Wednesday, April 27, 2005

10 Things I Hate about Spring

I love spring, it's my favorite time of year. It means the icky coldness is over. However, there are some things about warmer weather that drive me insane-er:

  • About three times/year, I will quickly open up my shower curtain to take a shower and a huge legged spider will be waiting for me in there spider in there that will make me jump and yelp. It's not that I'm terribly afraid of spiders, it's just an unexpected thing to see and scares the bejesus out of me. Mr. Spider has never made an appearance in the shower during winter.
  • Modesty seems to be thrown out the window. Specifically what irks me are the 350 pound women that seem to think it is perfectly appropriate to show off 4 inches of midriff while being nowhere near water. Ditto on 7 year olds of any body type/size who are allowed to do the same. Not MY child!
  • The return of silverfish. Usually seen in conjuction with me picking up a towel or an article of clothing on the floor. Occasionally found an hour after putting on said clothing item. "Why is my leg itching SO much?" shake shake...OMG!!!, it was in my leg this whole time! ewyuckgrosssick!
  • Blonde/red hair, blue eyed women with a history of deadly skin cancer in the family constantly tanning. DON'T come complaining to me when you get melanoma in 20 years. It will be harder for me to feel sorry for you.
  • Self-tanners. I can't figure it out! Neither can the editors at Allure accoring to this issue I just read. And the ones I have figured out make my skin smell really odd for a week.
  • Eating outside. Too many bugs, but everyone always seems up for a picnic. I much prefer the non-mosquitoness of my kitchen. But you'll never hear me complain about going to a picnic because I enjoy the banter and the food. So, invite me to your BBQ, please!
  • My inability to style my hair UP into anything that looks good AND keeps my neck cool. I can barely manage a simple ponytail. I'm going to blame this one on being a lefty. Yeah.
  • TV. Nothing but reruns galore and shows that look good on the commercials, but end up sucking (e.g., The Hamptons)
  • The superoverproduction of oil on my face. It's bad enough in winter, being oily AND flaky, but in the summer I use these things as often as toilet paper.
  • Flip flops=good. Stupid women in Wal-Mart, Target, EVERY PLACE running over my freshly pedicured toes with their carts, heels=makes Rachel want to slap 'em. This never happens in winter for some reason when I'm wearing my clodhoppers.

7 comments:

chris a said...

Self tanning lotions. Just another reminder of how lazy people can be. I have a friend that does this. I just dont have the heart to tell her she looks funny and orange. Maybe I should just get a few passes to a tanning bed and invite her?

Im a great cook. I love cooking outside too. But, you are right eating outside is a bit of a hassle. I have a few tiki torches that I bought a lowes to keep bugs away. Seems to work.

The reruns that I can watch over and over again are Seinfeld, Cheers, and Everybody loves raymond. Reruns that I cant ever see again are Rosanne, yes dear, and please no more will and grace. Although that one women with that cute squeaky voice is cool.

You know, I just cant wear flip flops. It dont feel right. Maybe its the fact that im a size 13 or that im just so use to the constriction of my other shoes.

Rachel said...

I have seen every episode of Will & Grace in order during the last 8 months. Jack is da man!

I have also seen every episode of Friends (I didn't even really like it, but you're stick just to see what happened), Sex & the City, Joey (ugh..really don't like it...but it's sort of a continuation of Friends), Penn & Teller: Bullshit, and I'm working on seeing all of Seinfeld (I'm midway through season 6 righ tnow) and South Park, CSI, CSI: Miami, and CSI: NY. I'll take suggestions for what to watch next. King of the Hill has been suggested.

Even if you put up the tiki torches there are still wind issues.

chris a said...

I have seen every episode of Sex and the City. When I lived with my bestfriend and his girlfirend. That is all she would watch. She had every DVD. Up to the last season. So there may be a few I missed on the last season, but I did make it a point to watch the last show... After so long of watching something you just want to know how it ends.

Never did see Joey. CSI and those other show like that are just not my cup of tea.

King of the Hill is over rated. Sure it has his funny parts but not hilarious.

Wind? hmm, you got me on that one. You know what you need? A sun deck. That would bring both worlds together.

Rachel said...

And if things work out with Christina and me being roommates, I WILL have a sundeck. How 'bout them apples?

chris a said...

How cool!! Im trying to get a place in Fayetteville with a few freinds that I have lived with before. It too has a sundeck. It also has these awesome floors they are stained cement with carvings in them threw out the whole house.

This is so funny, the lady who showed us the house. Gave us this very funny look. Because there are five of us. Three females and two males. and we are all single. It was like she didnt believe or she thought that we where nuts.

It was funny, but at the sametime. It bugged me. Living in middle America with all these hardcore religious conservatives just kills me. But, I suck it up and treat them the way I want to be treated. I hope this lady proves me wrong and we get the house.

ET said...

I wrote you a beautiful, eloquent dissertation on the topics discussed in your blog last night...right before the storm knocked the computer out. Unfortunately, it was on "preview" when it died. In the interest of saving time, I will now summarize what I can remember of that discussion and commentary:

1. Watch SATC and Law & Order
2. Everything else sucks (except Monk on Friday nights...that's actually quite good)
3. Self-tanners: try Bare Escentuals...they allegedly have one that does not leave you smelling like an industrial waste product
4. Chris Noth is HOT HOT HOT
5. Carrie really does sabotage every relationship she is in
6. Seasons 1-4 look quite crappy in rerun after you've seen Seasons 5 & 6 (SATC, of course)
7. Flip flops BAD. Birkenstock SPARTA (in bronze or gold) and FUJI (in the cute Parisian print) GOOD.
8. Both sandals can be had from Zappos.com
9. Zappos.com is the best shoe site ANYWHERE! Free shipping (always upgraded to next day) plus free returns up to a YEAR plus price guarantee. They totally rock!
10. You WILL need a credit card (or bank card). = (

ET said...

Oh, and HOW do people who use self-tanners reach their backs? Do they just go anti-orange on the back region? I totally do not understand this. And I am WHITE WHITE WHITE so I don't even try. I did see a salesgirl at the mall the other day who had clearly used self-tanner. She had streaky upper arms. Nice. An interesting idea in theory, but not so much in application. I would suggest going to one of those places (if we have any here) that does the spray-on tanner.