheap Target stuff.

The Ballsy Christian

2006-11-17T21:28:00.000-08:00

The Wild (2006) = 2/10. Holy cow! It was really that awful. How in the world did Disney go from Toy Story and Lion King, movies nearly all generations enjoy (or at least they were big hits in the Harden household across our generations) to something this lame? It wasn't funny (I laughed once. Literally.), the plot wasn't original (so much like Lion King), and the characters were just meh. Say something nice...the animation is pretty and the lion roar sounds big.

Back in April 2005, I took a picture of a moose head hitch outside Woodland Hills Mall (post here):

On that day, I met up with my friend Jason whom I've literally known since birth. No, I do mean birth as he visited me when I was still in the hospital. He was a mere 6 months old. Anyway, I showed Jason the picture of the moose hitch and he said "well, that's not as bad as some I've seen [Jason lives in Ft. Smith, Arkansas]. I've seen some that have balls hanging from the hitch."

NO WAY!!!

Yes, indeed:

I didn't even have to search far to find this. It was dangling from a vehicle parked outside my office. Thus, presumably I could work near this ballsy individual. Although I didn't notice it when I took the pictures, a wider view reveals another interesting bit:

Upon mega zoom, the pink-highlighted decal is a cowboy and horse? praying at the foot of the cross. Having either the balls OR the cross decal, fine. Having both balls and the cross, not so much. But I can't really pinpoint exactly why having both makes me so uneasy.

And one more thing...

They're not even anatomically correct. Last time I took a sex ed class (which has actually never) I learned that they weren't usually even.

No, the name of the song is...

2006-11-14T21:51:00.000-08:00

Arrested Development: Season 3: Disc 2 (2005). End of series. There's a big empty space that now needs to filling. What on earth will I watch now? I really loved this series (that must be watched in order) and will probably watch it again at some point. Even with Doug next to me, I'm sure a lot of the sublte humor was lost. It'll take multiple viewings to fully appreciate its depth. Oh yeah, thanks for turning me on to this show, Giselle!

Lonesome Jim (2005) = 5.5/10. I love Steve Buscemi and this movie was essentially like watching his characters act. It's the first time I could totally pick up on the director's personality. However, the subject matter was so super depressing, it overshadowed the subtle humor and great acting.

My computer crashed Friday. And because my supreme diagnostic testing only includes peering into the CPU to check for something obviously unplugged or broken/exploded and blowing canned air on the fans in the hopes that will somehow fix things, I spent $105 on repair. Thank God that it was "only" a broken power supply. Have I backed up anything the last 2 years? Working on it now! Huge lesson learned! Renaming photo files from the last year sucks, though.

The Blue Man Group Friday:

They're a little too, I dunno, post-modern or something for me. Tracy Bonham doesn't really mesh well as an opening act. And the actual music performed by BMG was bleh. All of the original (read: poor colors) photos taken (mainly by Geoffrey) from the evening are posted here. Nothing really worth seeing.

I did manage to make a minor idiot of myself at the concert, though. One of the closing songs was a familiar melody...

Josh: Hey Geoff, they're playing DuhDuh....O'....ley [At least that's what I heard].

Geoff: Yeah

[30 seconds later]

Me: [to Josh] Hey, they're playing a cover of Teenage Wasteland, right?

Josh: Yeah, DuhDuh....O'....ley.

Me: Nuh-uh. That's totally Teenage Wasteland.

Josh: It says teenage wasteland in the song, but it's called Baba O'Riley.

Me: Nuh-uh. Hey, Geoff....this song's called Teenage Wasteland, right?

Geoff: No, it's Baba O'Riley.

Me: [having a major paradigm shift as I've just been, for the very first time, corrected by my much younger brothers on a subject I generally know much more about and I realize that this isn't going to be the last time I'll be corrected ] OMG! Are you for real? I'm so embarrassed. I've been calling it that for so long and no one's ever corrected me.

They were nice enough not to laugh, though. Good thing, too. Because even though they might be taller than me now, I'm pretty sure I can still kick their tushies. Ahhh, the power of weightlifting.

My Political Compass

2006-11-10T13:47:00.000-08:00

The Break-Up (2006) = 4/10. I didn't particularly hate this movie, but I really wnated to punch Vince Vaughn the entire time for being such a jerk. Maybe it's because I've been in a few bad relstionships before. *spoiler alert* I thought I read somewhere that they reshot the ending and made them get back together. But that wasn't on the ending on the DVD nor the alternative ending on the special features. And I'm thankful because it would have just made me mad if she ended up crawling back to him.

Dawson's Creek: Season 5: Disc 4 (2001). Almost done with the series. Almost done.

North & South: Book II: Disc 3 (1986) = 7.5/10. Not as good as Book I, but hoop skirts will always have a special place in my heart.

North & South: Book II: Disc 2 (1986). I actually finished this sometime inthe last month but forgot to put it on here.

In the event you are curious where I stand politically, here's my chart. Some of you will be surprised because I live my life quite differently than the stereotypical left-leaning, libertarian-leaning Oklahoman.

Tonight, I will be attending a concert for depressed people with the brothers. Hopefully, some pictures will follow.

Umm, thanks? (6)

2006-11-08T21:34:00.000-08:00

American Dreamz (2006) = 5.5/10. Quite an amusing satire at times, but overall a little boring.

Prelude: tonight my daddy called me with my very first "hey, mom thinks she saw one of your classmates on the news. Yeah, this girl was arrested for making Fake IDs." Oy! Firsts aren't always a good thing.*

A few months ago, I took the advice of a friend and went to a relatively new nail salon to get a pedicure. It was ten times cleaner than the other salon I usually go to and the nail tech was being super attentive and gentle during the part where they take the nippers and whack off part of your nails on the side. My butt clenched a lot less during this part which can sometimes hurt if done incorrectly.

Anyway...about 75% into the pedicure I start thinking that I will permanently switch my business to this place. Then comes the foot/leg massage part. Nail tech starts rubbin' my feet/legs and about 3 minutes into it she said "Oh, do you exercise lots?"

Me: Well, I don't know if I exercise a "lot" [in my mind, exercising a "lot" means training for a marathon or something], but I do cardio 3-5 times a week and at least 30 minutes each session. Usually longer.

Nail tech: Oh, cuz you have BIIIIIIIIG legs.

Good, relaxed feelings gone. Bad body image feelings sinking in.

Later that evening, Doug said of the incident with a moderate scoff, "I'm sure she meant your have big leg muscles, Rachel."

Regardless, someone needs to fill non-English speakers in on the finer points of synonyms. Especially concerning something that made me feel like a cow.

I actually do have muscly legs, though.

*Story here if you seriously care that much.

He's now only a hop, skip, and a slow straight road away

2006-11-05T20:45:00.000-08:00

Dawson's Creek: Season 5: Disc 3 (2001). Even if my professors were as hot as Mr. Wilder, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't kiss any of them.

Well, it's official: the boyfriend now has his own place. And by "own place" I mean he shares an apartment with a very cool college buddy. I have a feeling the next six months will be quite amusing. One annoying thing, though, is that his apartment is a 0.64 miles drive AFTER you enter the complex. At 10 mph, 0.64 miles enduces pain. Good thing it's only 2 miles away from my apartment.

The Flying Clippers

2006-10-31T21:14:00.000-08:00

Thank You For Smoking (2005) = 7.5/10. Pretty darn funny.

Dawson's Creek: Season 5: Disc 2 (2001). That episode "Four Scary Stories" didn't make sense at all. Presumably if you really had something that scary happen to you, you'd run off and tell your closest friends, right? Yet they sat around repeating super scary stories that were new to each person. Yeah, I don't think so.

College friend Kelly says, " I'm just waiting for your post about the newly single ryan phillippe ;-) "

Honestly, I'm very sad. My jaw dropped when I read about it on CBB. I have a habit of telling my co-worker Cindy disturbing/shocking celebrity news as it arises. This time it was, "Cindy, Armageddon is upon us." Her jaw dropped, too.

In fact, I was so distraught yesterday....

At work, I am currently using a wiggle pen. Here's my wiggle pen on my desk (note the fingernail clippers at the top tip of the pen, they come into play shortly):

You probably have to see the picture bigger to see the clippers. Click here for that. Not only does the top flop around when writing, but it also contains a magnet. So, the wiggle pen can be hung up. And it looks quite hilarious:

I think it reminds me of Snuffleupagus. Ok....OR a penis. Take your pick. I like my wiggle pen, but it has a nasty tendency of sticking to/picking up metal objects.

Yesterday, I was sitting at my desk at work minding my own business when the mail carrier comes in. He has a letter for me to sign for. I figure he's in a hurry since all mail carriers seem to have a huge workload. So, I grabbed the pen as quickly as I could. The fingernail clippers (from above, remember?) attached themselves to the top of the pen and catapulted onto my eyebrow. Mail carrier most definitely saw, but did not laugh at me. What a nice guy! You can call me Miss Grace.

Wrong Color

2006-10-25T21:51:00.000-07:00

Art School Confidential (2006) = 3/10. I've just never "understood" artsy people. Or at least what I perceive as the flakiness many art people I've met seem to have. Then again, Doug isn't flakey and I suppose I have to lump musical instrument playing abilities into the pot of "art." However, if I do that then technically I might be considered artsy since I took piano lessons for like 8 years. Holy moly! Maybe I'm a flake and don't even know it! Oh yeah, back to the movie: it was pretty boring. There is a flailing penis scene a nekkid girl scene. And like always, the guy is not so great looking but the girl is.

Back in April, I talked about the FedEx man who always catches me eating. (See post here.) He came into the office today and, shocker, I was eating lunch. A whole tub of roasted garlic hummus slathered over two loaves of whole wheat pita bread. Seems like a reasonable lunch, even though it's quite odd to many.

So, FedEx guy leans over the bar a tad and asks, "Hey, wha is that chu eatin' there?"

Me: [flashing my sheepish, "don't judge me" smile] Hummus on pita.

FedEx: HUMMUS? Girl, you ain't the right color to be eatin' that.

Unable to come up with something quick (as usual), I simply opened my mouth and said, "Well, I think it's fantastic tasting."

By that reasoning, I should only be eating things like potatoes and bratwursts due to my Irish/German heritage. Incidentally, I love potatoes in practically every form (save salad) and my dad grills bratwursts about six times per year or so.

Perhaps I should have suggested he only eat chitlins and collard greens? (Cue the animation of the boy saying "That's racist!")
~~~~~~
And speaking of hummus and pita bread, The Great Beano Experiment II sucked. 5 beanos right before eating (more than the required amount) + a whole tub of hummus + two loaves of whole wheat pita = unpleasant wind. Although possibly not as much. I'm still not buying into this supplement.

Just in time for the holidays (The Irony TV)

2006-10-24T21:16:00.000-07:00

Dawson's Creek: Season 5: Disc 1 (2001). Can't believe they killed him off. So shocked. And slightly upset because my brother Joshua told me before I had a chance to watch it. I'm officially ready to get this series over with.

Carlos Mencia: No Strings Attached (2006) = 7.5/10. I really wish I had the forethought to get this man's autograph when I saw him perform in Houston at The Improv. Still funny stuff, but it all kinda sounds the same once you hear it once.

Growing up Mommy and Daddy (mainly Daddy) taught me to never be a damsel in distress. And for the most part, I never am. But there is that one minor area. Observe:

Fix it...just fiiiiiiiix IT! Well, what's wrong with it, Rachel? I don't know, but fiiiiiiiix iiiiit. Actually, that's a tad on the dramatic side. Please just slap me if I actually become that whiny.

Everything was fine and dandy when Doug and I watched a DVD last night. As soon as he left, I popped in my Dawson's Creek DVD (and therein may lie the issue) only to find the screen looked like it had been shoved down about an inch. [Whatever. It'll be gone tomorrow.] Yeah well, it's not. After consulting six men, no one can tell me what's wrong with my TV over the phone. But it's none too promising. Four of the men, however, asked if I had tried hitting the TV yet. Why is that always the answer for men?

What a crappy time to be very frugal and probably have to buy a TV. If I get something cheap, I'll just have to buy an HD in two years.

Here comes the irony:

I've been to all the major electronic stores about 5 times each with Doug over the past few months. He's going to buy a big fancy something or another TV. He's explained to me the differences between LCD, DLP, and plasma many times over. Each time, I go glossy-eyed in about 4 seconds flat. Much like when Daddy talks cell phone to me. And apparently I need to learn higher standards for TV. Right now, all I care about is:

*Is the TV color?
*Will Reese Witherspoon's head be at least 1/32 the size of mine?

Yes. Yes. Cool. Then, that one.

Thus, although Doug is the one buying the fancy TV, Rachel might be the one who actually needs a TV.

Another crappy thing- no males will be in my apartment before Saturday. So glad I have Power DVD.

Doug's birthday dinners are a joke

2006-10-22T19:58:00.000-07:00

I've decided that Doug's birthday dinners will probably always be the culmination of bad timing:

-Last year I wanted to take him to Pomodori's for his birthday dinner. I wanted to see a menu before we went, so the day before the dinner was to occur I called the restaurant. No answer. The day "of" the dinner I called Pomodori's all day long. No answer. [Hmm...maybe they open at 5:00?] 5:45 I call the restaurant. They answer! And they were closed that night for a special function. Boo!

-This year I suggested that we eat at Embers Steakhouse because he's wanted to go there since practically date one. I'm glad I did the reseach one this one because, as it turns out, Embers closed two to six months ago.

Instead Doug chose to eat at one of our favorite restaurants, White Lion Pub. To my knowledge, it's the only place in Tulsa where one can get English food (Patty's and Kilkenny's do not count--they're Irish). This time he opted to get the cheese and cracker appetizer. (He's been into cheeses lately.) What a brilliant idea that was! It led to our discovery of what may be the best cheese ever:

Wait, Derby? Hopefully there aren't pieces of hat or horse in the cheese.

And in case you're wondering what he got for his birthday, I've been slightly unlazy and have started uploading more photos on my Flickr account. And add note. And geotags. See his gifts here. The whole account is still a mess and you've seen 99% of the pictures as they are all from the blog right now. Eventually I'll get more up.

Cinnamon Bun Heven is Heavenly

2006-10-20T21:34:00.000-07:00

Michael Moore's The Awful Truth: Season 1: Disc 2. Disc 1 was quite amusing. I mean, come on, what can be more ironic/funny/sad/biting than a group of voicebox cigarette smokers singing Christmas carols at corporate headquarters of a big tobacco company. See video of it here. Man, I love YouTube! But the second half of the season was mostly unfunny.

The week in review:

- Brother Josh(ua) is Student of the Month. He looks thrilled, too.

-So, the new Cinnamon Bun Heaven from Bath & Body Works is correctly named.

It's way more aromatic in the shower than philosophy's cinnamon buns. As a shampoo, it's ok. But very expensive. I asked Doug smell my hair Tuesday evening and had him guess the scent cold turkey. Five long-winded, allergy-suffering sniffs later, his final answer was "uhhhh....smoky chocolate?" Apparently it's not cinnamony enough. Alternatively, I need to distance myself a little more as I walk through my work's office building entrance as to avoid the puffers.

- Monday morning at the office, the coffee ran out. I decided to make more. The act of me brewing coffee at work probably only happens once per month. I figured someone would walk in there expecting the pot to be empty and be plesantly surprised to find a fresh pot. Except...I forgot to add water. Doh!

- I bought some beano Monday with high hopes of offending less often in the future. One entire can of Ranch Style Beans and enough wind to keep my kite afloat, I'm willing to say beano blows. At least with this particular food.

- I went to the high school football game last night (because I'm "forced" to keep my mom company in the stands) and wore my red "dork cap" for most of the evening. I walked up to my father and brother along the fence. I remained silent. Standard for my childhood (and adult) history, I attempted to put my cold nose on my dad's neck. This isn't the first time I have stuck my cold nose on him. In public. But this time he backed away with a terrified look on his face. I said, "what? whaddid I do?" He looked me straight in the eye and said, "Oh,. it's Rachel." I think the dork cap needs to be renamed to something like "the face eraser".

D's Silver Birthday

2006-10-16T21:07:00.000-07:00

Happy 25^th Birthday to Doug!

It looks like I went totally overboard with the gifts:

But it's quite deceptive.

I went to the mall tonight and purchased what will hopefully be heaven in a plastic bottle:

While at the mall I ran into a person I never ever ever wanted to see again in my entire life. Amazingly, I didn't puke and we actually had a semi-decent conversation. At least it was decent and cordial enough for two people who have been in a real fight. I might add she pretty much had to be nice to me because she was behind the counter and their were witnesses. So many frightful memories for what was "supposed" to be my best semester at college.

The Lease Release

2006-10-13T21:42:00.000-07:00

A Prairie Home Companion (2006) = 7/10. A little on the bizarre side. But I laughed a lot at the corny jokes.

I have said for a time that I do not particularly like drama in my life. Yet somehow drama seems to occasionally find me despite the fact I was doing nothing wrong. I'm sure that's the story of everyone's life. Anyway...

One balmy evening in June 2006, I sat in bed completing a Sudoku puzzle when I had a thought: If I moved into this apartment June 2004 and signed a 13 month lease and then another 13 month lease, that means my lease should be coming up pretty soon. I hope they don't raise my rent.

Fast forward October 7^th. I needed to put some of my pay stubs into their special spot. And while I was putting those away, it occured to me that my lease agreement was also in the same spot. Let's see...Shelby vet visits, car insurance information, college diploma...I should frame and hang that up some time, here we are, lease agreement. Addendum to lease...

What I read nearly made me puke (until I realized it wasn't as bad as it sounded. At least I'm hoping).

What???? My lease was up August 31^st!?!?!?!?!?!

There was no notice ever placed on my door, no phone call, nothing. I paid rent and my portion of the utilities for the month of September and October. Nothing was said. My immediate fear was the thought of coming home from work one day to find all of my personal possessions on the front lawn. Then others told me, "No way, that can't happen. They have to have a forcible entry & detainer and that gets posted straight to your door and you would have [15/30/45/60] days notice."

I know what you're thinking: Gosh, Rachel, why don't you just tell the leasing office that they made a mistake? That's a thought. Except that it's not at all my responsibility. Furthermore, I have a feeling my rent is likely to go up $30. In the very least, my rent won't go down any. Why bother?

It's all quite comical to me. It will be much more so if this continues to go on for more than six months.

I can't be considered a squatter. But there has to be a term for this situation.

In other news, Christmas gifts are already trickling in to the quasi-squatted apartment:

You have no idea how badly I want to take these out and built something. Darn protective plastic bags on the inside.