I'm so glad I'm not the only one who says silly things.
I discovered a tiny sore red bump on my right boob while on the phone with Doug Monday evening. I freaked out momentarily, as any woman probably would who finds anything resembling a bump/lump/mass in, on, or around her boob. I decided quickly it wasn't cancer but rather a bite or ingrown hair. Or something. Definitely not dying, though.
This evening I complained about the bump again after I accidentallyscratched it. Doug said, "hey, maybe it's your 2nd nipple."
Uh huh. Or maybe my 2nd nipple is located on my left boob.
Wanna make me happy? Buy me some of my brand new addiction- Pepperidge Farm Cinnamon Swirl bread or Pepperidge Farm Brown Sugar Cinnamon Swirl bread (not shown). Just put some butter and more sugar and cinnamon on it and I'm the happiest girl in the world. Guys, don't you wish your girlfriend was as low-maintenance as me?
And, as Mitch Hedberg said, it's fancy bread.
You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast. [Source]
I wish I had bought this stuff before!