Friday, April 01, 2005

Jerky neighbor

I officially met my upstairs neighbor last night. He told me to turn my stereo down in a very rude and threatening voice. Keep in mind that this was the first time I've ever seen this man's face. Sure, I will! But only if you'll stop throwing Corona bottles, cigars, cigarette butts, and what looks to be barf off your 3rd floor balcony. While you're at it, how about not having sex in your living room so loudly that I get embarrased when a guy I barely know (or one I know fairly well) is over here. Or my teenage brothers. I have a hard time explaining that one. How about not running from the bedroom to the kitchen? Your mac & cheese won't burn that fast, I promise. How about not bouncing a basketball in the kitchen while you're in there checking your mac & cheese? And lastly, stop flicking your cigarette/cigar/pot/whatever sparks down the little holes on the balcony floor that make my dog yelp. Asshole. The concerning part, though, is that when he asked me, the stereo was on 10, which is generally the lowest I ever put it. That means that he's probably wanted to complain for a while now and just hasn't. And he didn't even say "my name is Bob" it was just "neighbor from upstairs". Doesn't he realize that showering someone with kindness is generally a good way to be on someone's good side and a first step in getting what you want from a person when there's a conflict involved? Because if he HAD at least told me his name, I would feel much less compelled to say mean things about the tub o' lard on my blog. :)

For the record, I generally pride myself in being a good neighbor. I try to be quiet, don't leave my trash on the balcony or outside the door, just general things. And I would have gladly been very apologetic and offered him some of my fresh baked cookies if he would have just told me his name and asked in a nice voice. But when you come at me with your guns cocked, it's a different story.


ET said...

Maybe you should TAKE him some cookies...he might stop being a prick and you could eventually get married or something. Oh, and throwing trash off the balcony violates the Landlord-Tenant Act re santitary conditions. We had a neighbor who threw her leftover food and garbage (of an edible -- and I use the term loosely -- variety) off her balcony into the courtyard daily. Have I mentioned the joys of home ownership?

BKDotCom said...

yup, squabbles between home neighbors always end with cookies.

Christopher A said...

This is your upstairs neighbor! That is what I would like to be called too. Nothing else, unless you want thr throw the word god in there somewhere.

Bring me cookies tomorrow night. Wear somthing cute and maybe just maybe ill let you have a bite of my mac and cheese!