Friday, April 15, 2005

On Giving Birth

Calm down, I'm not pregnant or anything!

On March 24 a co-worker that I see like 5 times/year because she's in another office but talk to quite often had her first baby. It was a scary time. She got married last year and was expecting a few months later. Then her husband got shipped off to Iraq. We were worried! He made it back to Oklahoma the day after the baby was born. Such a relief!

Much more scary to me, though, if the fact that she couldn't have an epidural because she has a tatoo on the part of the back they like to put them in. They tried to do it in another part of her back with no success. I have no idea why having a tat means you can't get a needle poke there, but whatever. Now, I have no body art nor do I have any intentions of ever getting any, but let's look at the bigger issue here.

When it comes to pain in general, I put a LOT of faith in the medical community. I don't want any situation like hers to happen to me-ever. Yes, I am woman hear me roar blah blah blah, but I really have no intentions to want to experience natural anything. But let's dig even deeper for a moment. You see, I have very mixed feelings on wanting to give birth. I mean, I want kids (at some point) and I want to be experience pregnancy (like...when I'm much older), but the actual birth part. Not so much.

Cindy, another co-worker said, "You know that's a little bit of a problem, right?"

No kidding.

And it's not the pain issue. It really isn't. There are a lot of things I've read/seen/heard that suggest that there are a lot of things that happen post-birth that are just never discussed. And that nearly every woman has some kind of unresolved physical issue resulting from the actual birth process, usually in the form of bladder control issues. And there's only so much Mr. Kegel can do for you. And that's just the beginning.

Now, I know I'm going to get a lot of email about "but I've have 20 children and everything is just fine and dandy" but lemme tell ya, because my luck isn't high, I will be one of the ones with long-term unresolved issues.

My friend A. said, "But you don't want to have a C-section. It leaves a scar below your hairline and it just looks really weird. My sister showed it to me. And it takes a lot longer to recover." Yeah, because I'm totally concerned about a scar that only my [non-existent] husband and maybe a few doctors will ever see. And, it might take longer to recover but I won't ever have the other issues.

Maybe I should just take it all out now so me and Mr. Right have to adopt and then I'll never be faced with this issue. That seems reasonable, right?


ET said...

Quite reasonable...I am all for taking it out! However, given that you probably will NOT take anything out, I have to recommend that you NOT get a C-section unless absolutely necessary. Aside from the scarring and taking quite a long time to heal (vs. a few hours of pain), they have to hack through layer upon layer of "stuff" and often there is residual pain from the cutting and scarring, and the fact that you would be somewhat debilitated from the surgery and unable to do some "mommy" things. Being a person who is anti-pain (LT, please put that whip BACK where you found it...), I can tell you that breaking my ankle and the resulting surgery was significantly more painful than giving birth. AND, by the time you've had nine months with an interior alien, you don't CARE how fucking much it hurts as long as you can get it the hell out of there! Besides, it's really just like cramping. Not that that's fun (and they kept putting off my epidural and it takes 30 minutes to become effective so -- thanks a LOT -- it kicked in shortly AFTER G was born. But in time for the episiotomy). I do have one residual after-effect: the child. LOL.

ClaraBarton said...

You're joking, right?
Actually, I don't blame you, I blame the media and BS shows like ER that make the medical procedures seem risk-free. You don't want to experience pain? Just imagine how you will feel after someone has cut through your body, layer by layer. At least the pain of childbirth is over after the kid pops out!

BTW, the bladder control issues tend to even themselves out in the long run. But don't take my word for it!

Chelsea Leis said...

The pain and complications often drive women away from the idea of giving birth. Actually, the pain will only be there for awhile, and it's bearable. A lot have made it through, why can't you? You can do it, Rachel! =)