Have I not been screaming that women need 10 times more toilets then men for years??? It's ridiculous that there has to be legislation instead of the architect (that I will assume are all male, because how could a female not make tons more stalls for women?) doing it on his own. Sex equality in bathrooms = good on paper, but sucks when you add together the sum of a movie + 50 oz. of Dr. Pepper + 2 hours.
OMG! Howie Day is coming to the Cain's on July 11th! It's only $17.50. If someone doesn't volunteer to go with me, I'm going to probably just DIE of having never been to a concert. And do you really want that on your conscience? I can't bring myself to count the N.K.O.T.B. concert when I was in 3rd grade. Speaking of music...
I have a love-hate relatationship with drug companies. Yes, if it weren't for them I would have probably died two, three times. But generally they're greedy bastards. Mainly because of the advertising factor. Becasue of them, I can no longer listen to There She Goes by Sixpence None the Richer without thinking of birth control. I also can't listen to Beautiful Morning by The Rascals without thinking of this stuff. I know that this is their intended effect, but they've ear raped parts of my music experience. Here's why:
Like smells, I associate music quite heavily with certain events. Like the first time I hear a song, if something crappy was happening, or something truly wonderful was happening, I can tell you exactly either what song was playing or what song was playing in my head. Then they're forever linked. Until the Senokot commercial aired, I associated Beautiful Morning with my daddy coming in to wake me up in the mornings. This wasn't the song he usually sang to me, but still. I'd much rather associate it with those pleasant memories of childhood rather than the old people in the commercial that drive around in a drop top and look happy only because they've had their morning crap. Ewww!
And if they ever ruin Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters by Elton John for me, I'll cry. Even though the song isn't really great, I have some very nice memories with that one.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Monday, May 30, 2005
The Phone Diet (Patent Pending)
Were you aware that if your dog licks off a microportion of the shell on a whole bag of Peanut Butter M&M's that the flavor is greatly diminished? The owner, me, didn't realize that she could get to them on the bar, but the hole in the bag was too small for her to actually get any out of. Doesn't stop me from eating them, though. That's how much I love those M&M's...and my doggy, I guess.
Everyone have a sit down because I don't want any fainting going on here: Rachel went to church with D. yesterday. It is here I learned that atheism, liberalism, pluralism, materialism, and humanism are B-A-D. I think he probably meant secular humanism, but I'm also pretty sure he didn't research anything else about them. Like even the "literal meaning" of some of the words, namely liberalism. And since we're going strictly on the literal interpretation of The Good Book, something seems a little off about that. But whatever. I'm totally willing to blindly trust Mr. Brett because he is, as he says, "sound in doctrine." I also think I left out two -isms in there.
We then went to Monterey's, where I stupidly ordered my standard chimichanga. Which was good, but D.'s Classic Burger was one of the top 5 ground cow preparations to ever touch my mouth. At a Tex Mex breastaurant no less. Or maybe it was so good because I was starving. And a fair warning to those who go: there is celery in the queso. And I wish I had my camera because on the ledge of our booth was a very large tin with spanish writing on it that was being used as a fake flower planter. The tin was a used canola oil container. Maybe they need a clean sweep? Both odd.
~~~~~
I've totally got it the next million dollar idea: The phone diet!!!
That's right folks. If you spend an average of 4 hours per day on the phone (not at work) with your family, boyfriend, girlfriends, guy pals, and other random people, you forget to eat. Or in the very least, you get very thirsty and end up drinking so much water that you aren't hungry anymore. Empirical testing in a clinical setting hasn't taken place yet. In fact, I haven't even tested them out. Seems like a good idea, though. Yeah, and if someone says "Why don't you get call waiting?" one more time to me, I'm gonna scream. "Why don't YOU just call my cell phone, huh huh huh?" "Well, cause I already know you're on the phone if it's busy when I call." Well, there ya go. :)
Everyone have a sit down because I don't want any fainting going on here: Rachel went to church with D. yesterday. It is here I learned that atheism, liberalism, pluralism, materialism, and humanism are B-A-D. I think he probably meant secular humanism, but I'm also pretty sure he didn't research anything else about them. Like even the "literal meaning" of some of the words, namely liberalism. And since we're going strictly on the literal interpretation of The Good Book, something seems a little off about that. But whatever. I'm totally willing to blindly trust Mr. Brett because he is, as he says, "sound in doctrine." I also think I left out two -isms in there.
We then went to Monterey's, where I stupidly ordered my standard chimichanga. Which was good, but D.'s Classic Burger was one of the top 5 ground cow preparations to ever touch my mouth. At a Tex Mex breastaurant no less. Or maybe it was so good because I was starving. And a fair warning to those who go: there is celery in the queso. And I wish I had my camera because on the ledge of our booth was a very large tin with spanish writing on it that was being used as a fake flower planter. The tin was a used canola oil container. Maybe they need a clean sweep? Both odd.
~~~~~
I've totally got it the next million dollar idea: The phone diet!!!
That's right folks. If you spend an average of 4 hours per day on the phone (not at work) with your family, boyfriend, girlfriends, guy pals, and other random people, you forget to eat. Or in the very least, you get very thirsty and end up drinking so much water that you aren't hungry anymore. Empirical testing in a clinical setting hasn't taken place yet. In fact, I haven't even tested them out. Seems like a good idea, though. Yeah, and if someone says "Why don't you get call waiting?" one more time to me, I'm gonna scream. "Why don't YOU just call my cell phone, huh huh huh?" "Well, cause I already know you're on the phone if it's busy when I call." Well, there ya go. :)
Sunday, May 29, 2005
I'm here for the cake
Since Oliver Stone was arrested for drug charges, does that mean I can call him Oliver Stoned?
Wow! That's about all I can say about the wedding in Miami yesterday. It would be unrefined of me to ridicule the bride & groom, ceremony, or reception. Especially since I know nothing about these people. I will, however, make fun of some of the people that were there. Let's start off with some of the horrific things guests were wearing: a do-rag, jeans (multiple people!), cargo pants, and one chick was wearing one of those undershirt lycra spaghetti strap thingies (loosely similar to this). 'Twas quite tacky.
Moving on to the reception and skipping over all of the things during the ceremony that I turned to BK and said "Not at my wedding" (ok, there were a lot of things at the reception I would have said that at, too):
Being the non-social introvert, BK wanted to sit in the corner. Fine. There was a man two chairs over from me that kept giving me this eerie stare. And I don't mean the "horny man stare." It was more of an "I'm-a-pedofile-and-I'm-trying-to-size-up-how-old-you-are-to-see-if-I-want-you-or-not" stare. Those looks make my skin crawl, especially when you've been given that look as a child and find out later that the person giving you the look really was a pedofile. But that's for another time when I get bored, perhaps. When BK went to get more cake for the both of us, "eerie" kept staring. So, I turned and stared right back at him. And then I did my raise-the-eyebrows-and-somewhat-smile, indicating "either talk to me and tell me what you want to say or QUIT staring!!!" He said nothing. I finally said, "Ummm...what?" And he said, "Nothing." Then he turned away. BK said he kept staring at me when I was turned away eating my cake. Then as we were leaving, BK stopped to say bye to the bride. As we were standing there, a man that was about 70 or so, maybe even older, walked around us. He grabbed my ass!!! It was not an accidental brush, either. There was definite cuppage going on. I didn't move because I didn't want to cause a scene at a wedding, but eww!
Then we drove the 10 miles to Picher, home of the biggest Super Fund site (at least I think the biggest), icky chat piles, leaded water (click on bottom to see lots of scary pictures), and apparently a lot of retarded children and infertile adults. It was just a sad site and a very crappy looking town. What I don't understand is how anyone at any time could have been through Pitcher and said, "Yes, wifey, THIS is where we will plant our roots."
Wow! That's about all I can say about the wedding in Miami yesterday. It would be unrefined of me to ridicule the bride & groom, ceremony, or reception. Especially since I know nothing about these people. I will, however, make fun of some of the people that were there. Let's start off with some of the horrific things guests were wearing: a do-rag, jeans (multiple people!), cargo pants, and one chick was wearing one of those undershirt lycra spaghetti strap thingies (loosely similar to this). 'Twas quite tacky.
Moving on to the reception and skipping over all of the things during the ceremony that I turned to BK and said "Not at my wedding" (ok, there were a lot of things at the reception I would have said that at, too):
Being the non-social introvert, BK wanted to sit in the corner. Fine. There was a man two chairs over from me that kept giving me this eerie stare. And I don't mean the "horny man stare." It was more of an "I'm-a-pedofile-and-I'm-trying-to-size-up-how-old-you-are-to-see-if-I-want-you-or-not" stare. Those looks make my skin crawl, especially when you've been given that look as a child and find out later that the person giving you the look really was a pedofile. But that's for another time when I get bored, perhaps. When BK went to get more cake for the both of us, "eerie" kept staring. So, I turned and stared right back at him. And then I did my raise-the-eyebrows-and-somewhat-smile, indicating "either talk to me and tell me what you want to say or QUIT staring!!!" He said nothing. I finally said, "Ummm...what?" And he said, "Nothing." Then he turned away. BK said he kept staring at me when I was turned away eating my cake. Then as we were leaving, BK stopped to say bye to the bride. As we were standing there, a man that was about 70 or so, maybe even older, walked around us. He grabbed my ass!!! It was not an accidental brush, either. There was definite cuppage going on. I didn't move because I didn't want to cause a scene at a wedding, but eww!
Then we drove the 10 miles to Picher, home of the biggest Super Fund site (at least I think the biggest), icky chat piles, leaded water (click on bottom to see lots of scary pictures), and apparently a lot of retarded children and infertile adults. It was just a sad site and a very crappy looking town. What I don't understand is how anyone at any time could have been through Pitcher and said, "Yes, wifey, THIS is where we will plant our roots."
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Toilet food/SOAD
Amusing world news:
Why didn't I think of this?
Proof that jerking off really does cause blindness.
Is it just me or does SOAD's lead singer look like he wasn't hugged enough as a child? He's 38, people!
For the first time in I guess 2 weeks, I finally got a full 8 hours of sleep last night. I feel so refreshed. And ready to take a nap.
ET/LT, D. and I watched Meet the Fockers and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I give it a 6.5/10.
I'm going to a wedding today in Miami, OK. Mainly for the cake. Mmmm...wedding cake. Yum! I'm going to wear the same thing I wore to ET & LT's wedding, too. Yes, nearly 3 years ago. I expect that an "acquard" conversation will take place at some point that goes something along the lines of a random person asking if I am the girlfriend. Nope. But the thought of him going to a wedding all by himself is a really disturbing thought to me. I'll gladly fulfill the "moderately pretty girl that came with the nerd" role. As always, I do mean that in the nicest way possible.
Next up: The church chronicles
Why didn't I think of this?
Proof that jerking off really does cause blindness.
Is it just me or does SOAD's lead singer look like he wasn't hugged enough as a child? He's 38, people!
For the first time in I guess 2 weeks, I finally got a full 8 hours of sleep last night. I feel so refreshed. And ready to take a nap.
ET/LT, D. and I watched Meet the Fockers and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I give it a 6.5/10.
I'm going to a wedding today in Miami, OK. Mainly for the cake. Mmmm...wedding cake. Yum! I'm going to wear the same thing I wore to ET & LT's wedding, too. Yes, nearly 3 years ago. I expect that an "acquard" conversation will take place at some point that goes something along the lines of a random person asking if I am the girlfriend. Nope. But the thought of him going to a wedding all by himself is a really disturbing thought to me. I'll gladly fulfill the "moderately pretty girl that came with the nerd" role. As always, I do mean that in the nicest way possible.
Next up: The church chronicles
Friday, May 27, 2005
Slim through the leg
Happy 50th to my mommy! Who had to go to a funeral today in Arkansas. What a crappy way to spend a birthday, especially an important one.
I woke up this morning not tired, but with that sense of impending illness. And very very chillish. Bleh.
So, I'm a mentor and our next activity is going to be going to the zoo. The girl chose that by herself. Since it's open 9-5 and I have an 8:30-5 :00 job, that means we have to go on either Saturday or Sunday. I'm supposed to see her once a week. We pretty much have to go next weekend. We're going on the 4th. I didn't quite finish the new Urban Tulsa yesterday. So, I'm reading along and I see this ad for Tulsa's Diversity Celebration-read Gay Pride Parade. June 4th is totally "Gay Day at the Zoo" and "Fashionably Gay Bingo." This will be a problem as I'm not even fashionably straight! It will be a learning experience. Now, if I could just find someone to go to the actual Parade with me. Just to see what it's all about. Someone-someone-anyone???
On to my rant: The Gap sucks. I didn't really put much thought into what I saw there at the time because my thoughts in the dressing room last weekend were more along the lines of, "Try on stuff quickly, D. doesn't want to be here." Then again, I have the same thoughts when I'm in the dressing room, too. "I don't really want to be here." In the stalls they have a nice little poster explaining all of the differences between jean styles. There are two choices for women's jeans as far as hip/thigh is concerned--loose through the leg or slim through the leg. What I want to know is who actually gets slim through the leg? All the women I know have the exact opposite problem with this area. Even my tiny friend Michelle who's like 4' 11" and 95 pounds and a size 4 has an issue with the legs not being big enough in the thigh area. (Speaking of which, if she's 95 pounds and 4" 11", WHO is wearing size 0???) Seriously, can you imagine a woman coming out of the dressing room and saying, "I love these jeans but they are just SOOO huge through my hip and thigh area!" No? Well, that's because she wouldn't be trying on clothes with anyone she knows near her because average women don't LIKE her.
I woke up this morning not tired, but with that sense of impending illness. And very very chillish. Bleh.
So, I'm a mentor and our next activity is going to be going to the zoo. The girl chose that by herself. Since it's open 9-5 and I have an 8:30-5 :00 job, that means we have to go on either Saturday or Sunday. I'm supposed to see her once a week. We pretty much have to go next weekend. We're going on the 4th. I didn't quite finish the new Urban Tulsa yesterday. So, I'm reading along and I see this ad for Tulsa's Diversity Celebration-read Gay Pride Parade. June 4th is totally "Gay Day at the Zoo" and "Fashionably Gay Bingo." This will be a problem as I'm not even fashionably straight! It will be a learning experience. Now, if I could just find someone to go to the actual Parade with me. Just to see what it's all about. Someone-someone-anyone???
On to my rant: The Gap sucks. I didn't really put much thought into what I saw there at the time because my thoughts in the dressing room last weekend were more along the lines of, "Try on stuff quickly, D. doesn't want to be here." Then again, I have the same thoughts when I'm in the dressing room, too. "I don't really want to be here." In the stalls they have a nice little poster explaining all of the differences between jean styles. There are two choices for women's jeans as far as hip/thigh is concerned--loose through the leg or slim through the leg. What I want to know is who actually gets slim through the leg? All the women I know have the exact opposite problem with this area. Even my tiny friend Michelle who's like 4' 11" and 95 pounds and a size 4 has an issue with the legs not being big enough in the thigh area. (Speaking of which, if she's 95 pounds and 4" 11", WHO is wearing size 0???) Seriously, can you imagine a woman coming out of the dressing room and saying, "I love these jeans but they are just SOOO huge through my hip and thigh area!" No? Well, that's because she wouldn't be trying on clothes with anyone she knows near her because average women don't LIKE her.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Breastaurant
I made a Freudian slip at work this morning. I asked my co-worker Cindy if a place where she will be singing is a bar or a restaurant and she said it was both. And I said, "Oh, so it's like...a breastaurant?" Not really thinking, just combining words together. I do like my new word a little, though.
Last evening when I was walking Shelby on the trail I saw an owl like 7 feet away from me on a tree. There's supposed to be some Native American legend about if you see an owl, then someone you know will die. My grandma's sister died last week, does that count? I also saw a hummingbird that got really close to my face. I don't know of any legends surrounding them, but since they're so cute that makes up for seeing the owl, right?
I forgot to bring my lunch yesterday so I ended up at Sonic. As I sat there eating my shit burger, I noticed a guy in his 30s sitting on the patio with two other guys (looked like co-workers) sort of staring a little at me. Didn't think anything of it. A minute later, he was standing in front of my car with his cell phone pointing at me. I had no idea what he was doing. Then it occured to me that he was probably taking pictures of me eating my burger with my sunglasses on. That weirds me out a little because I can't think of any good clean reason why a person would want to do this. So, what's a girl to do? Dip the straw wrapper in a little water and dangle them from the nose, of course! He rolled his eyes and stopped taking pictures, though.
Last evening when I was walking Shelby on the trail I saw an owl like 7 feet away from me on a tree. There's supposed to be some Native American legend about if you see an owl, then someone you know will die. My grandma's sister died last week, does that count? I also saw a hummingbird that got really close to my face. I don't know of any legends surrounding them, but since they're so cute that makes up for seeing the owl, right?
I forgot to bring my lunch yesterday so I ended up at Sonic. As I sat there eating my shit burger, I noticed a guy in his 30s sitting on the patio with two other guys (looked like co-workers) sort of staring a little at me. Didn't think anything of it. A minute later, he was standing in front of my car with his cell phone pointing at me. I had no idea what he was doing. Then it occured to me that he was probably taking pictures of me eating my burger with my sunglasses on. That weirds me out a little because I can't think of any good clean reason why a person would want to do this. So, what's a girl to do? Dip the straw wrapper in a little water and dangle them from the nose, of course! He rolled his eyes and stopped taking pictures, though.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Teenage boys
Happy 3rd anniversary (I think 3rd) to my friend Cheyenne. I doubt she even knows my blog exists, though.
OK, if none of you will buy me the Sandcastle Bundt Pan, will you at least get me the Monogrammed Steak Brand so I can go around poking people in the butt with my initials?
I'm not saying that I'm the best speller in the world, but I've never seen this interpretation: "It felt a little acquard for me sorry."
My brothers are 13 and 14. My dad just gave them the birds & the bees spiel about 6 months ago...like they didn't know already, right? Or was I the only one that knew everything at 8? Anyway, I have a fantastic relationship with them and so they feel comfortable enough to ask me, ya know, the finer details about sexual things, bodies, all things they won't consider asking the parents, etc. These are the questions I was asked one Friday night. I know they wait all week to ask me these things because the moment I'm alone with either one of them, they ask a sexual/personal related question within 3 minutes. What makes this an oddity to me is how vague/short of an answer I can give. I guess they want any answer. When I was their age if someone answered my question with a "maybe," that wasn't good enough for me. I'd keep prying. OK, so I still do that. On to the Q&A session (G=Geoffrey, 14; J=Joshua, 13):
J: Sissy, what's a prick?
R: I don't actually know the "real" meaning of the word, but it's generally used in reference to a guy that's not very nice.
J: Do dogs have periods?
G: Yeah, do they?
R: Sort of. (They were fine with this answer!?)
J: Do YOU have periods?
R: Yup.
J: Do you feel it?
R: 95% of the time, no
J:Eww, but wow
R: Anything else you want to know or should I start volunteering information here?
G: o....K? (obviously grossed out by all of this and the less inquisitive of the two)
Being big sister is wonderful. I'm just waiting for one of them to ask me who Nina Hartley is. (I'm sure Elon knows, Becky. Gotcha!). Or how I will respond when they ask me about my experiences (or lack thereof). I already really love being around them because they're cool kiddos, we laugh a LOT, and we really don't fight when it's the three of us, but I'm really going enjoy them once they're adults. Ahh...one big happy family.
OK, if none of you will buy me the Sandcastle Bundt Pan, will you at least get me the Monogrammed Steak Brand so I can go around poking people in the butt with my initials?
I'm not saying that I'm the best speller in the world, but I've never seen this interpretation: "It felt a little acquard for me sorry."
My brothers are 13 and 14. My dad just gave them the birds & the bees spiel about 6 months ago...like they didn't know already, right? Or was I the only one that knew everything at 8? Anyway, I have a fantastic relationship with them and so they feel comfortable enough to ask me, ya know, the finer details about sexual things, bodies, all things they won't consider asking the parents, etc. These are the questions I was asked one Friday night. I know they wait all week to ask me these things because the moment I'm alone with either one of them, they ask a sexual/personal related question within 3 minutes. What makes this an oddity to me is how vague/short of an answer I can give. I guess they want any answer. When I was their age if someone answered my question with a "maybe," that wasn't good enough for me. I'd keep prying. OK, so I still do that. On to the Q&A session (G=Geoffrey, 14; J=Joshua, 13):
J: Sissy, what's a prick?
R: I don't actually know the "real" meaning of the word, but it's generally used in reference to a guy that's not very nice.
J: Do dogs have periods?
G: Yeah, do they?
R: Sort of. (They were fine with this answer!?)
J: Do YOU have periods?
R: Yup.
J: Do you feel it?
R: 95% of the time, no
J:Eww, but wow
R: Anything else you want to know or should I start volunteering information here?
G: o....K? (obviously grossed out by all of this and the less inquisitive of the two)
Being big sister is wonderful. I'm just waiting for one of them to ask me who Nina Hartley is. (I'm sure Elon knows, Becky. Gotcha!). Or how I will respond when they ask me about my experiences (or lack thereof). I already really love being around them because they're cool kiddos, we laugh a LOT, and we really don't fight when it's the three of us, but I'm really going enjoy them once they're adults. Ahh...one big happy family.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Umm, thanks? (2)
I was just on hold for our other office and the hold message sounds like some wannabe Barry White with cheesy sax music in the background. It sounds like corny porn music. I'm going to have to talk to someone about that since I've been known to choose the background music from time to time. I do NOT want my name on that one!
There are just certain things I take for granted sometimes. For instance, if you live in Buffalo, NY, I would take for granted that you've seen Niagra Falls at least once. If you have lived in Tulsa for 10 years and your parents aren't dirt poor (and even if they were), I take for granted that you've been to Zio's at least once. I guess I'll stop assuming from now on, but come on! Zio's? After 10 years?
I hate it when someone gives me a compliment and then covers it up with something that's not quite as nice as the compliment. I call these "umm, thanks" moments. I wore these yesterday:
Except the shirt is in blue and not the wine color. Someone made this comment to me, "Rachel you look really summery and cute today. I love it! What? Did you have your personal shopper with you this time or something?"
Umm...thanks? And...maybe someone was with me when I picked out the skirt. But I chose the top all by my lonesome. thankyouverymuch
There are just certain things I take for granted sometimes. For instance, if you live in Buffalo, NY, I would take for granted that you've seen Niagra Falls at least once. If you have lived in Tulsa for 10 years and your parents aren't dirt poor (and even if they were), I take for granted that you've been to Zio's at least once. I guess I'll stop assuming from now on, but come on! Zio's? After 10 years?
I hate it when someone gives me a compliment and then covers it up with something that's not quite as nice as the compliment. I call these "umm, thanks" moments. I wore these yesterday:
Except the shirt is in blue and not the wine color. Someone made this comment to me, "Rachel you look really summery and cute today. I love it! What? Did you have your personal shopper with you this time or something?"
Umm...thanks? And...maybe someone was with me when I picked out the skirt. But I chose the top all by my lonesome. thankyouverymuch
Monday, May 23, 2005
Stop feeding the birds!
Goal accomplishment checklist for the weekend:
1. Turn off cell phone and home phone and sleep an extra long time Saturday morning (What is wrong with me? I took a nap on Friday and then woke up at 8:00 on Saturday. I feel so old!)
2.Find two new pairs of jeans because out of your regular two pairs, one is too big and the other has a some funny brown stain on the knee from something that was on car
3. Wax upper lip;try not to tear up when doing so
4.Buy French memo board for mentee if I can find a 20% off coupon from Bed, Bath, and Beyond
5. Watch The Notebook with D.
6. Watch Swingers, Blues Brothers, and Edward Scissorhands
7.Say nothing stupid in front of D's parents (At least I think I accomplished this)
8. Buy big bags of mozarella and cheddar cheese
9. Figure out what, if anything, I'm doing over Memorial Day weekend
10. Read at least three chapters of my trashy romance novel (I didn't even make it through one)
11.Dust inside of car/wash inside of back glass/try to clean off strange mark on the dash that was there when I got the car (How am I supposed to clean the tiny part of the back glass? It's going to forever look foggy now!)
12. Buy toe ring that won't fall apart the 3rd time I wear it (tried, but couldn't find a cute one)
Such high goals for myself. All things considered, I did pretty well. Maybe I'll get around to one of the movies tonight.
Never in my entire life have I had a strong desire to just kill a nest of baby birds. I do now! My apartment is on the second floor. There are these little holes on the side of the building. I think they are the air vents for the clothes dryer. On the end of the hole there is a flap. When air flows through the hole, the flap opens. When there is no air flow, the flap is closed. These flappy things are literally 6 feet from my head as I sleep, two floors of them. Does the flap near my head close when the dryer isn't running? Of course not! That would make things too easy. So, flap stays open and momma bird makes a nest in there. Apparently birdies like to eat at 5 am SHARP. And within the nest the babies all try to be the loudest so that momma will give it the worm. 5 am is far too early for sibling rivalry for me.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6. Watch Swingers, Blues Brothers, and Edward Scissorhands
7.
8. Buy big bags of mozarella and cheddar cheese
9. Figure out what, if anything, I'm doing over Memorial Day weekend
10. Read at least three chapters of my trashy romance novel (I didn't even make it through one)
11.
12. Buy toe ring that won't fall apart the 3rd time I wear it (tried, but couldn't find a cute one)
Such high goals for myself. All things considered, I did pretty well. Maybe I'll get around to one of the movies tonight.
Never in my entire life have I had a strong desire to just kill a nest of baby birds. I do now! My apartment is on the second floor. There are these little holes on the side of the building. I think they are the air vents for the clothes dryer. On the end of the hole there is a flap. When air flows through the hole, the flap opens. When there is no air flow, the flap is closed. These flappy things are literally 6 feet from my head as I sleep, two floors of them. Does the flap near my head close when the dryer isn't running? Of course not! That would make things too easy. So, flap stays open and momma bird makes a nest in there. Apparently birdies like to eat at 5 am SHARP. And within the nest the babies all try to be the loudest so that momma will give it the worm. 5 am is far too early for sibling rivalry for me.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
The highly inappropriate cookout bottle
The Notebook was good, but the ending was so unbelievable to me that it really ruined the whole thing for me. Tacos San Pedro reminded me of any number of taquerias in Houston. It was cheap food, though. And good. But BLAZIN' HOT inside. It seems all authentic Mexican restaurants keep their thermostat at 85°. What is up with that? I don't think I'll be the restaurant chooser next time.
I got this phone call yesterday. The guy on the other end (who I really thought was my good buddy Jason in Arkansas) said, "What's up?" It was said in the same tone and pitch Jason would say it. My reply, "Oh, I'm just making out with my boyfriend, but you totally ruined THAT moment, Jason." (pause) "This isn't Jason, it's Mike." oooooooohhhh. I would not have said that to Mike, but would have to Jason. New rule: Make sure you know who you're talking to before you say anything. Mike goes on to tell me that he got engaged. Alright. I'm going to try really hard to be happy for him here. Am I honestly supposed to think that this is a completely good idea when you called me sober from some Kansas City football game in March and said, "I was just wondering...if I broke up with Jill, what would be the odds we could get back together?" Zero, dear! That's why I broke up with you 2 ½ years ago!
I went to a cookout today for my mentor program. My mentee wasn't at home. So I drove all the way to North Tulsa for nothing. I'm not really a big fan of cookouts. I like my A/C. There was a woman there that had some kind of developmental disability and she would only talk to me at the table and would repeat her sentences three times. I felt really awful about myself because I was annoyed at it. Why can't I just be more patient? Kids are different. I can deal with their stuff. Then again, none of the other people at the table would even look at her, so I guess maybe I was a bigger person. There was another mentor there that had one of the top 20 ugliest babies I've ever seen. She "asked" me to watch her baby while she ate and tinkled. It was "Rachel, hold him while I go eat." mmmkay. So me and ugly baby are sitting there bonding, smiling, etc. Woman tells me that if he gets fussy to give him his bottle. Gotcha! That I can do! Mommy leaves and of course ugly baby gets fussy. But the bottle doesn't have formula, milk, etc in it. What's in it? Soda. I refused to give this child a soda bottle, so I just sat there rocking him while he wailed and everyone else looked at me probably thinking, "Just give the baby the damn bottle." Well, forgive me for wanting to help produce a healthy child!
I got this phone call yesterday. The guy on the other end (who I really thought was my good buddy Jason in Arkansas) said, "What's up?" It was said in the same tone and pitch Jason would say it. My reply, "Oh, I'm just making out with my boyfriend, but you totally ruined THAT moment, Jason." (pause) "This isn't Jason, it's Mike." oooooooohhhh. I would not have said that to Mike, but would have to Jason. New rule: Make sure you know who you're talking to before you say anything. Mike goes on to tell me that he got engaged. Alright. I'm going to try really hard to be happy for him here. Am I honestly supposed to think that this is a completely good idea when you called me sober from some Kansas City football game in March and said, "I was just wondering...if I broke up with Jill, what would be the odds we could get back together?" Zero, dear! That's why I broke up with you 2 ½ years ago!
I went to a cookout today for my mentor program. My mentee wasn't at home. So I drove all the way to North Tulsa for nothing. I'm not really a big fan of cookouts. I like my A/C. There was a woman there that had some kind of developmental disability and she would only talk to me at the table and would repeat her sentences three times. I felt really awful about myself because I was annoyed at it. Why can't I just be more patient? Kids are different. I can deal with their stuff. Then again, none of the other people at the table would even look at her, so I guess maybe I was a bigger person. There was another mentor there that had one of the top 20 ugliest babies I've ever seen. She "asked" me to watch her baby while she ate and tinkled. It was "Rachel, hold him while I go eat." mmmkay. So me and ugly baby are sitting there bonding, smiling, etc. Woman tells me that if he gets fussy to give him his bottle. Gotcha! That I can do! Mommy leaves and of course ugly baby gets fussy. But the bottle doesn't have formula, milk, etc in it. What's in it? Soda. I refused to give this child a soda bottle, so I just sat there rocking him while he wailed and everyone else looked at me probably thinking, "Just give the baby the damn bottle." Well, forgive me for wanting to help produce a healthy child!
Saturday, May 21, 2005
The View from the Top
Aveda's Volumizing Tonic makes my hair feel really smooth and soft. It also makes my hair smell like pee. Can't have nice things, I guess.
So, I was having some dream about poisonous snakes last night. In the dream, a snake started crawling up my pant leg. To avoid getting bitten, I kicked it out. I woke up with my leg kicking and me yelling in a mumbly voice "get out." It was one of the only times in my life when I woke up and thought "I am so glad a human is not slepeing next to me." Only because it would have been embarrassing.
About a month ago, BK introduced me to Google maps. The cool thing about this site is that there are close up satellite views of most of the US. And they're within 6 months or so old. I can tell because of certain construction projects going on and whatnot. So, I decide to find my parents' house. Here it is:
So, I was having some dream about poisonous snakes last night. In the dream, a snake started crawling up my pant leg. To avoid getting bitten, I kicked it out. I woke up with my leg kicking and me yelling in a mumbly voice "get out." It was one of the only times in my life when I woke up and thought "I am so glad a human is not slepeing next to me." Only because it would have been embarrassing.
About a month ago, BK introduced me to Google maps. The cool thing about this site is that there are close up satellite views of most of the US. And they're within 6 months or so old. I can tell because of certain construction projects going on and whatnot. So, I decide to find my parents' house. Here it is:
Even from a satellite, you can see how much the house sticks out from the rest of the houses on the block. That's a fence in the backyard extension sticking out on the right. And that white thing? That's the camper. And if you look real close you can almost see that the roof is shinier because it's metal and not shingle. Yup, they have THE house on the block/town. But I still love them. Lots!
Friday, May 20, 2005
Panty disposal
I have no idea why, but I really need one of these. I'm sure I'd use it about one time in my entire life.
Eulogy = 7.25/10. Pretty darn funny.
It was SOOO cute. But I guess ET and LT are the only ones that will appreciate this. After D. left last night, Shelby was at the door whining for him to come back. Pretty significant for my dog. Especially since I've only seen her do this for my brothers and Michelle. And D. doesn't like onions, either. He thinks they're slimy. So see, I'm not the only one.
This last weekend I managed to buy retail $230 of clothes, earrings, shoes, and panties for $100. Ahh, the power of buy one get one free and $75 off if you spend $150 or more! So, I was putting up my new undies and an awful thought occured: I have no idea when I'm supposed to trash underwear! My mommy never told me. So I start thinking about the possibilities here:
A) When they are out of style (I have no idea what that might mean)
B) When they have a rip, hole, or tear in them
C) When they are a given number of days/weeks/months/years old. And if this is the case, how long?
D) When they have a stain of any kind on them (I once spilled bleach on black ones; it qualified for me)
E) If you find a bug in them (I'm thinking moth balls here)
F) If you find out that your friend/husband/boyfriend/brother/mother/etc "borrowed" a pair
G) If you see your dog/cat/anything living licking them (I'm not even going to go there)
H) When they have been worn X number of times
I have no idea which one of these is the correct method, though! Does this mean my mommy wasn't as good as I thought she was?
Eulogy = 7.25/10. Pretty darn funny.
It was SOOO cute. But I guess ET and LT are the only ones that will appreciate this. After D. left last night, Shelby was at the door whining for him to come back. Pretty significant for my dog. Especially since I've only seen her do this for my brothers and Michelle. And D. doesn't like onions, either. He thinks they're slimy. So see, I'm not the only one.
This last weekend I managed to buy retail $230 of clothes, earrings, shoes, and panties for $100. Ahh, the power of buy one get one free and $75 off if you spend $150 or more! So, I was putting up my new undies and an awful thought occured: I have no idea when I'm supposed to trash underwear! My mommy never told me. So I start thinking about the possibilities here:
A) When they are out of style (I have no idea what that might mean)
B) When they have a rip, hole, or tear in them
C) When they are a given number of days/weeks/months/years old. And if this is the case, how long?
D) When they have a stain of any kind on them (I once spilled bleach on black ones; it qualified for me)
E) If you find a bug in them (I'm thinking moth balls here)
F) If you find out that your friend/husband/boyfriend/brother/mother/etc "borrowed" a pair
G) If you see your dog/cat/anything living licking them (I'm not even going to go there)
H) When they have been worn X number of times
I have no idea which one of these is the correct method, though! Does this mean my mommy wasn't as good as I thought she was?
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Los Cabos y Vote
Last night I went with BK to Los Cabos in the newish Riverwalk Crossing place. Now it may be that I was overly critical of the experience last night for a few reasons: headache, feeling like I needed to puke, cramps, sleep debt. Or maybe the experience really did suck. I always get a little scared of a new restaurant that opens and has crappy service, as this did. As in...it needs to get better real quick like or they won't be around. It took us about, what BK, 5 minutes to even be asked for drinks? Neeway. Scott, our waiter, looked and acted like a California surfer dude. And I'm sure this is the first job he's ever had, so I'm willing to cut him a little slack. What was unforgivably funny, though, was when it was time to pay. BK's name is Brad; his credit card is masculine looking. Rachel's credit card is purple. We gave our waiter both of our credit cards and he came back 5 seconds later and asked, "So, how am I supposed to know whose card is which?" Hmm...let's see...Boy name on card goes with boy!!!! And although BK may have slight feminine qualities at times (and I mean that in the most endearing way), he would not be caught dead with a purple card. Genuine blonde moment for waiter boy.
I so totally hope I don't get screwed by what I did last night, though. BK and I had planned on going to Vegas mid-June. But the deal was that neither one of us could be in a relationship. And I am now. Or something that resembles one very closely. Or something. So we're not going now. I won't be a happy camper if this all blows up in my face and I end up with neither a boyfriend nor a vacation. Then again, I've got until December to do something with the vacation time.
Speaking of which, I'm going to hike the Grand Canyon next summer and possibly at Canyonlands National Park to the confluence of the Colorado and Green Rivers. With Daddy. And another random teacher that I know slightly from his school. We had reservations in June 2001 to do the GC, but icky things were happening to me at that time. I'm totally stoked about this, though. Anyone else wanna come?
I got this "State of Oklahoma voter registration address confirmation" card in the mail yesterday, as did BK, and they just make you fill in your name, birthday, and address for confirmation. But...it asks for the state on there. I'm not fully aware of all of the rules about where one can and can't vote, but it just seems silly to ask for a state when I'm thinking your legal residence needs to be IN OK to vote here. But that's just me. Ahh...my government working for me.
I so totally hope I don't get screwed by what I did last night, though. BK and I had planned on going to Vegas mid-June. But the deal was that neither one of us could be in a relationship. And I am now. Or something that resembles one very closely. Or something. So we're not going now. I won't be a happy camper if this all blows up in my face and I end up with neither a boyfriend nor a vacation. Then again, I've got until December to do something with the vacation time.
Speaking of which, I'm going to hike the Grand Canyon next summer and possibly at Canyonlands National Park to the confluence of the Colorado and Green Rivers. With Daddy. And another random teacher that I know slightly from his school. We had reservations in June 2001 to do the GC, but icky things were happening to me at that time. I'm totally stoked about this, though. Anyone else wanna come?
I got this "State of Oklahoma voter registration address confirmation" card in the mail yesterday, as did BK, and they just make you fill in your name, birthday, and address for confirmation. But...it asks for the state on there. I'm not fully aware of all of the rules about where one can and can't vote, but it just seems silly to ask for a state when I'm thinking your legal residence needs to be IN OK to vote here. But that's just me. Ahh...my government working for me.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Trailer trash
I totally forgot to mention that I missed Idol last night. I was walking Shelby and Bo with R. Anyway, life will certainly go on. I did, however, manage to catch the last 30 minutes of Britney & Kevin: Chaotic. Ya know, she's really cute when she's all dressed up and has on her makeup face. But every picture I see of her in US Weekly, People, and random tabloids when she's in public just makes me think she's really nothing but white trash. That show just solidified those feelings. With the exception that I felt like I needed to take a deep cleansing shower after watching. Her song "Everytime" = good (shut up!). Telling the world you had sex three times in one day ON video camera = just gross.
Just call back
I try really hard not to complain about the crappy driving of others. But I've been disturbed by the thought lately that goes something like "if you are going to wait until the count of one Mississippi, two Mississippi AFTER the red light to zoom on through, you almost deserve to get hit." And it's not that I really want anyone to get hit/hurt and I can sorta kinda understand going RIGHT when the light turns red. But after two whole seconds?
This somewhat ties in with he's just not that into you. There is a behavior we females tend to engage in that I don't understand at all. I don't think I've ever actually done this, so I'm not talking about me here. And if I ever have, I'm very sorry. Imagine the following scenario: You go out on one date with a guy. You didn't really dig him for whatever reason. He calls you the next day or two days after the date and you don't answer. You were in the bathroom or something. You don't really want to go out with him again. Do you call back or not? Apparently a lot of women choose to not call the guy back. Here's why this is the wrong choice:
A) Although men try not to show it, I'll bet that they're just as psychotic as woman are on this "is she going to call me"/sitting by the phone thing. And even if you don't like him, do you really want him to be as pathetic as we get sometimes?
B) Let's say the guy you went out with was a little on the crazy side. This is just fuel for the fire. And trust me when I say you do not want a psycho stalker on your tail!
C) It's just plain rude
Did I say you had to go out with him again? NO!!! If you don't like him, that's fine. Just remember that you did at least have the self-confidence to go out with him once. Would it really be so hard for you to call him back and talk for less than 10 minutes and say, "Look, Bob, you're just not my type"? Or whatever excuse you want to use? He might be upset that you don't like him, but in the end at least he won't be able to call you a rude bitch.
This somewhat ties in with he's just not that into you. There is a behavior we females tend to engage in that I don't understand at all. I don't think I've ever actually done this, so I'm not talking about me here. And if I ever have, I'm very sorry. Imagine the following scenario: You go out on one date with a guy. You didn't really dig him for whatever reason. He calls you the next day or two days after the date and you don't answer. You were in the bathroom or something. You don't really want to go out with him again. Do you call back or not? Apparently a lot of women choose to not call the guy back. Here's why this is the wrong choice:
A) Although men try not to show it, I'll bet that they're just as psychotic as woman are on this "is she going to call me"/sitting by the phone thing. And even if you don't like him, do you really want him to be as pathetic as we get sometimes?
B) Let's say the guy you went out with was a little on the crazy side. This is just fuel for the fire. And trust me when I say you do not want a psycho stalker on your tail!
C) It's just plain rude
Did I say you had to go out with him again? NO!!! If you don't like him, that's fine. Just remember that you did at least have the self-confidence to go out with him once. Would it really be so hard for you to call him back and talk for less than 10 minutes and say, "Look, Bob, you're just not my type"? Or whatever excuse you want to use? He might be upset that you don't like him, but in the end at least he won't be able to call you a rude bitch.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Pickin' my zits
Way to go to my 1st cousin Nelda's husband! Pulling a gun on a cop just ain't too smart of ye. You're lucky you aren't dead because of your idiot actions. I thought he was an idiot when you married him, ya know. Just divorce him already!
~~~~~
I went with my mentee on our first excursion. Taco Bell and Mickey's Bowling. I am such a great bowler that I should really consider joining a league. She scored 68 and I was 86 or so. I decided that I'm going to get her a French memo board and every week when we do our activities, we're going to take pictures. I'll develop them and give them to her the next week. This will make a nice little thing for her to look at in her room. It can be like a "collage of care". Both of her parents are losers. One is in jail. In fact, this mentoring program I'm involved in deals only with the chidlren of incarcerated people. This first round of pictures basically only shows the most unflattering view of my butt because we were bowling. Nice. We listened to music in the car. Can someone, preferably Maggie, tell me what the heck "Still tippin' on four fours" means??? I feel so white.
~~~~~
By the age of 24, most of my moderate teenage acne problems have disappeared. Not all of them, though. So, when a monster zit pops up anywhere, I put one of these on it before I go to bed. I know a dab of anything with benzoyl peroxide is really the way to go, but when I was in 10th grade I used that product twice and my face swelled up big time. I guess I'm either allergic/sensitive to benzoyl peroxide or something else used in conjunction with benzoyl peroxide products. I'm not going to flat out say that the zit stickers are bad. But all they really do is rip the zit off in the morning. I guess technically that is one way to get rid of it.
~~~~~
I went with my mentee on our first excursion. Taco Bell and Mickey's Bowling. I am such a great bowler that I should really consider joining a league. She scored 68 and I was 86 or so. I decided that I'm going to get her a French memo board and every week when we do our activities, we're going to take pictures. I'll develop them and give them to her the next week. This will make a nice little thing for her to look at in her room. It can be like a "collage of care". Both of her parents are losers. One is in jail. In fact, this mentoring program I'm involved in deals only with the chidlren of incarcerated people. This first round of pictures basically only shows the most unflattering view of my butt because we were bowling. Nice. We listened to music in the car. Can someone, preferably Maggie, tell me what the heck "Still tippin' on four fours" means??? I feel so white.
~~~~~
By the age of 24, most of my moderate teenage acne problems have disappeared. Not all of them, though. So, when a monster zit pops up anywhere, I put one of these on it before I go to bed. I know a dab of anything with benzoyl peroxide is really the way to go, but when I was in 10th grade I used that product twice and my face swelled up big time. I guess I'm either allergic/sensitive to benzoyl peroxide or something else used in conjunction with benzoyl peroxide products. I'm not going to flat out say that the zit stickers are bad. But all they really do is rip the zit off in the morning. I guess technically that is one way to get rid of it.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Voodoo grading & barf chicken
Yay me! I'm 13.5 pounds lighter than I was on my birthday, 12/27. This also means that I am seeing a tens digit on the scale that I haven't seen since around maybe 2001? I expect this to last all of 13.5 seconds.
By the power in voodoo grading, I ended up with a B in Jerk Professor's (see here and here) class. Brings the overall gpa from a 3.881 to a 3.861. Or actually a little higher since the crap financial accounting A hasn't been calculated into it.
I forgot to mention at the garage sale thing Sunday, there was this girl named Alaine (uh-lay-knee) who was vegetarian. I'm not sure I've ever met a vegetarian, but it is generally my assumption that the main reason a person would choose to be one would be the whole cruelty to animals thing. Not Alaine. Her reason? "Because animal waste is the number one pollutant of the waterstreams and I want to do my part to help out." She also mentioned loving her fur coat a few hours later. Interesting.
She also said something else that didn't quite set well with me. I've done zero Googling on this. She said that she's allergic to chicken. I'm fine with this so far. I asked what happened to her when she ate chicken and she said, "Since I lack the enzyme to digest chicken (although I've never heard of this, I can buy that part because I know the same is true of those with lactose intolerance) it sits in my stomach for about three weeks until I eat something that forces it on through, usually big raw vegetables. So basically I have salmonella for three weeks." Umm...it was my understanding that food sat in the stomach for a few hours and then was forced on out. If that were not the case, wouldn't she also have a motility issue? And that wasn't mentioned. And I'm 99% sure that not all chickens even have salmonella. But I could be wrong on this whole thing. It just seemed a little on the odd side to me.
~~~~~
Song of the moment: Breathe (2 AM)- Anna Nalick
By the power in voodoo grading, I ended up with a B in Jerk Professor's (see here and here) class. Brings the overall gpa from a 3.881 to a 3.861. Or actually a little higher since the crap financial accounting A hasn't been calculated into it.
I forgot to mention at the garage sale thing Sunday, there was this girl named Alaine (uh-lay-knee) who was vegetarian. I'm not sure I've ever met a vegetarian, but it is generally my assumption that the main reason a person would choose to be one would be the whole cruelty to animals thing. Not Alaine. Her reason? "Because animal waste is the number one pollutant of the waterstreams and I want to do my part to help out." She also mentioned loving her fur coat a few hours later. Interesting.
She also said something else that didn't quite set well with me. I've done zero Googling on this. She said that she's allergic to chicken. I'm fine with this so far. I asked what happened to her when she ate chicken and she said, "Since I lack the enzyme to digest chicken (although I've never heard of this, I can buy that part because I know the same is true of those with lactose intolerance) it sits in my stomach for about three weeks until I eat something that forces it on through, usually big raw vegetables. So basically I have salmonella for three weeks." Umm...it was my understanding that food sat in the stomach for a few hours and then was forced on out. If that were not the case, wouldn't she also have a motility issue? And that wasn't mentioned. And I'm 99% sure that not all chickens even have salmonella. But I could be wrong on this whole thing. It just seemed a little on the odd side to me.
~~~~~
Song of the moment: Breathe (2 AM)- Anna Nalick
Sunday, May 15, 2005
The blood, the transvestite, and the devil dog
Weirdest weekend ever! Maybe not ever, but in the top 10. Friday I went out with D. and that night when we got back I noticed some red stuff on the 1st floor leaking from one of the garages. Didn't think much about it. We were watching MTV at like 1:30 and this commercial came on. I think it was trying to advertise ring tones. It had these two turtles dancing around and the male turtle had what was supposed to be a tail but since they were dancing on just hind feet it looked more like his penis. And then he jumps on the girl. I'm going to have to watch MTV again to see what that was all about. I missed ½ of it because I was talking to D. so I'm not sure if it was a major mistake in editing or if it was meant to be random penis placement.
Then Saturday I went to the mall to pick up some makeup. Since when have we had an Oakley and Steve Madden store? And how did I not notice these two stores when I went to pick up the gift certificates for the office? And what went away to make way for those stores? Stupid Aveda girl gave me the wrong color of base so now I have to go back. So, I probably ended up looking ghost-like when D., Michelle, Sean, and me went to see A Lot Like Love. Good chick movie that guys might enjoy because you get to see Amanda Peet's ass. And Ashton Kutcher's. It was a 6.75/10 for me--the movie, not the asses. Then we went to Starbucks and tried to talk for a while but conversation wasn't at all flowing. D. & I left and went back to my place. When I took Shelby out to tinkle, the pool of red stuff that I saw Friday had grown exponentially. It really looks like blood at this point. Here's what I saw (if you click on the pictures it's easier to see the redness):
Then Saturday I went to the mall to pick up some makeup. Since when have we had an Oakley and Steve Madden store? And how did I not notice these two stores when I went to pick up the gift certificates for the office? And what went away to make way for those stores? Stupid Aveda girl gave me the wrong color of base so now I have to go back. So, I probably ended up looking ghost-like when D., Michelle, Sean, and me went to see A Lot Like Love. Good chick movie that guys might enjoy because you get to see Amanda Peet's ass. And Ashton Kutcher's. It was a 6.75/10 for me--the movie, not the asses. Then we went to Starbucks and tried to talk for a while but conversation wasn't at all flowing. D. & I left and went back to my place. When I took Shelby out to tinkle, the pool of red stuff that I saw Friday had grown exponentially. It really looks like blood at this point. Here's what I saw (if you click on the pictures it's easier to see the redness):
After D. left I decided to check out what it was before I called the cops to tell them there was a murder or something. I went down to take pictures to send Dad. I noticed that Frankie (woman that lives below me) was still awake so I knocked on her door to make sure she was ok and not bleeding and rotting in her garage. Or the bird that got caught behind her bathtub. Turns out, her deep freezer died and she had just butchered a huge pig. Yummy cleanup.
Sunday from 8:30-12:00 I volunteered the V.O.A. garage sale and saw my very first transvestite. Pre-op, I think. Shim was running the funnel cake stand that I had no money for. I really wanted a funnel cake though. Maybe I should start keeping cash on me. Anyway, one of the other volunteers looked really familiar to me. He started talking to someone else and said his name was Brandon and he's a senior at Mannford. Wait!!! You're my boss's SON! How weird! I had only seen a picture on my boss's credenza, though. So, at this garage sale, I acquired for free a devil dog costume that doesn't fit Shelby at all, but she looks sort of cute in it.
Sunday from 8:30-12:00 I volunteered the V.O.A. garage sale and saw my very first transvestite. Pre-op, I think. Shim was running the funnel cake stand that I had no money for. I really wanted a funnel cake though. Maybe I should start keeping cash on me. Anyway, one of the other volunteers looked really familiar to me. He started talking to someone else and said his name was Brandon and he's a senior at Mannford. Wait!!! You're my boss's SON! How weird! I had only seen a picture on my boss's credenza, though. So, at this garage sale, I acquired for free a devil dog costume that doesn't fit Shelby at all, but she looks sort of cute in it.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
It ain't just yo family
Maybe I got it all wrong and Shelby really is ok with men but just not strangers. And maybe she's only ok with men that are better suited for me or just nicer guys in general? Because she actually followed a man's command last night that had only been here one previous time and started showing her true self. True self means she didn't bark constantly (which is what everyone else sees) and the stump tail-waggine happened lots. I loved the context clue the man used, though: "Well, we'll see if she remembers me next time." Ahh...I guess that means there will be a next time. Well, there ya go. (that's me already starting to steal phrases)
~~~~~
My 3rd cousin Kerry (I think that's how she's related) got busted for the third time for pot/para. I neither really codone nor condemn this action, but it IS illegal. And my gosh, if you're going to smoke pot on a regular basis and have the same last name as me, can't you PLEASE just be smart enough to not get caught. However, I'm not sure which is worse: being stupid and getting caught for the third time (she's only 22) or the fact that her official charge is listed as "UNLAWFUL POSSESSION OF MARIHUANA." Who spells is with an H? I know it can be spelled like that but I've never seen it. Welcome to Ohklerhoamuh! And to my close to near Arkansas-born family.
On a similar note, I think I'm officially the only person I know that hasn't either smoked pot, done any drug, or been drunk. What is wrong with me?
~~~~~
My 3rd cousin Kerry (I think that's how she's related) got busted for the third time for pot/para. I neither really codone nor condemn this action, but it IS illegal. And my gosh, if you're going to smoke pot on a regular basis and have the same last name as me, can't you PLEASE just be smart enough to not get caught. However, I'm not sure which is worse: being stupid and getting caught for the third time (she's only 22) or the fact that her official charge is listed as "UNLAWFUL POSSESSION OF MARIHUANA." Who spells is with an H? I know it can be spelled like that but I've never seen it. Welcome to Ohklerhoamuh! And to my close to near Arkansas-born family.
On a similar note, I think I'm officially the only person I know that hasn't either smoked pot, done any drug, or been drunk. What is wrong with me?
Friday, May 13, 2005
Medical billing error?
It's a scary Friday the 13th. But I'm going out tonight so all should be well with me on scary day.
~~~~~
Naive/self-destructive (for lack of better words here) quote/conversation of the week:
"Rachel, what should I do about Bob? I love him so much, but he just won't quit drinking and smoking pot. And he yells at me. How can I change that?"
Oy! How about finding another Bob? Only better than Bob! She's not having any of that. Although I've not really had to learn the lesson the hard way, I'm fully aware that the only things that you might be able to change in a man are clothing style & grooming issues. (Grooming issues here is more like waxing unibrows and sucn) And that's IT! Why can't she just realize on her own that she's worth way more than him?
~~~~~
Guess what? I don't like being talked to in the bathroom. So stop asking me if your makeup looks fine and how to get rid of zits. I just wanna pee!
~~~~~
So, I check my home phone number messages when I'm at work. I called yesterday and this woman was like "Rachel, this is Kelly White. I need you to call this number TODAY before 5:00." It was a real voice. I called and the person answered NBC. NBC??? Did I win a random trip to Paris or something? Yeah, like I could be that lucky. Pretty much all I've ever won was a $1000 survey check in the mail and a blow up dinosaur when I was 8 at the Tulsa Zoo when Dinosaurs Alive! came to town. And the dinosaur was only useful for scaring me when I slept as a kiddo. "What is NBC?" "We're in Midwest City; Northwest Bureau of Collections." (or something like that) Just marvelous. So this person Kelly answers and says I need to verify my birthdate with her. Umm...no. Who are YOU? "I have three possibilities for Rachels and I need you to verify your birthdate to make sure this isn't you." Umm...no! TELL ME WHY. Collection services for medical bills. Yeah, aside from the fact that I managed to rack up $19 in late fees at the Harris County Public Library last year that I didn't pay, I do pay all my bills. Before time! She said I had to tell her my birthday to make sure it wasn't me. FIIIINE. It wasn't. But it freaked me out a little bit because for all I know with my recent credit card fraud thing, I only have to assume there's someone out there getting nose and boob jobs and using my name. I could see it now:
Collection person: Ma'am, we don't believe it isn't you that got the boob job.
Me: Oh yeah? Check this out (shirt rips off)
Collection person: OHHHH! Obviously, well you didn't have the boob job. Nevermind. We'll continue looking.
~~~~~
Naive/self-destructive (for lack of better words here) quote/conversation of the week:
"Rachel, what should I do about Bob? I love him so much, but he just won't quit drinking and smoking pot. And he yells at me. How can I change that?"
Oy! How about finding another Bob? Only better than Bob! She's not having any of that. Although I've not really had to learn the lesson the hard way, I'm fully aware that the only things that you might be able to change in a man are clothing style & grooming issues. (Grooming issues here is more like waxing unibrows and sucn) And that's IT! Why can't she just realize on her own that she's worth way more than him?
~~~~~
Guess what? I don't like being talked to in the bathroom. So stop asking me if your makeup looks fine and how to get rid of zits. I just wanna pee!
~~~~~
So, I check my home phone number messages when I'm at work. I called yesterday and this woman was like "Rachel, this is Kelly White. I need you to call this number TODAY before 5:00." It was a real voice. I called and the person answered NBC. NBC??? Did I win a random trip to Paris or something? Yeah, like I could be that lucky. Pretty much all I've ever won was a $1000 survey check in the mail and a blow up dinosaur when I was 8 at the Tulsa Zoo when Dinosaurs Alive! came to town. And the dinosaur was only useful for scaring me when I slept as a kiddo. "What is NBC?" "We're in Midwest City; Northwest Bureau of Collections." (or something like that) Just marvelous. So this person Kelly answers and says I need to verify my birthdate with her. Umm...no. Who are YOU? "I have three possibilities for Rachels and I need you to verify your birthdate to make sure this isn't you." Umm...no! TELL ME WHY. Collection services for medical bills. Yeah, aside from the fact that I managed to rack up $19 in late fees at the Harris County Public Library last year that I didn't pay, I do pay all my bills. Before time! She said I had to tell her my birthday to make sure it wasn't me. FIIIINE. It wasn't. But it freaked me out a little bit because for all I know with my recent credit card fraud thing, I only have to assume there's someone out there getting nose and boob jobs and using my name. I could see it now:
Collection person: Ma'am, we don't believe it isn't you that got the boob job.
Me: Oh yeah? Check this out (shirt rips off)
Collection person: OHHHH! Obviously, well you didn't have the boob job. Nevermind. We'll continue looking.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Light Bulb Oddity
It's official: I've been to north Tulsa now. To meet my mentee at her house. Maybe I was just in a better part of the rough side of town, but it didn't look nearly as bad as I had thought it was going to be. That's usually the case. Then again, I'm pretty naive and don't think people are going to randomly hurt me/steal my stuff and I was with my case manager, so all was well. Her court appointed family has a picture of a black Jesus in the living room. Paradigm shift.
~~~~~
Someone I know who teaches but wishes to remain anonymous says:
~~~~~
I walked into my apartment and turned on the light in my living room. It's a fan with four light bulbs attached. Right when I turned it on, one of the bulbs fuzzed out. As in, the filament or whatever broke and so no more light bulb. I go to the hall closet, get a light bulb, turn off lights to replace bulb, screw off old bulb, screw in new one, turn on switch. The moment I turned on the switch, another light bulb died in the same way bulb 1 did. I know when you put them in at the same time you can expect them to go out within a month or so of each other, but my gosh...5 minutes? Maybe I should spring for the brand name next time.
~~~~~
Someone I know who teaches but wishes to remain anonymous says:
Yeah, and at the NJHS induction ceremony, a girl there was named Lydia Dick. Just as bad.I know you will get a kick out of this. I was
reading out of the book in my Humanities class.
I did not scan the section I was reading before
class started. "Neeway,"* this composer could not
have had a worse name. His name, I am not
kidding, was Phil Dick. I looked out of the
corner of my eye and I saw a student start to
laugh which made me die laughing. We had to skip
that section.
~~~~~
I walked into my apartment and turned on the light in my living room. It's a fan with four light bulbs attached. Right when I turned it on, one of the bulbs fuzzed out. As in, the filament or whatever broke and so no more light bulb. I go to the hall closet, get a light bulb, turn off lights to replace bulb, screw off old bulb, screw in new one, turn on switch. The moment I turned on the switch, another light bulb died in the same way bulb 1 did. I know when you put them in at the same time you can expect them to go out within a month or so of each other, but my gosh...5 minutes? Maybe I should spring for the brand name next time.
*making fun of me for saying n. e. ways instead of anyways
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Milk anyone?
Geoffrey is officially the president of National Junior Honor Society and Joshua is officially a member of NJHS. Big sis is proud.
I stumbled upon this short article on how to prevent disease if you go to a petting zoo. Check out suggestion #3: "Do not eat or drink unpasteurized dairy products." I'll grant you I have thought of a lot of wacky things to do in my life, but none have ever included sucking milk straight from a pig, pony, goat, or any other petting zoo animal. And I can't think of any other reason for them to include that suggestion. Yuck!
Having said that, I have been told that milk straight from a cow and chilled is some yummy goodness. Welcome to Oklahoma!
I stumbled upon this short article on how to prevent disease if you go to a petting zoo. Check out suggestion #3: "Do not eat or drink unpasteurized dairy products." I'll grant you I have thought of a lot of wacky things to do in my life, but none have ever included sucking milk straight from a pig, pony, goat, or any other petting zoo animal. And I can't think of any other reason for them to include that suggestion. Yuck!
Having said that, I have been told that milk straight from a cow and chilled is some yummy goodness. Welcome to Oklahoma!
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Who WOULDN'T be that into ME? (3/3)
I walked to Hunter Park yesterday with Shelby and while making the big round circle, I got hit with a random flying golf club...in the crotch. I didn't think it was too bad at first, mainly because I was contending with a barking dog (kid who chucked it at me was over apologizing profusely) and everything down there was numb. Because of the numbness, I was able to make the walk back home. Didn't think too much of it. Woke up this morning barely able to walk and with certain things black, blue, and purple that should be...well...not those colors.
~~~~~
He called last night at 10:00 after a gig to tell me that he didn't want me thinking him a freak for finding my blog on my profile. I asked him how much of the blog he had read. Apparently whatever is on my front page, 15 past posts. Not sure he realizes there is more than that. I said, "Well, if you can read that and still be talking to me, that's a good thing." He replied, "Rachel, I'm a musician and I used to work at a hospital [in the ER during college], so I doubt there's much you could say that would shock me...you seem to be pretty non-judgemental about the things I've told you." True, but did you go out with people from the ER? I didn't think so!
Credit card fraud update: I still can't say enough about Discover Card. I got my requested statements since opening the card (just April 2004) in the mail today along with a letter Saturday saying my case was closed. Not really sure if that means they're going to forget about it or what. Anyway, I was wrong in the amount that was fraudulently charged. Here's what they charged up:
Walgreens Columbia, SC-$174.14
Walmart Supercenter Columbia (E), SC-$333.93
Yesterdays (restaurant) SC -$36.85
Shell Columbia, SC -$48.71
Total = $593.63
I'm putting my money on this jerkwad buying Viagra and these at Walgreens. Because only people with a tiny, non-functioning penis would do something like this, right? And...I worked at a pharmacy for a few months and got a kick out of that product. That's how I know about it.
~~~~~
Gosh, this post seems really catty and silly given the wonderful weekend I had. But whatever--I'll still post.
What was left out of he's just not that in you. Ahem. He's just not that into you if he only calls you when he knows you're not home. I also have a sneaking suspicion the person who did this to me about a month ago reads this, so let me tell you why this was a really crappy thing to do. Actually, no. Let me start off first by saying that I was never that into you. You seem like a nice guy and you have all of the qualities I'm looking for, but I was just never that into you. I'm sorry. Whew. Now that that is out, let's talk about the mixed messages you sent me that will drive your dream girl away in the future:
I'm only saying this because you probably are a nice guy, just not for me. And I find it disturbing that you would either lie about how much you were or were not into me OR if you really were into me, that you would treat someone this crappily. I have a feeling that the only reason you continued to call me and date me as long as you did was because you were trying to slowly sever things. I have no idea why you wanted to go out again. I find that odd. I know your job is stressful because I was IN your job last year. Just promise yourself that when you DO find someone else that you think is "completely amazing," don't do these things to her. Because if she's anything like me ("amazing" and what else did you say during one date? It was something a little too close to, "would make a good wife"), she'll see right through excuses and you'll lose her. And if you guys really were quite into each other, that would be no less than a tragedy.
~~~~~
He called last night at 10:00 after a gig to tell me that he didn't want me thinking him a freak for finding my blog on my profile. I asked him how much of the blog he had read. Apparently whatever is on my front page, 15 past posts. Not sure he realizes there is more than that. I said, "Well, if you can read that and still be talking to me, that's a good thing." He replied, "Rachel, I'm a musician and I used to work at a hospital [in the ER during college], so I doubt there's much you could say that would shock me...you seem to be pretty non-judgemental about the things I've told you." True, but did you go out with people from the ER? I didn't think so!
Credit card fraud update: I still can't say enough about Discover Card. I got my requested statements since opening the card (just April 2004) in the mail today along with a letter Saturday saying my case was closed. Not really sure if that means they're going to forget about it or what. Anyway, I was wrong in the amount that was fraudulently charged. Here's what they charged up:
Walgreens Columbia, SC-$174.14
Walmart Supercenter Columbia (E), SC-$333.93
Yesterdays (restaurant) SC -$36.85
Shell Columbia, SC -$48.71
Total = $593.63
I'm putting my money on this jerkwad buying Viagra and these at Walgreens. Because only people with a tiny, non-functioning penis would do something like this, right? And...I worked at a pharmacy for a few months and got a kick out of that product. That's how I know about it.
~~~~~
Gosh, this post seems really catty and silly given the wonderful weekend I had. But whatever--I'll still post.
What was left out of he's just not that in you. Ahem. He's just not that into you if he only calls you when he knows you're not home. I also have a sneaking suspicion the person who did this to me about a month ago reads this, so let me tell you why this was a really crappy thing to do. Actually, no. Let me start off first by saying that I was never that into you. You seem like a nice guy and you have all of the qualities I'm looking for, but I was just never that into you. I'm sorry. Whew. Now that that is out, let's talk about the mixed messages you sent me that will drive your dream girl away in the future:
- You would only call my landline. The only time you ever tried my cell was when you couldn't find my apartment.
- You know I don't get off work until 5:00. You would consistently call me after you got off work but conveniently right before I did and leave a message on my machine. Your messages would say, "I'm just wondering how you are doing, sweetie. Call me back." I'm alive and quite happy. Good enough?
- You would call during my accounting class. I know you knew when I was in class.
- You would call and leave a detailed message about when I was supposed to call you and make excuses for why you couldn't call me at that specific time. I don't think so.
- You didn't even attempt to kiss me. Ever. I totally took that for what it was: not being into each other. However, most females will generally take this as "oh how cute, he's taking things really really really slow." Perfectly fine with me because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have let you. Or if I did, it would be obvious that it wasn't enjoyed (think: scrunched up nose, furrowed brow, stiff lips).
- This missing each other's calls thing went on for about 3 weeks. And when I did manage to pick up the phone with you on the other end and we talked for like 30 minutes, you actually suggested we go to a really nice (I'm told) restaurant in Tulsa. And when I responded, "only if I pay for my own meal and if it's as friends because let's face it, we're not really into each other," you had the nerve to act shocked. You said, "Gosh, that's a major disappointment because you're amazing." Yeah, I know I am, but GAG me! I'm so amazing to you that you can't even pick up your phone and call my cell phone after trying to call my landline? So amazing that you never did follow through on that thing you were supposed to email me? So amazing that you never tried to kiss me or even hold my hand? Coulda fooled me!
I'm only saying this because you probably are a nice guy, just not for me. And I find it disturbing that you would either lie about how much you were or were not into me OR if you really were into me, that you would treat someone this crappily. I have a feeling that the only reason you continued to call me and date me as long as you did was because you were trying to slowly sever things. I have no idea why you wanted to go out again. I find that odd. I know your job is stressful because I was IN your job last year. Just promise yourself that when you DO find someone else that you think is "completely amazing," don't do these things to her. Because if she's anything like me ("amazing" and what else did you say during one date? It was something a little too close to, "would make a good wife"), she'll see right through excuses and you'll lose her. And if you guys really were quite into each other, that would be no less than a tragedy.
Monday, May 09, 2005
The Question of the Century
I knew I wasn't supposed to say I would post the 3 part "he's just not that into you" epic in 3 consecutive days because something ALWAYS happens with me.
Heaven Leigh is a cute baby (pw: Cloud). But still.
See...This is why I try not to discuss the mushy gushy side of myself on here. I'm like 99.9% I didn't even mention my bloggy blog. Initiated fella. I wonder if he'll still find me attractive after the whole blog is digested. heh
Worst movie EVER right here. Even worse than Freddy Got Fingered. I got it from the library MONTHS ago and just now got around to watching it to see how it compared with the 2003 version. It was awful in that unliberated/fake family sort of way.
Some of you will be quite proud of me. On Mother's Day at around 11:45 am Rhonda called and asked if I wanted to go to El Chico. I was sort of still asleep but I said sure because I have NEVER done anything with Rhonda except walk our dogs together on the trail (she has a 12 pound tan min pin named Bo--Shelby's cuter, but Bo sure is friendly). It was raining a lot and sure enough, this huge thunder/lightning thing happened and knocked out the electricity. So, I decided to just wash my face and pull my very oily hair back into a grease-slicked pony and get on with it, puffy face and all. The proud part of the excursion: I actually had an alcoholic beverage at El Chico (peer pressure mainly). Some blue frozen drink. I actually drank it all, too. And then promptly felt icky (or apparently buzzed and I'm not too big on the feeling) and slept for 3 additional hours when I got home after taking a bath. I'm such a party pooper.
I'm not going to go into major details here but I will say that it's really not as bad as you think. Person comes over to apartment and person needs to go tinkle or whatever in the bathroom. Person comes out of bathroom and asks me the question of the century: "Rachel, what was that in your toilet before I went?"
The only thing I could think of was a quick, "Oh God. I have no idea but I'm embarrased now. I'm not even sure I want to discuss this with you, so can we just drop it?" Could person, though? Nope.
Person says, "well, it was yellowish on one side and white on the other and was in the shape of a parallelogram."
Oh GOD!
I don't care what you find in there. It could be solid gold or a new species of bird, do NOT ever ask me that! And if you're scratching your head as to what it is, you obviously have a penis.
Heaven Leigh is a cute baby (pw: Cloud). But still.
See...This is why I try not to discuss the mushy gushy side of myself on here. I'm like 99.9% I didn't even mention my bloggy blog. Initiated fella. I wonder if he'll still find me attractive after the whole blog is digested. heh
Worst movie EVER right here. Even worse than Freddy Got Fingered. I got it from the library MONTHS ago and just now got around to watching it to see how it compared with the 2003 version. It was awful in that unliberated/fake family sort of way.
Some of you will be quite proud of me. On Mother's Day at around 11:45 am Rhonda called and asked if I wanted to go to El Chico. I was sort of still asleep but I said sure because I have NEVER done anything with Rhonda except walk our dogs together on the trail (she has a 12 pound tan min pin named Bo--Shelby's cuter, but Bo sure is friendly). It was raining a lot and sure enough, this huge thunder/lightning thing happened and knocked out the electricity. So, I decided to just wash my face and pull my very oily hair back into a grease-slicked pony and get on with it, puffy face and all. The proud part of the excursion: I actually had an alcoholic beverage at El Chico (peer pressure mainly). Some blue frozen drink. I actually drank it all, too. And then promptly felt icky (or apparently buzzed and I'm not too big on the feeling) and slept for 3 additional hours when I got home after taking a bath. I'm such a party pooper.
I'm not going to go into major details here but I will say that it's really not as bad as you think. Person comes over to apartment and person needs to go tinkle or whatever in the bathroom. Person comes out of bathroom and asks me the question of the century: "Rachel, what was that in your toilet before I went?"
The only thing I could think of was a quick, "Oh God. I have no idea but I'm embarrased now. I'm not even sure I want to discuss this with you, so can we just drop it?" Could person, though? Nope.
Person says, "well, it was yellowish on one side and white on the other and was in the shape of a parallelogram."
Oh GOD!
I don't care what you find in there. It could be solid gold or a new species of bird, do NOT ever ask me that! And if you're scratching your head as to what it is, you obviously have a penis.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Designed by a man
Happy birthday to Joshua! He's 13 today.
There are just some times when I look at the design of a place or use a product and my only thoughts are "That had to be designed by a man. No woman in her right mind would have made this because it has a major flaw in it that only a woman would stumble upon." The bathroom at P. F. Chang's in Utica Square is the latest in such thoughts. The lighting is very low, especially around the sink area. It looks beautiful with a trough concrete sink and a tiled backsplash/wall. The problem is that the lighting is so low I could barely see my face in it. A man wouldn't realize that 80% of the time the only reason I go to the bathroom after a meal is to check for stray pieces of makeup, food, or boogers from forehead to knees?
If you're an avid reader or know me at all, you probably know that I get a kick from making fun of people's names. Like on Leno when he does Headlines and they show wedding announcements where the bride and groom's last names combine to make something that sounds either dirty or funny. I guess I feel somewhat entitled to be able to make fun of these people because with my last name, I have to watch out who I marry. I could totally end up on Leno. I could see it now: The Harden-Long wedding. (What BK said below is true; however, if I were a "liberated" woman and chose to hyphenate my name, the Harden-Long would still work) This is my all-time favorite from around town. I even sent it to Leno. Here are two things that were in the Tulsa World this morning, though:
Birth:
Sunshine and John Cloud, Owasso, girl.
This is this chick's real name. Or at least there is a Sunshine Cloud listed in the Owasso phonebook. I'll bet 90% of the reason she married John was to have that name. And honestly, what mother names her child Sunshine? That's just asking for it right there.
And holy crap: they named their baby girl Heaven Leigh. Gag me!
Also in the World:
Mack-Sample
There are just some times when I look at the design of a place or use a product and my only thoughts are "That had to be designed by a man. No woman in her right mind would have made this because it has a major flaw in it that only a woman would stumble upon." The bathroom at P. F. Chang's in Utica Square is the latest in such thoughts. The lighting is very low, especially around the sink area. It looks beautiful with a trough concrete sink and a tiled backsplash/wall. The problem is that the lighting is so low I could barely see my face in it. A man wouldn't realize that 80% of the time the only reason I go to the bathroom after a meal is to check for stray pieces of makeup, food, or boogers from forehead to knees?
If you're an avid reader or know me at all, you probably know that I get a kick from making fun of people's names. Like on Leno when he does Headlines and they show wedding announcements where the bride and groom's last names combine to make something that sounds either dirty or funny. I guess I feel somewhat entitled to be able to make fun of these people because with my last name, I have to watch out who I marry. I could totally end up on Leno. I could see it now: The Harden-Long wedding. (What BK said below is true; however, if I were a "liberated" woman and chose to hyphenate my name, the Harden-Long would still work) This is my all-time favorite from around town. I even sent it to Leno. Here are two things that were in the Tulsa World this morning, though:
Birth:
Sunshine and John Cloud, Owasso, girl.
This is this chick's real name. Or at least there is a Sunshine Cloud listed in the Owasso phonebook. I'll bet 90% of the reason she married John was to have that name. And honestly, what mother names her child Sunshine? That's just asking for it right there.
And holy crap: they named their baby girl Heaven Leigh. Gag me!
Also in the World:
Mack-Sample
By Staff reports
5/8/2005Karla Sample and Isiah Mack were married May 6, 2005, at Antioch Baptist Church in Tulsa.
Parents are Mr. and Mrs. Marvin Sample of Tulsa; and Henry Mack of Orangeburg, S.C. and the late Retia Mack.
The couple will reside in Tulsa.
Yeah, baby, I want a sample of that "mack" going around.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Who WOULDN'T be that into ME? (2/3)
All I'm going to say is that my brothers now totally have a reason to flip out. mwa ha ha ha! Big sister gets revenge for all of the newly acquired stuff you guys have now that I didn't when I was your age: laptop, desktop, color screen GPS, XM 2 Go, I'm sure there's other stuff that I don't know about. And just general revenge for being a big sis. But, I'm still smarter than you. I'm going to totally disregard the fact that you guys are 10 and 11 years younger than me.
~~~~~
I noticed two other disturbing things about this book. Briefly check out the table of contents.
Now that this book is widely known, it means that a lot of men are exposed. We're now better equipped to recognize the crap they dish out to females. Problem is...I saw myself doing the same exact things as some of the guys in the stories of the book. I've used the same excuses. So, this means I'm exposed as well. Here's some of the crap I've dished out in the past:
1. I don't want to ruin the friendship. I'll know within 10 minutes of meeting you if I like you that way or not. Anything else, and I probably thought you were below my par to date.
2. I just want to take things really slow. Usually code for "Please don't ever try to kiss me because I find you physically repulsive" or "you constantly have some baaaddd donkey breath."
3. I've just been so busy lately.
Guess what? I have always been able to find time to go out with a person I was really into. I will reschedule as much as possible to get to be with you. And if for some odd reason I did actually have a hectic schedule that week/month, this is what it will look/sound like if I really am into you and not lying:
5. I'm just not really much of a phone person. Sometimes this is true but usually it means you're boring on the phone and can't hold your end of the conversation and I can't do all the talking all the time.
6. My social plate is really full right now. ha ha ha ha ha ha! It waxes and wanes but I'm completely in control of how much or how little I want on my plate.
7. I just got out of a relationship and I'm not really sure I'm ready for anything yet. See...this one's tricky because if I did just get out of one, I probably wouldn't even go out with you in the first place because I would still be getting over Mr. X. It's also usually code for, "I think you are really stupid" or "you are WAY below my par"
8. I'm afraid to get hurt emotionally yet again. Could be true sometimes. Like at this point in my life I'm afraid of being in a relationship that I think if going great and then just being dumped at what seems like random. Amanda calls this the sneak attack-I like that name. But...if I really really really like you, I'll get over my fears fast.
9. I just need someone a little more stable in their life path right now. That's my code for "you are a loser and I think you're going to stay that way" or "you are psychopathic" or "you need to get a better job than at McDonald's" or "you have too many money problems."
10. I'm just not really sure what I'm looking for in a guy. Just a flat out lie. I know EXACTLY what I want! That's why when I found one, it sucked that he didn't want me back. sigh. Oh well.
What excuses have YOU used to get out a relationship? The bigger quetsion here is should I continue to make up crap to get out of them or just simply tell the truth, "I'm just not that into you," which honestly might hurt more?
~~~~~
I noticed two other disturbing things about this book. Briefly check out the table of contents.
Now that this book is widely known, it means that a lot of men are exposed. We're now better equipped to recognize the crap they dish out to females. Problem is...I saw myself doing the same exact things as some of the guys in the stories of the book. I've used the same excuses. So, this means I'm exposed as well. Here's some of the crap I've dished out in the past:
1. I don't want to ruin the friendship. I'll know within 10 minutes of meeting you if I like you that way or not. Anything else, and I probably thought you were below my par to date.
2. I just want to take things really slow. Usually code for "Please don't ever try to kiss me because I find you physically repulsive" or "you constantly have some baaaddd donkey breath."
3. I've just been so busy lately.
Guess what? I have always been able to find time to go out with a person I was really into. I will reschedule as much as possible to get to be with you. And if for some odd reason I did actually have a hectic schedule that week/month, this is what it will look/sound like if I really am into you and not lying:
"You know Bob, I do want to go out this weekend! But on Friday from 6:00-9:00 I'm eating with my family, Saturday at 10:00 am I'm meeting a friend, 3:00 pm hair/brow appointment, 6:00 pm mentoring activity, 9:00 movie with girlfriends. Sunday I am going to go to Dallas. Bob, these are things that have been scheduled a long time ago and I would feel awful about rescheduling with my girlfriends. I would change the 3:00 hair/brow appointment but as you can see from my Andy Rooney brows I am in dire need. (I'm a 3-4 haircuts/year person) You can either see me between these specific times, unless you want to go with me when I'm really tired, or we can wait until I can devote more time to you. It's your choice and I'm very sorry. I'm not usually this busy."4. I am just really stressed out and have a lot on my mind. I do have a lot on my mind--Seinfeld episodes, music, my dog--nothing that includes you because I don't like you.
5. I'm just not really much of a phone person. Sometimes this is true but usually it means you're boring on the phone and can't hold your end of the conversation and I can't do all the talking all the time.
6. My social plate is really full right now. ha ha ha ha ha ha! It waxes and wanes but I'm completely in control of how much or how little I want on my plate.
7. I just got out of a relationship and I'm not really sure I'm ready for anything yet. See...this one's tricky because if I did just get out of one, I probably wouldn't even go out with you in the first place because I would still be getting over Mr. X. It's also usually code for, "I think you are really stupid" or "you are WAY below my par"
8. I'm afraid to get hurt emotionally yet again. Could be true sometimes. Like at this point in my life I'm afraid of being in a relationship that I think if going great and then just being dumped at what seems like random. Amanda calls this the sneak attack-I like that name. But...if I really really really like you, I'll get over my fears fast.
9. I just need someone a little more stable in their life path right now. That's my code for "you are a loser and I think you're going to stay that way" or "you are psychopathic" or "you need to get a better job than at McDonald's" or "you have too many money problems."
10. I'm just not really sure what I'm looking for in a guy. Just a flat out lie. I know EXACTLY what I want! That's why when I found one, it sucked that he didn't want me back. sigh. Oh well.
What excuses have YOU used to get out a relationship? The bigger quetsion here is should I continue to make up crap to get out of them or just simply tell the truth, "I'm just not that into you," which honestly might hurt more?
Friday, May 06, 2005
Sometimes I really hate myself!
Yay for my brother Geoffrey! He's the new president of National Junior Honor Society. I'm super proud of him. Maybe he can follow in his sister's footsteps and be pres of the "real" NHS in high school. He even beat out a really popular chick to get this spot, too.
I am SOOOO pissed off at myself right now! In my entire school career (Kinder to college!), I have made only 1 C on a report card/final grade, and it was only for a 9 weeks grade in 9th grade. And the semester grade was the only one that counted toward g.p.a. Then in college, I ended up with a 3.88 gpa, and I only earned only A's and B's. Earned the degree, on with life. Except this semester I took an online Business Communications course from my alma mater. It was taught by jerk professor and was a complete jerk off class. I literally devoted 15 minutes/week to this class to take the online multiple choice tests. Perfect on every assignment. I have no concrete reason why I even took this class. Well, maybe to accrue credit hours to renew my Oklahoma and Texas teaching certifications.
This was finals week. There was an online test to be taken and I was 99.9% sure it was to be taken by May 6th at 11:55 pm. I was a day off, May 5th. So naturally the link was gone when I tried to take it. I emailed him and asked why it was gone (not realizing I was a day late) and he replied, "Go back and read your instructions on when it was due." oops! Since it was worth 20% of my grade, I'm only assuming that even with the extra credit, I'll get a C in the class. And I have no one to blame but myself for reading the stupid email wrong. What really sucks is that I just railed on another loser student on LT's blog, hours before my ill-fated non test taking night.
I am SOOOO pissed off at myself right now! In my entire school career (Kinder to college!), I have made only 1 C on a report card/final grade, and it was only for a 9 weeks grade in 9th grade. And the semester grade was the only one that counted toward g.p.a. Then in college, I ended up with a 3.88 gpa, and I only earned only A's and B's. Earned the degree, on with life. Except this semester I took an online Business Communications course from my alma mater. It was taught by jerk professor and was a complete jerk off class. I literally devoted 15 minutes/week to this class to take the online multiple choice tests. Perfect on every assignment. I have no concrete reason why I even took this class. Well, maybe to accrue credit hours to renew my Oklahoma and Texas teaching certifications.
This was finals week. There was an online test to be taken and I was 99.9% sure it was to be taken by May 6th at 11:55 pm. I was a day off, May 5th. So naturally the link was gone when I tried to take it. I emailed him and asked why it was gone (not realizing I was a day late) and he replied, "Go back and read your instructions on when it was due." oops! Since it was worth 20% of my grade, I'm only assuming that even with the extra credit, I'll get a C in the class. And I have no one to blame but myself for reading the stupid email wrong. What really sucks is that I just railed on another loser student on LT's blog, hours before my ill-fated non test taking night.
Who WOULDN'T be that into ME? (1/3)
Credit card fraud/identity theft update: My plastic levels are fully restored. I got my Discover Card on Monday and my check/debit card + other credit card yesterday at my parents' house. Quick and easy. In keeping with looking on the bright side of things, the fraud allowed me to see my credit report from all three credit bureau agencies. That's what happens when you put a fraud alert on your accounts. Discover Card even called me Tuesday to ask if I had received the card because it hadn't been activated yet and then called Wednesday to see if I had made specific charges on the card.
~~~~~
While random blog reading (bored at work; boss was gone), I found what might be the cutest pic ever.
~~~~~
Sometime during my April-December 2004 "anti-dating" stint (hey, I knew I was moving back to Tulsa from Houston in June and was gone literally for ¾ of July on family vacation. So what would be the point of meeting someone then? And ya know, I just didn't want to be with anyone for a bit after that. I dunno.) I was introducted to he's just not that into you by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tucillo. I'm not sure if it was a friend that told me about it, the book review sections of US Weekly or People Magazine, or from reading Jennifer Weiner's (great chick lit author) blog or during an interview with her on Radio Times. I remember putting it on hold at the library in mid-October or so. By then it had been out for a couple of weeks and the media attention he garnered in chick world was high (he was on Oprah...bleh), so I ended up being like #50,000 in queue. I FINALLY got it on Sunday--and devoured it in 2 reading sessions. Yeah, it's a tiny book. It was just so funny! Given the fact that it usually takes me 2 months to get through other books (at least I do read books; many people I know do not), I'd say that means something. That something being that I'm probably "just not that into" the books I've been reading? I've been taking classes? Had a high-stress job? Pick my excuse!
Now, I don't put much stock in self-help books, especially on subjects so controversial (take this, for example). But I'm sure there's at least some semblance of truth buried in much of it. The author was so black and white, though. Male suitor either does or does not like you--no room for grey. That's a huge logical fallacy right there, but I'm willing to overlook that for a bit. For the most part, I had either directly experienced the "excuses" guys use, have a friend that has a dating story filled with mixed signals, or had even umm...used many of these excuses myself.
The chapter that I did not laugh at because it resonated too much with me was "He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You." I'm not an idiot, I just don't want to believe it when it's taking place. Deep down I know though when it's going on, though. Doh! Not that I've been one to sit by the phone and wait for a phone call. Ok, maybe I did when I was 13 a lot, but I'm no longer a teenager and they DO have my cell phone number. And if you don't have my cell number, there's your clue that I'm not into you. Yeah, I know you read this. You know who you are.
There was one chapter, though, of which I had zero concept of understanding: "He's Just Not That Into You if He Only Wants to See You When He's Drunk."
WHA??? You mean this actually happens so often that there needed to be an entire chapter devoted to the subject? And we women fall into this really lame trap? I know what you're thinking, ET, and "he's" was not quite what they meant in this scenario. Besides, ATM would fit under the "H.J.N.T.I.Y. if He's a Selfish Jerk, a Bully, or a Really Big Freak" chapter if we were keeping count. And we are. Since most of my friends (you're my friend, ET! don't even start it again) got married to their 1st-5thboyfriend and at the average age of 20, no one I know (and have discussed these issues with) really has enough history for me to get any kind of grip on how often this drunk thing happens. I guess I need to get over my perceived anti-alcohol thing and get out more.
Once again, I didn't have any major paradigm shifts while reading this book. The book did, however, make me feel tons more positive about damn near any dating situation. I did have one major problem with this book and two things he left out, but we'll save those for tomorrow and the next day...provided something REALLY odd doesn't happen between now and then.
~~~~~
While random blog reading (bored at work; boss was gone), I found what might be the cutest pic ever.
~~~~~
Sometime during my April-December 2004 "anti-dating" stint (hey, I knew I was moving back to Tulsa from Houston in June and was gone literally for ¾ of July on family vacation. So what would be the point of meeting someone then? And ya know, I just didn't want to be with anyone for a bit after that. I dunno.) I was introducted to he's just not that into you by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tucillo. I'm not sure if it was a friend that told me about it, the book review sections of US Weekly or People Magazine, or from reading Jennifer Weiner's (great chick lit author) blog or during an interview with her on Radio Times. I remember putting it on hold at the library in mid-October or so. By then it had been out for a couple of weeks and the media attention he garnered in chick world was high (he was on Oprah...bleh), so I ended up being like #50,000 in queue. I FINALLY got it on Sunday--and devoured it in 2 reading sessions. Yeah, it's a tiny book. It was just so funny! Given the fact that it usually takes me 2 months to get through other books (at least I do read books; many people I know do not), I'd say that means something. That something being that I'm probably "just not that into" the books I've been reading? I've been taking classes? Had a high-stress job? Pick my excuse!
Now, I don't put much stock in self-help books, especially on subjects so controversial (take this, for example). But I'm sure there's at least some semblance of truth buried in much of it. The author was so black and white, though. Male suitor either does or does not like you--no room for grey. That's a huge logical fallacy right there, but I'm willing to overlook that for a bit. For the most part, I had either directly experienced the "excuses" guys use, have a friend that has a dating story filled with mixed signals, or had even umm...used many of these excuses myself.
The chapter that I did not laugh at because it resonated too much with me was "He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You." I'm not an idiot, I just don't want to believe it when it's taking place. Deep down I know though when it's going on, though. Doh! Not that I've been one to sit by the phone and wait for a phone call. Ok, maybe I did when I was 13 a lot, but I'm no longer a teenager and they DO have my cell phone number. And if you don't have my cell number, there's your clue that I'm not into you. Yeah, I know you read this. You know who you are.
There was one chapter, though, of which I had zero concept of understanding: "He's Just Not That Into You if He Only Wants to See You When He's Drunk."
WHA??? You mean this actually happens so often that there needed to be an entire chapter devoted to the subject? And we women fall into this really lame trap? I know what you're thinking, ET, and "he's" was not quite what they meant in this scenario. Besides, ATM would fit under the "H.J.N.T.I.Y. if He's a Selfish Jerk, a Bully, or a Really Big Freak" chapter if we were keeping count. And we are. Since most of my friends (you're my friend, ET! don't even start it again) got married to their 1st-5thboyfriend and at the average age of 20, no one I know (and have discussed these issues with) really has enough history for me to get any kind of grip on how often this drunk thing happens. I guess I need to get over my perceived anti-alcohol thing and get out more.
Once again, I didn't have any major paradigm shifts while reading this book. The book did, however, make me feel tons more positive about damn near any dating situation. I did have one major problem with this book and two things he left out, but we'll save those for tomorrow and the next day...provided something REALLY odd doesn't happen between now and then.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Candy Differentiator
Scott's gone on Idol! Yay!
At the band concert Tuesday I browsed through the middle school yearbook. And Joshua was voted "sweetest" in the 6th grade poll. Ahhh... And between the two brothers, you can't hardly look at any of the clubs without seeing their faces.
I shouldn't have went to Cold Stone Creamery this weekend. My co-workers went out to smoke and the owners of the new one @ 103rd & Memorial were passing out huge samples of their stuff. The three of us all had free ice cream for breakfast. Candy Land for me. Yummy goodness! Except that the green and blue M&Ms shells got a little melty into the white ice cream and mixed together to make a weird puke green color.
Which brings me to another piece of blog fodder closely related to eating ice cream for breakfast at work. When anyone ever asks me what I do at work, I always have to reply with a blank look and an "err...I...umm...well...Do you really want to know or will it suffice to say I work at an independent telephone company and 70% of the time I do accouting stuff?" That usually does it. Most people hear the word accounting and the brain shuts off. Which is fine because I usually don't want to explain what I do.
With that other 30% of the time I have been known to perform a wide array of odd/interesting job tasks. But I think what I was (unofficially) asked to do Tuesday is the most odd/funny. As part of some promotional thing, we got three types of candy in wrappers with our logo on them. One candy tastes and looks a lot like Chewy Spree, one is round bubble gum, and the other candy is some type of minty-chocolate ball gilded with an M&M like coating. Hopefully the resident "Candy Wrapper Man" still reads this and will submit to a sample of minty balls and tell me what the heck they are. I want my candy to have a name. The problem with this candy is that the wrappers are all identical. It's easy to tell the Spree-like candies apart because they are flat. The gum and minty balls are difficult to tell apart. But I can! Gum is like 5% bigger, usually has more air in the package, and it's a smoother sphere. So that was my job. Separate out some candy for us. How could I refuse? It was just too funny. I think what makes it so odd is that the gamut of my job responsibilities run from very menial to "if I screw this up, no one gets paid this period/the IRS comes after us/the company bounces checks." Separating candy beats grading papers at 11:30 pm on a Sunday night ANY day of the week.
At the band concert Tuesday I browsed through the middle school yearbook. And Joshua was voted "sweetest" in the 6th grade poll. Ahhh... And between the two brothers, you can't hardly look at any of the clubs without seeing their faces.
I shouldn't have went to Cold Stone Creamery this weekend. My co-workers went out to smoke and the owners of the new one @ 103rd & Memorial were passing out huge samples of their stuff. The three of us all had free ice cream for breakfast. Candy Land for me. Yummy goodness! Except that the green and blue M&Ms shells got a little melty into the white ice cream and mixed together to make a weird puke green color.
Which brings me to another piece of blog fodder closely related to eating ice cream for breakfast at work. When anyone ever asks me what I do at work, I always have to reply with a blank look and an "err...I...umm...well...Do you really want to know or will it suffice to say I work at an independent telephone company and 70% of the time I do accouting stuff?" That usually does it. Most people hear the word accounting and the brain shuts off. Which is fine because I usually don't want to explain what I do.
With that other 30% of the time I have been known to perform a wide array of odd/interesting job tasks. But I think what I was (unofficially) asked to do Tuesday is the most odd/funny. As part of some promotional thing, we got three types of candy in wrappers with our logo on them. One candy tastes and looks a lot like Chewy Spree, one is round bubble gum, and the other candy is some type of minty-chocolate ball gilded with an M&M like coating. Hopefully the resident "
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
It's that time of year again
I'm not a huge fan, but Dad and me have been doing this for at least 10 years.
May the 4th be with you. :)
~~~~~
This is just so silly that is may work.
~~~~~
In the Tulsa World yesterday, this couple applied for a marriage license:
Amanda Brown, 23; Stephen Stephens, 37, both of Cleveland, Okla.
I'm trying hard to think of the mother's excuse/reason to name her child this. The ONLY explanation I can come up with is that Stephen's mommy potentially remarried a guy with that last name. Otherwise, I don't get it.
~~~~~
Geoffrey and Joshua (middle school brothers) are SOOO stressin' right now. Or really just Geoff at the present because I'm not sure Joshua caught wind of what happened. I went to their band concert last night (Geoff-percussion; Josh-flute...they both rock, too) and there was some phone number exchanging between myself and one of their teachers. He and I graduated together so it's not like a teacher just randomly started talking to me. We stood around and talked for like 90 minutes. Lots of groovy signals and signs. I AM into him. However, it's not like I think anything would ever happen, becasue let's face it: Although I haven't physically seen him in the last 6 years (waiting in line to take the certification exams for teaching at 7:30 am doesn't count), I didn't just drop off the planet. I mean, my goodness, BOTH of my parents teach there and my brothers ARE in his class. And he knows that they're my brothers. If he were that interested, I would only assume that he would have asked about me either through my brothers or my dad. Geoffrey and Joshua don't know this fact, though and I don't plan on telling them. It's just funny to see them squirm.
May the 4th be with you. :)
~~~~~
This is just so silly that is may work.
~~~~~
In the Tulsa World yesterday, this couple applied for a marriage license:
Amanda Brown, 23; Stephen Stephens, 37, both of Cleveland, Okla.
I'm trying hard to think of the mother's excuse/reason to name her child this. The ONLY explanation I can come up with is that Stephen's mommy potentially remarried a guy with that last name. Otherwise, I don't get it.
~~~~~
Geoffrey and Joshua (middle school brothers) are SOOO stressin' right now. Or really just Geoff at the present because I'm not sure Joshua caught wind of what happened. I went to their band concert last night (Geoff-percussion; Josh-flute...they both rock, too) and there was some phone number exchanging between myself and one of their teachers. He and I graduated together so it's not like a teacher just randomly started talking to me. We stood around and talked for like 90 minutes. Lots of groovy signals and signs. I AM into him. However, it's not like I think anything would ever happen, becasue let's face it: Although I haven't physically seen him in the last 6 years (waiting in line to take the certification exams for teaching at 7:30 am doesn't count), I didn't just drop off the planet. I mean, my goodness, BOTH of my parents teach there and my brothers ARE in his class. And he knows that they're my brothers. If he were that interested, I would only assume that he would have asked about me either through my brothers or my dad. Geoffrey and Joshua don't know this fact, though and I don't plan on telling them. It's just funny to see them squirm.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Anti-alcohol? Me???
Credit card fraud update: I'm so impressed with Discover Card. They called me Wednesday about the card fraud and my new card was in the mail Monday. In the color I had before and everything! And they even asked if I needed it overnighted when it was being reissued. I've never had to wait on hold and they even reissued my $40 Blockbuster free rental coupon book when I goofed up the first one by peeling off a sticker on the back. And it looks like the total amount written off of my account that I didn't charge was $1865.80. Much better news than last week.
I took my final at TCC last night and went directly to the gym. As I was working out on the elliptical with the headphones on passively listening to Everybody Loves Raymond AND reading a book (man, I SO have ADD), I thought "Darn it, this is probably the last time I get to use this gym until the fall, IF I take a class." I'm going to miss it. Or at least the ellipticals and the hip abduction/adduction machine.
See...this is what happens when I just want to paste a conversation but don't want to embarrass the person (nothing for him to be embarrased about, though). Anyway, last night was the very first time I've talked to this guy. It's just weird how when I don't mention anything at all, somehow people just pick up on things:
(21:26:35) tulsaxxpxxx: so, what do you do for fun...yep (it was a local game) although i can work a drillers game this year if they need a fill in
(21:26:52) reharden: umm...
(21:27:13) reharden: I try not to focus too much of my attention on any one thing so I can diversify myself...doesn't always work
(21:27:15) reharden: anyway...
(21:28:01) reharden: I enjoy reading, playing with my dog (first pet I've ever had so she's a BIG deal to me), watching movies (only once), eating at new restaurants, trying new things, music, umm...
(21:28:09) reharden: I'm a calm person generally
(21:28:15) reharden: I mean, as far as my activities go
(21:28:20) reharden: I work out often so I guess that's "fun"
(21:28:29) tulsaxxpxxx: yeah, i don't drink...never saw the point
(21:29:03) reharden: wait...did I say anything about alcohol anywhere or do I just send out anti-alcohol vibes or something?
(21:29:29) tulsaxxpxxx: it was the calm comment...sounded like you don't drink much or at all
I didn't realize that I was THAT transparent!
I took my final at TCC last night and went directly to the gym. As I was working out on the elliptical with the headphones on passively listening to Everybody Loves Raymond AND reading a book (man, I SO have ADD), I thought "Darn it, this is probably the last time I get to use this gym until the fall, IF I take a class." I'm going to miss it. Or at least the ellipticals and the hip abduction/adduction machine.
See...this is what happens when I just want to paste a conversation but don't want to embarrass the person (nothing for him to be embarrased about, though). Anyway, last night was the very first time I've talked to this guy. It's just weird how when I don't mention anything at all, somehow people just pick up on things:
(21:26:35) tulsaxxpxxx: so, what do you do for fun...yep (it was a local game) although i can work a drillers game this year if they need a fill in
(21:26:52) reharden: umm...
(21:27:13) reharden: I try not to focus too much of my attention on any one thing so I can diversify myself...doesn't always work
(21:27:15) reharden: anyway...
(21:28:01) reharden: I enjoy reading, playing with my dog (first pet I've ever had so she's a BIG deal to me), watching movies (only once), eating at new restaurants, trying new things, music, umm...
(21:28:09) reharden: I'm a calm person generally
(21:28:15) reharden: I mean, as far as my activities go
(21:28:20) reharden: I work out often so I guess that's "fun"
(21:28:29) tulsaxxpxxx: yeah, i don't drink...never saw the point
(21:29:03) reharden: wait...did I say anything about alcohol anywhere or do I just send out anti-alcohol vibes or something?
(21:29:29) tulsaxxpxxx: it was the calm comment...sounded like you don't drink much or at all
I didn't realize that I was THAT transparent!
Monday, May 02, 2005
Rip her head off!
The only odd thing I saw this weekend occured Saturday night. I was on my way from Blockbuster to Cold Stone Creamery. At 82nd & Sheridan, there was a minor car accident. Involved in the accident was a car that looked like the Batmobile. Possibly a Corvette, but it was dark so I have no idea. Anyway, the Batmobile actually had a Batman logo on the front vanity plate. Not really an oddity, but just sort of amusing to see the Batmobile in a car accident. I hope no one was hurt, though.
I was informed a few weeks ago on a trip from my apartment to my parents' house with my brother Geoffrey of an unknown (to me) fact about Joshua, the younger brother. He apparently used to take Barbie dolls, rip the heads off of them, and snuggle with JUST the Barbie head when he slept. Geoff said he was 3 or 4ish. Apparently all three of us be a little wacky.
I was informed a few weeks ago on a trip from my apartment to my parents' house with my brother Geoffrey of an unknown (to me) fact about Joshua, the younger brother. He apparently used to take Barbie dolls, rip the heads off of them, and snuggle with JUST the Barbie head when he slept. Geoff said he was 3 or 4ish. Apparently all three of us be a little wacky.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
The view from the dog
Hi Mommy,
It's Shelby, your loving doggie. There's some things you should know about me by now, but you seem to be having a really hard time figuring it out. I really hope you're not an idiot, Mommy. You see, I don't like men. Well, except for Uncle Geoffrey and Joshua and sometimes Grandpa. I also like to embarrass you just to see your reaction. Here are some of the ways I've tried to let you know that I don't want some man coming between us:
Barks away,
Shelby Gisele
It's Shelby, your loving doggie. There's some things you should know about me by now, but you seem to be having a really hard time figuring it out. I really hope you're not an idiot, Mommy. You see, I don't like men. Well, except for Uncle Geoffrey and Joshua and sometimes Grandpa. I also like to embarrass you just to see your reaction. Here are some of the ways I've tried to let you know that I don't want some man coming between us:
- Even though I know perfectly well that peepeepoopoo go either outside on the grass or on my puppy pads, when some guy is over here I'm going to do my best to pee on the carpet (I especially like doing this when he JUST got there and has never been to your place before...and oh, it'll be right after you tell him how good I am) and poo on YOUR bed.
- Even though I'm spayed, I still like to...umm...well...we have "needs" too, ya know. So, what's going to happen is every once in a while I'm going randomly commence with some self-love action. I'm even occasionally going to make some moaning noises. See, I KNOW how uncomfortable it makes you. But at the same time, I also know you don't really want to tell me to stop because it's like interrupting the only sexual pleasure I'm ever going to get.
- You just don't seem to get that if you leave the bathroom door open, all sorts of things from your bathroom cabinet and bathroom trash will end up on the floor in front of you and your date. I'm pissed off that none of your guy friends have ever noticed me dragging in feminine products, not always clean ones, and shredding them in front of my bed in the living room. Next time maybe I'll just take a clean tampon and jump up on your loveseat with you guys so that I'm noticed.
- If you EVEN start to think about getting cuddly on your loveseat, I'm going to take it upon myself to climb up immediately, put my heinie ho in the guy's face and make a smelly fart. I really loved that spaghetti you gave me, though, Mom.
- And when you choose not to answer your landline and Kurt calls and leaves a message, I'm going to whine and make it seem like I totally liked him better than the guy you're with, even though I barked at Kurt, too.
Barks away,
Shelby Gisele
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