Saturday, April 23, 2005

I ♥ you, too, baby!

I'll talk about the Upside to Fast Food Nation after the final edition of the S.P.P. tomorrow and this moment in redneck history:

Friday I get a phone call at work from Daddy at 4:15 saying "Meet us at Cafe Olé when you get off work." Free meal at a new (to me) place in Tulsa? Absolutely! So, I make my way north through traffic and for three miles I'm behind this Dodge 4x4 truck. It has two exhaust pipe-looking thingies coming out of either side near the front of the truck bed, behind the cab. I really have no clue if that's what they are, but that's what they look like. The guy driving the Dodge was...well...he looked like he could have used a shave, a shower, and a change into clean clothes. So, I'm driving behind him and what do I see? Not one, but TWO bumper stickers on either side of his license plate that say "I ♥ My Wife." I could understand if it was on a teeny car and the guy looked like less of a burly man, but on a 4x4 with a manly man at the wheel? And TWO bumper stickers? Is the wife really that insecure? Or do you (and/or wifey) think that your fugly truck will attract SOOOO many women that you decide to announce to the world that you're taken before any bright ideas pop into our heads? Because my thoughts when I saw the stickers after seeing the guy were NOT, "Darn it! He's not single!" And how about the Mrs.? Maybe this was the guy's idea to put these stickers on? I'm trying to picture my imaginary redneck husband (that I wouldn't be with because he was a redneck but work with me here) coming in and saying "Honey (pick nose, scratch crotch) I luvvv ya so much I done decided to 'nounce it to tha world. Come and look at my perty truck now!"

8 comments:

chris a said...

ET,
I downloaded the first chapter of "me head" But my computer will not read the format. After going back and reading the web page. I found that it was a card-counting scheme involving MIT students. Is this what you wanted me to read about? If so I have already read alot about those students... I think Ive seen a documentary on the history channel too.

Everyone,

Hey, I got this off another blog, but its so funny that I have to pass it along. Its a "random" generator of Vin Diesel thoughts.

If your humor is anything like mine youll laugh ....if not youll be offended. either way, ITS FUNNY!

Just keep hitting reload, Hilarious!! Like...

Vin Diesel has the secret to Cold Fusion but refuses to share until Saved By The Bell is put back on television.

The word "wank" is onomatopoetic, based on the sound of Vin Diesel masturbating.

Vin Diesel gets high by snorting small Canadian children.

When Vin Diesel accidentally invented cancer, his response was simply, "I've made a huge mistake.

Vin Diesel's ejaculation can kill a man at 100 yards with pinpoint accuracy

Vin Diesel once played a prank on Mother Teresa by killing her.

He once extracted a 100 watt light bulb from a woman's vagina by inserting an Ikea floor lamp and screwing it onto the bulb's threads.

http://www.4q.cc/vin/

ET said...

Chris,
NO, that was not what you were supposed to come up with for "Me Head." I will see what I can find and get back to you on this. MIT students are NOT funny.

Everyone,
My ex-husband wanted to put an I (how do you do the heart thing?) My Wife sticker on his CAMARO. Pulease! Turns out, he has huge security issues. And now he's having them somewhere else. Maybe the stickers on the truck are this yahoo's (my dad always called the guys who wore their trucker hats into restaurants "yahoos") way of being ironic? Then again, that would give him some credit toward knowing what it IS to be ironic...so it's hard to say.

ET said...

Oh, and Chris, (shameless self promotion here) since you always seem to have something to say, you should visit my blog which is linked to Rachel's page at NEW YORK STATE OF MIND. Not quite as quirky as Rachel, but lots of things for you to be opinionated about. = )

Chris A said...

Sweet! I shall make my way over to that part of the web.

Let me just say! I would NEVER put a sticker of any kind on my camaro! My friend had a load of stickers on her camaro. (the back window, atleast it wasnt the paint) When I asked her about it. She just said that it fit her personality. How could I argue with that?

Rachel said...

Oh boy, I'm "quirky." Not that this is a revelation for me, but I'll just smile and take it as a compliment. :)

And re: Vin Diesel thoughts, I guess I need to watch more of his movies/see more of his interviews because none of them really made me think "Yes! That's exactly like he would think."

Chris A said...

Unconventional is good. right? yeah im right.


Actually, its mostly just making fun of him. (vin)you could but anyone name in place of these comments. Like Rachel or ET or Chris... yeah haha

BKDotCom said...

BKDotCom's quick html lesson
search for "html entities"
you might find a page like this one

To make a ♥ you'd type ♥ and to make a little boobie/butt (ω) would be ω

ET said...

Quirky is good, Rachel. Sort of like "odd," "peculiar" or "eccentric" but in a fun way. LOL. And we all know that's good! Oh, and NO sticker ever touches my vehicle. Well, except for my parking I.D. (on the inside of my windshield), but without that I would be ticketed ALL OVER the university, not just in the fire lanes which USED to be temporary parking.