Sunday, June 26, 2005

Phallic Peanut Picchu

By now, you've probably figured out that I generally have my mind in the gutter. I think this is the case because I don't generally act on my gutter mind feelings. I spent the entire Saturday with D. and there were so many instances where I didn't have to use my imagination at ALL for things to be perverted.

We started off by going to the Gilcrease Museum to see the exhibit of Machu Picchu. I give the exhibit a 3.5/10. I was just bored and it was crowded. Anyway, they showed a lot of artifacts and one of them seriously looked like a stone prototype of a dildo. I must mention that D pointed this out and not me for once! We got stuck behind these two extremely annoying old people and their granddaughter or someone who has way more patience than I have. Not only did we get stuck behind them in Machu Picchu, but also in another wing of the museum.

In one exhibit of American West crapart, D somewhat inappropriately laid down on one of the viewing benches (I have no idea what else to call them). I told him it was slightly inappropriate and then as soon as he stood up, I made sure to given him an inappropriate kiss. But I'm sure only the cameras saw us.

Gilcrease has this nifty (if you like Native American stuff and I generally don't) place downstairs that consists of many artifacts in glass-covered pullout drawers. Each item in the drawers is numbered. What makes it nifty is that you can then pull up a comptuer to find out more about each object. So, we pull out a drawer and see a child's parka. It looked like it was made out of rubber. And that wouldn't make sense since it's in an artifact area. D suggested that it was made out of intestines. I knew he was probably right, but I just didn't want to think that some poor child in the past had to choose between getting soaking wet or wearing intestines. A search on the comptuer revealed that it was made out of seal intestines. Eww!

Then we went to Old Navy, Famous Footwear (I didn't buy anything this time, ET), and Bed Bath & Beyond. Nothing too fantastical there except that we kept hitting each other with a body pillow in the store like 10 year olds.

Doug had never been to Texas Roadhouse, so I suggested we go there. It is here that he found the phallic peanut that my camera couldn't take a great picture of:

I think he only moderately liked the experience/food.

We went to Target then and, I swear to you, we saw 5000 pregnant women. Long winter nights, I guess. I'm hoping it's not a preview of coming attractions. What a miracle baby that would be! D pointed out as we were walking past the baby aisle a product similar to Desitin called Boudreaux's Butt Paste. Check out the name of the website. I guess children with diaper rash wouldn't care if the product used to relieve it was called butt paste. What a name, though! Then there was a product called "Wood for Good." It was like polish or something, but if you mind's in the gutter it's funny.


kelly said...

When you have a baby I will buy you a gallon of Butt Paste. It's wonderful!

ET said...

There's something to look forward to.

LT and I went to Texas Roadhouse once. We lasted five minutes outside on the bench, then the peanut shells (most places have banned these after being sued for slip-and-falls) and country music drove us away. We ended up at Abuelos instead. MUCH more tolerable.

Rachel said...

I'm not a big fan of Abuelos. It's just fair food for too much money. I feel much the same about Olive Garden.

ET said...

Yes, but that's only because you haven't tried their REALLY GREAT items! I love Abuelos and Olive Garden...the Olive Garden salads are divine. And they have the best fettucine alfredo anywhere.