Friday, May 20, 2005

Panty disposal

I have no idea why, but I really need one of these. I'm sure I'd use it about one time in my entire life.

Eulogy = 7.25/10. Pretty darn funny.

It was SOOO cute. But I guess ET and LT are the only ones that will appreciate this. After D. left last night, Shelby was at the door whining for him to come back. Pretty significant for my dog. Especially since I've only seen her do this for my brothers and Michelle. And D. doesn't like onions, either. He thinks they're slimy. So see, I'm not the only one.

This last weekend I managed to buy retail $230 of clothes, earrings, shoes, and panties for $100. Ahh, the power of buy one get one free and $75 off if you spend $150 or more! So, I was putting up my new undies and an awful thought occured: I have no idea when I'm supposed to trash underwear! My mommy never told me. So I start thinking about the possibilities here:

A) When they are out of style (I have no idea what that might mean)
B) When they have a rip, hole, or tear in them
C) When they are a given number of days/weeks/months/years old. And if this is the case, how long?
D) When they have a stain of any kind on them (I once spilled bleach on black ones; it qualified for me)
E) If you find a bug in them (I'm thinking moth balls here)
F) If you find out that your friend/husband/boyfriend/brother/mother/etc "borrowed" a pair
G) If you see your dog/cat/anything living licking them (I'm not even going to go there)
H) When they have been worn X number of times

I have no idea which one of these is the correct method, though! Does this mean my mommy wasn't as good as I thought she was?

4 comments:

BKDotCom said...

This is one odd post on many levels.

An allegory if I may:
Say I have a pet goldfish. How much weight should goldfish/female interaction be given in my overall relationship metrics? What if the goldfish starts getting/giving more attention than I feel comfortable with? Do I get jealous? Of if irreconcilable differences develop between the two. Do I break it off with her?

"It's not you, it's my goldfish."

Nutshell: You've got some weird Rachel/Dog/Guy thing going here.

And the underwear thing? That's just odd. How about i) when you find a staple in them.
Guys who care about this matter have one simple test: "would I want to be found dead in these."

Rachel said...

BK, you're just jealous that Shelby didn't like you. And it was a random statement. My overall point was that I think it's neat she likes him and took to him quickly. She just doesn't do that. And there's an understanding that if Shelby gets too much attention that either one of us will let the other know. As it is, about 5% of our time has been spent interacting directly with Shelby. Thus, it's not like he's at my place trying to foster a relationship with the dog. It just happened naturally.

As to your other questions: If the girl likes your goldfish more than she likes you then you seriously need to find some way to entertain her/keep her from getting bored. That's why you're can juggle. And hand fart.

Mags said...

yeah, i would say, i actually think most girls DO get a lesson about this from their mother. and i think i've even heard YOUR mother joke about the age-old sagism, "don't leave the house in underwear that, should you get into an accident, you wouldn't want a CUTE DOCTOR to see." and if you can't leave the house in them, i'd throw them out.

p.s. if a guy gets along with a skittish dog, it's like a guy that's good with babies or knows how to iron. it's a nice little perk and it does say something about him. perhaps the way you can use your dog in your relationship metrics is, at various points throughout relationships, consider the hypothetical situation, "what if boy x was allergic to shelby. do i spend enough time with him to need to choose between them? and if i did need to choose, who would i choose?" since we all know you are nuts about your dog, it will help you guage how you feel about the boy.

ET said...

Okay. 1) Don't listen to Brad. He has clearly had a negative experience with someone's goldfish and cannot be objective where animal matters are concerned. 2) When an animal likes a person right away, it says something about that person. The fact that Shelby has taken to D. indicates that D. either has a way with animals but is still a closet serial killer OR that he might be a genuinely nice guy (NOT a reason to dump him!) and your dog can tell he is a good person.

Now, moving on to underwear. Maggie is right on on this one...don't wear anything you wouldn't want the ER (or some such) to see. (Have you seen Bridget Jones' Diary???) If the elastic is messed up, it has a hole (other than the requisite three for functionality, of course), or it's just totally out of shape or what have you, then I would send them on their merry way.