Thursday, April 21, 2005

What's in Rachel's underwear?

I've never heard anyone else talk about this, but it has to happen to other people, too.

You ever found anything in your underwear? Stop being perverted; I'm being serious here. I mean stuff that really shouldn't be there. I guess such occurrences only happen to me about once every 9 months or so, but when they do occur, it really weirds me out. Take yesterday for instance. I'm at work and I take a potty break. While doing my business, I look down and notice a sliver of clipped fingernail. WHA? How did THAT get there? I could begin to understand if I had been clipping my nails at my desk right before, but the last time I clipped my nails, finger or toe, was Saturday. I could also begin to understand how this happened if I was wearing a skirt and my undies touched the chair I was sitting in...not a common happening, but it could happen like that. I was wearing pants yesterday, though. I can't really see how residual fingernail could be left after going through the washer and dryer. Or if it did, why wouldn't it fall out when I was putting them on? I'm completely baffled at how something so bizarre like this can happened. Then there's always the disgusting possibility that it wasn't even MY fingernail clippings. Ick!

Other things Rachel has found in her undies while doing her business:

1. When I was teaching in Houston, I found a sticker from my classroom
2. A staple...scary!
3. Floss

I'm wearing the shoes today for the first time. Did I mention I've never had shoes with pointy heels before? We'll see how many times I fall. If I make it through the day, I think it'll open up more options for me in shoe world.


Chris A said...

At first reading the title "What's in Rachel's underwear?" I was reluctant to read. Then ofcorse my curiosity got to me.

Although, curiosity did kill the cat. BUT? If curiosity did kill the cat was the cat curious nine times? I dont know.

What I do know is I only have one life. Letting my curiosity get the best of me, I read the post.

Oh boy, I dont know what to say. I mean... yeah I dont know what to say to that. Questions, yeah questions I can come up with. Like how in world are you going to get floss "down under" or a staple. Really, I could understand the staple. Maybe it came from the package that the undies came in (assuming you buy in bulk or those three in one packages that you see at walmart. you know what im talking about! the ones with cartoon characters. Yeah you got the snow white huh HAHAHA!) What about the sticker?? Just one question.

Was it a scratch and sniff sticker!

You know why you have never heard anyone talk about this before? Feel special here. You are the one and only one. Congrats!

Didnt your mother tell you to make sure you had clean undies with no foreign object in them.

There are so many one liners that I could come up with here...

But, im just going to say. This is one CLASSIC post that no one will ever forget. No matter how hard they try.

bottoms up!

Rachel said...

This is my point, I have NO idea how this phenomenon occurs. I can't even begin to guess. What I DO know, though, is that I haven't bought an actual package of underwear in probably 3 years. I stick to the singles. And I'm not talking about this happening in brand new undies (I wash them first anyway).

I doubt very seriously that it was a scratch & sniff sticker given the fact that those are more expensive and I would have been buying them with my own money.

I was banking on the idea that I've never heard anyone talk about it because if it DID happen (and I've had two emails thus far from those it has happened to), they don't talk about it. Because I'm the only one that will publish bizarro things like this and not be embarrased about them.

BKDotCom said...

Sorry, but the cotton fuzzy balls that accumulate in the tighty whitey pouch of men's undies do not remotely fall under the same "foreign object" in the unmentionables category. These are native to mens undies.

Lemme check... Yup, I've got a few fuzzies right now. I've never found any staples, stickers, floss, cheetos, etc..

Rachel said...

BK, stop checking on your undies at work. That's just gross, and probably indecent exposure! And you were not one of the two emailers I was mentioning.