Friday, May 13, 2005

Medical billing error?

It's a scary Friday the 13th. But I'm going out tonight so all should be well with me on scary day.
Naive/self-destructive (for lack of better words here) quote/conversation of the week:

"Rachel, what should I do about Bob? I love him so much, but he just won't quit drinking and smoking pot. And he yells at me. How can I change that?"

Oy! How about finding another Bob? Only better than Bob! She's not having any of that. Although I've not really had to learn the lesson the hard way, I'm fully aware that the only things that you might be able to change in a man are clothing style & grooming issues. (Grooming issues here is more like waxing unibrows and sucn) And that's IT! Why can't she just realize on her own that she's worth way more than him?
Guess what? I don't like being talked to in the bathroom. So stop asking me if your makeup looks fine and how to get rid of zits. I just wanna pee!
So, I check my home phone number messages when I'm at work. I called yesterday and this woman was like "Rachel, this is Kelly White. I need you to call this number TODAY before 5:00." It was a real voice. I called and the person answered NBC. NBC??? Did I win a random trip to Paris or something? Yeah, like I could be that lucky. Pretty much all I've ever won was a $1000 survey check in the mail and a blow up dinosaur when I was 8 at the Tulsa Zoo when Dinosaurs Alive! came to town. And the dinosaur was only useful for scaring me when I slept as a kiddo. "What is NBC?" "We're in Midwest City; Northwest Bureau of Collections." (or something like that) Just marvelous. So this person Kelly answers and says I need to verify my birthdate with her. Who are YOU? "I have three possibilities for Rachels and I need you to verify your birthdate to make sure this isn't you."! TELL ME WHY. Collection services for medical bills. Yeah, aside from the fact that I managed to rack up $19 in late fees at the Harris County Public Library last year that I didn't pay, I do pay all my bills. Before time! She said I had to tell her my birthday to make sure it wasn't me. FIIIINE. It wasn't. But it freaked me out a little bit because for all I know with my recent credit card fraud thing, I only have to assume there's someone out there getting nose and boob jobs and using my name. I could see it now:

Collection person: Ma'am, we don't believe it isn't you that got the boob job.
Me: Oh yeah? Check this out (shirt rips off)
Collection person: OHHHH! Obviously, well you didn't have the boob job. Nevermind. We'll continue looking.

1 comment:

Amanda Z said...

I was just reading this entry and thinking... if you WERE the Rachel she was looking for and you WERE trying to avoid collections, wouldn't you just give a fake birthdate?