Friday, October 14, 2005

Because Farting Means Love

Happy, Texas = 4.5/10. Another co-worker Cindy sucky recommendation. I need to quit listening to her because thus far nothing she has highly recommended has even made it to a 6 for me. Perhaps now would be the time to take Mad Hot Ballroom off the list?
Anyone out there that is making a diaper cake for a baby shower, listen up! YOU NEED MORE THAN 50 DIAPERS. Did I give in to Doug when he reached for the larger package at first? Nope. Thus, here is what I have so far:

I need like 10 more and that's it. Do they sell diapers in 10s? Of course not. That'd be too easy for me. Actually, I have no idea if they sell them in 10s. Just walking down the diaper aisle last night smashed all traces of baby fever I gained after attending the baby shower Monday. And my baby fever level was pretty much nil after the shower, too. I'll probably have to get another 50 diapers. Then after that, ribbons and other registry goodies go inside. I'll post when it's done.

**See the finished cake and story here.**
Note: if you're eating or get grossed out easily, I would just stop reading this now.

I know I tend to be eccentric at times (at least I realize it, though), but is this conversation I had with a friend today out there? Or is it just me?

Trixie*: So, are you guys [Doug and me] like over the awkward part of the relationship?

Me: Awkward? Like, the "formal" part?

Trixie: Yeah, ya know. Like, have you pooped in front of him yet?

Me: What? In FRONT OF HIM??? Yet???

Trixie: Oh yeah. That's when I knew I was in love with "Bob."

Me: I honestly can't remember the last time I did that in front of someone. Maybe when I was in diapers? Actually, I can't remember ever doing that in front of someone. Besides, it's not exactly like the bathroom in my apartment provides much privacy. Like on that episode of Seinfeld, remember?

Trixie: I don't watch that silly show. [This is how we know without a doubt she's insane, right? Who doesn't like Seinfeld?] Well, have you at least farted around him?

Me: Not audibly. Or at least, he's never noticed or called me on it.

Trixie: If you aren't rippin', it doesn't count.

Me: But Trixie, I'm just not a "ripper." Unless it's my brothers, that's different.

Trixie: Well, you're just not very mature, are you?

[mouth opened, eyed rolling] Since when has this been the main issue in relationships? Did I miss something in college?

Trixie reads my blog, y'all.

*Name changed because I think she caught on to the fact I think she's more odd than I. I've never met anyone named Trixie. Hopefully, I will never have to because I'm not sure I could contain the laughs. That's definitely on my "never name a child" list.


Anonymous said...

You may want to cover the "cake" so dust doesn't accumulate. Dust is not very healthy for a small baby.

Rachel said...

I've already thought about covering it. I just have to wait until I'm finihsed with the whole thing first.

Amanda Z said...

I think you're more prone to do that stuff in front of each other if you live together and are forced to share a bathroom.

Rachel said...

Yeah, but...while he's IN the bathroom WITH you? I lived with my family for 22 years and not once do I remember doing this.

Maybe I'm the only person who has these Freudian issues?

ET said...

Okay Rachel. Your friend is just weird. Now there are SATC episodes that discuss the whole "going" at his house (and in a NY apartment this IS an issue of closeness), but not in FRONT of him. (Well, there is that one episode where the guy does with the door open at Miranda's but she breaks up with him over it.) So, with him in the VICINITY may be what she meant. If not, well...I think you should seriously disregard any relationship advice this chick gives you. And anything concerning the meaning of maturity.

Rachel said...

I remember that episode and remember loving it (all of them, really).

You can be assured that I will not be following any relationship advice she gives me. The whole point was that the concept of equating true love with the umm..."openness" required makes no sense to me. But it was amusing.