Saturday, May 17, 2008

Dead Bodies & Dirrty Rooms, or The Anniversary Weekend

The Hottie and the Nottie (2008) = 0.5/10. Just don't. I'm sorry I did, but honestly knew it was going to be that bad.

27 Dresses (2008) = 7/10. See, this is just the type of romantic comedy that appeals to me. Good girl fun. I have never been a bridesmaid.

The O.C.: Season 3: Disc 4 (2005).

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) = 8/10. A classic that I had never seen before. I laughed a lot.

The O.C.: Season 3: Disc 3 (2005).

Juno (2007) = 7.5/10. Yes it was really funny, but I think everyone talked this up to me so much that I was a little letdown.

This past weekend Doug surprised me by taking me to the Arcadian Inn Bed & Breakfast in Edmond. And by surprised, I mean I told him "plan SOMETHING" and he did. I like planning things, but Doug doesn't like surprises.

While relaxing at the B&B, we went to the Omniplex where we saw many dead bodies at Our Body: The Universe Within. It was THE coolest thing ever! When I told a friend what we were going to see for our anniversary, she gave me a blank stare and said, "Dead bodies- completely creepy and totally NOT a romantic anniversary." But we had fun and really enjoyed it. That's all that matters.

This was our first technical stay at a Bed & Breakfast. And let me just say, IF you ever stay at a B&B, AVOID reading any portion of the guest book left in your room. When we arrived, I nearly immediately cooped myself in the closet, er, bathroom...hmm...water closet and began reading the guest log. I mean, what else is there to do in such close quarters? And what I read disgusted me.

Let me back up a bit.

Ok, say you're staying in an average hotel. Let's say the Marriott. Of all the guest staying at the Marriott, I would guess 40% would be business travelers, 40% vacationers, 18% miscellaneous (like in town for a quick family visit or a funeral or wedding or something), and 2% people having affairs. So, my guess is that in any given hotel room there is an average amount of sex going occurring. Probably not any more or less than, say, the apartments adjacent to me. Or maybe slightly higher than average because people are away from their homes and might pay attention to each other more. To sum that up, my belief is that there is a slightly above average amount of sex going on in the average hotel room.

But what about a B&B?

I never gave much thought to any of it until I started reading this guest book. There must have been 100 entries in this book dating back only to two years ago. Of those 100 or so entries, I read only ONE that was a mother/daughter seeing a concert or ballet or something for the weekend. The REST of the entries were either people celebrating their wedding night/honeymoon, anniversary, or couples getting away before the imminent arrival of a baby.

Some of my favorite entries said things like:

"...the whole room was just a perfect setting for romance..."

"...much needed relaxation..."

"...we were able to reconnect again for the first time in a long time..."

Translation to all of these:

"We had really good sex right here in this room. Thanks!"

But the absolute creepiest TWO:

"...we hope to return and show you the child we hopefully created during this weekend..."


"...third visit...our first child was made here..."

I finished up in the bathroom and emerged from the closet with a disgusted look on my face. When Doug asked me what was wrong, I told him not to read the guest book and that I would avoid sitting on the couch or touching the walls.

We slept quite soundly both nights, but I wouldn't dare want to shine a black light in there.

I think I might want to stick to average sex rooms from now on. They're cheaper anyway.

1 comment:

Maggie said...

Ha ha ha! That room does look "conducive to romance." All that red! It could be "conducive to prostitution" too! But actually hookers are one group that isn't likely to stay at a B&B. I hope you guys had a good anniversary. I thought about you on Cinco de Mayo! Congrats on your first year.