Sunday, May 22, 2005

The highly inappropriate cookout bottle

The Notebook was good, but the ending was so unbelievable to me that it really ruined the whole thing for me. Tacos San Pedro reminded me of any number of taquerias in Houston. It was cheap food, though. And good. But BLAZIN' HOT inside. It seems all authentic Mexican restaurants keep their thermostat at 85°. What is up with that? I don't think I'll be the restaurant chooser next time.

I got this phone call yesterday. The guy on the other end (who I really thought was my good buddy Jason in Arkansas) said, "What's up?" It was said in the same tone and pitch Jason would say it. My reply, "Oh, I'm just making out with my boyfriend, but you totally ruined THAT moment, Jason." (pause) "This isn't Jason, it's Mike." oooooooohhhh. I would not have said that to Mike, but would have to Jason. New rule: Make sure you know who you're talking to before you say anything. Mike goes on to tell me that he got engaged. Alright. I'm going to try really hard to be happy for him here. Am I honestly supposed to think that this is a completely good idea when you called me sober from some Kansas City football game in March and said, "I was just wondering...if I broke up with Jill, what would be the odds we could get back together?" Zero, dear! That's why I broke up with you 2 ½ years ago!

I went to a cookout today for my mentor program. My mentee wasn't at home. So I drove all the way to North Tulsa for nothing. I'm not really a big fan of cookouts. I like my A/C. There was a woman there that had some kind of developmental disability and she would only talk to me at the table and would repeat her sentences three times. I felt really awful about myself because I was annoyed at it. Why can't I just be more patient? Kids are different. I can deal with their stuff. Then again, none of the other people at the table would even look at her, so I guess maybe I was a bigger person. There was another mentor there that had one of the top 20 ugliest babies I've ever seen. She "asked" me to watch her baby while she ate and tinkled. It was "Rachel, hold him while I go eat." mmmkay. So me and ugly baby are sitting there bonding, smiling, etc. Woman tells me that if he gets fussy to give him his bottle. Gotcha! That I can do! Mommy leaves and of course ugly baby gets fussy. But the bottle doesn't have formula, milk, etc in it. What's in it? Soda. I refused to give this child a soda bottle, so I just sat there rocking him while he wailed and everyone else looked at me probably thinking, "Just give the baby the damn bottle." Well, forgive me for wanting to help produce a healthy child!


ET said...

How bonding with "ugly baby." Aren't most babies technically ugly? Just really short little old men? Okay, major comments to your blog:

1. Let's hope Jill (assuming Jill is the person to whom this Mike guy is now engaged) does not read your blog or it may all be over!

2. Assuming Mike is local or reasonably local, my services as a diamond consultant (I say "consultant" because I am not a seller, I am a reasonable authority on everything to do with diamonds, and Bruce Weber himself showed me how to color grade, etc.) are always available. Sure, I stopped working my "wedding business," but diamonds are so much fun (and so important, expensive, etc.) that I am always willing to answer questions (or even go along) in an unbiased (i.e., "not trying to sell you something") manner so that people make an educated purchase at a fair price. That being said, let's hope he doesn't buy anything from a MALL jeweler...I recently had a woman in the mall (at a big name jeweler) try to convince me that their "SI2" diamond was a GREAT find at $25K...WRONG! Sorry lady, but thanks for the laugh. Clearly Israel Diamond is the ONLY decent place to buy a stone in the state of Oklahoma (unless you have BIG bucks, then you can go shell out $60K for a designer ring at Bruce Weber, but for that kind of cash I would head to Tiffany & Co. myself. Oh, sorry...I seem to be going on a bit here...

Then again, if Jill DOES read this blog, Mike might want to make sure he buys from someplace that has a guaranteed "yes" return policy. And make sure his medical insurance is up to date. LOL.

Rachel said...

Jill is indeed the betrothed to Mike. Mike is a local. Mike & Jill met on the net. Given these three facts, it is POSSIBLE for her to read this, but I seriously doubt it. I doubt it so much that I was willing to blog it. I've never met Jill, but a double date was suggested at some point during the 2 1/2 years post breakup. I assume he'll offer that again at some point. Mike does not have health insurance as he's too old to be on his mommy's and is appaerntly on the 10 year college plan. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Unless you NEED health insurance after being beat.

ET said...

Well, I am all for the going back to college (or grad school) to get health insurance (or, in my case, free treatment from the campus clinic) since I cannot seem to find a job that will actually OFFER health insurance and I can't seem to spring for the $800/mo. out of my own pocket.

And you should NEVER, EVER go out on a double date with an ex. Trust me on this one.