Sunday, May 29, 2005

I'm here for the cake

Since Oliver Stone was arrested for drug charges, does that mean I can call him Oliver Stoned?

Wow! That's about all I can say about the wedding in Miami yesterday. It would be unrefined of me to ridicule the bride & groom, ceremony, or reception. Especially since I know nothing about these people. I will, however, make fun of some of the people that were there. Let's start off with some of the horrific things guests were wearing: a do-rag, jeans (multiple people!), cargo pants, and one chick was wearing one of those undershirt lycra spaghetti strap thingies (loosely similar to this). 'Twas quite tacky.

Moving on to the reception and skipping over all of the things during the ceremony that I turned to BK and said "Not at my wedding" (ok, there were a lot of things at the reception I would have said that at, too):

Being the non-social introvert, BK wanted to sit in the corner. Fine. There was a man two chairs over from me that kept giving me this eerie stare. And I don't mean the "horny man stare." It was more of an "I'm-a-pedofile-and-I'm-trying-to-size-up-how-old-you-are-to-see-if-I-want-you-or-not" stare. Those looks make my skin crawl, especially when you've been given that look as a child and find out later that the person giving you the look really was a pedofile. But that's for another time when I get bored, perhaps. When BK went to get more cake for the both of us, "eerie" kept staring. So, I turned and stared right back at him. And then I did my raise-the-eyebrows-and-somewhat-smile, indicating "either talk to me and tell me what you want to say or QUIT staring!!!" He said nothing. I finally said, "Ummm...what?" And he said, "Nothing." Then he turned away. BK said he kept staring at me when I was turned away eating my cake. Then as we were leaving, BK stopped to say bye to the bride. As we were standing there, a man that was about 70 or so, maybe even older, walked around us. He grabbed my ass!!! It was not an accidental brush, either. There was definite cuppage going on. I didn't move because I didn't want to cause a scene at a wedding, but eww!

Then we drove the 10 miles to Picher, home of the biggest Super Fund site (at least I think the biggest), icky chat piles, leaded water (click on bottom to see lots of scary pictures), and apparently a lot of retarded children and infertile adults. It was just a sad site and a very crappy looking town. What I don't understand is how anyone at any time could have been through Pitcher and said, "Yes, wifey, THIS is where we will plant our roots."


ET said...

Is it ironic that a town with the name "Pitcher" would have bad water?

Only in Oklahoma can they come up with these FABULOUS town names. I SO need to get out of this state!

And I can't believe that BK did not kick the old man's ass (or at least make some semblance of having a pair) when he grabbed yours! How horrifying!

Rachel said...

That's BK for ya.

BKDotCom said...

I saw neither the ass-grab, nor the old geezer that performed the grab. I just got the report.

technicality: It's "Picher" (no t)

ET said...

That's a travesty...BK takes a girl to a wedding and doesn't even NOTICE when some old perv grabs a handful? Way to win points with the ladies, BK.